Mostly just reblogs

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

we all have the homie that's a cautionary tale

it is unfortunate that i am extremely lazy while simultaneously wanting to make games that i'd describe as "everything's in it"

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

Conan the barbarian

that's goddess pose

immortality is a disability. to me

the nature of your body has changed in a way you don't understand. there will always be a "before" and an "after." why did this happen? and why did this happen to you? you're searching for a reason. you're searching for a meaning. is this a punishment? is it a divine gift in disguise? is there a cure? do you want a cure? all your friendships seem to drift inevitably away from you. will people ever see you again as the age you actually are? will you ever be able to interact with the world again like how you used to?

but. and this is crucial. you should hit your immortal characters with normal disabilities too