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@charlestrask
im going to die in this house

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Oh jesus, I was enjoying this lovely clip of roadie Noel swinging some udders at an Inspirals gig at the Reading Festival in 1990 when I realised something.
Reading Festival in 1990... Inspiral Carpets
You're telling me that Noel was one half of THIS??
Full video:
what is nefas?
so ‘nefas’ is a latin word which is probably best rendered in english as ‘sin’. it's used in latin literature to refer to crimes which go against the unspoken rules of the (roman) (“civilised”) universe, often ones associated with divine law. killing one's relatives is nefas. crucially, incest is also nefas. (n.b. that latin had no specialised word for sex between relatives—even ‘incestum’ just means ‘impure sex’.)
central to my personal fascination with the concept of nefas, however, is its etymology: nefas is probably derived from the proto-indo-european root *bʰeh₂- (‘speak’)—whence also the latin verb ‘fari’, ‘to speak’. so, the most literal meaning of ‘nefas’ is actually ‘that which is unspeakable’.
outside of classical literature, the inability to speak about one's experiences is an idea that comes up time and time again in narratives of incest. noel's songwriting is no exception. it is strikingly preoccupied with the speakable and unspeakable, and in particular is built precariously around the conflict between on the one hand noel's desire/need/compulsion to express his experiences and emotions through song and on the other hand the fact that he has a vested interest in not doing so—because to express himself fully (wrt the incest, specifically) would be to jeopardise his entire life.
this conflict seeps through the cracks of so many of noel's songs once you start looking for it. the most obvious manifestation of it is the theme of being unable to express one's feelings, e.g.
“i can't tell you the way i feel because the way i feel is oh, so new to me!”
“damn my education, i can't find the words to say with all the things caught in my mind.”
“there are many things that i would like to say to you, but i don't know how” (or, as noel sometimes sings it, “there are many songs that i would like to sing for you, but i don't know how.”)
note that i am allowing some slippage here between things that should not be expressed and things that physically cannot be expressed. this conflation is not an accidental one: the combined force of an external taboo (the incest taboo) working on internal repression (noel's) can be more than potent enough to fracture language itself.
in fact, i consider noel's “nonsense” lyrics to be a manifestation of nefas—i think that the fragmentation of language and meaning that we see in his more confusing lyrics is the result of the battle between his desire to express himself and the necessity to keep his experiences secret. but i want to talk about that in more detail in its own post...
the flipside of that which cannot be expressed is, of course, that which cannot be perceived—e.g.
“it was a sound so very loud that no one could hear”
“when the night is over, there'll be no sound”
the nature of the incest taboo is such that society's default reaction to incest is denial: denial that it exists in this specific instance, and denial that it is possible for it to exist at all. so not only is our speaker unable to express his experiences, but the listener isn't even able to comprehend them.
then if you want to (and of course i do want to) you can extrapolate further and apply nefas also to the things which are so unspeakable one cannot even think them:
“only for the young is the dreams you might not have. only for the young is the things we won’t remember”
“i'm thinking things that i just can't abide”
and this calls to mind certain aspects of trauma theory, and how sexual trauma in particular often results in a gap in the memory, a thing which can be neither explained nor expressed nor consciously understood.
note how in all of the examples i've given for nefas so far, noel has skirted around the idea. he will talk about the act of not saying/not hearing/not thinking without ever touching on what, exactly, it is that is not said/not heard/not thought.
the result of this is what i like to call The Hole™️: the conspicuous absence of an indeterminate Something in noel's songwriting; a [ ] at the heart of his music that is silent in itself but still colours the lyrics around it; a sound so very loud that no one can hear, if you will.
i have so much more to say on this topic, and in particular i really do want to spend some time examining individual songs more closely, so possibly you can expect some posts like that over the next few weeks. but this will do as a brief (?) explanation of the concept of nefas and why i think it's a useful word to have up your sleeve when dealing with noel's songwriting!!!! because truly. his lyrics are absolutely rife with nefas. it's like my own personal [ ] playground 💃🌈✨
other nefas-related ideas to consider/which i may elaborate on later:
noel's preoccupation with The Unnamed
the confusion surrounding identity in his songs—very often there is a ‘you’, an ‘i’, and a ‘he’ or a ‘she’, and these figures will overlap and become difficult to distinguish
the functionality of his songs and the role of the Stage-World in all of this (rock n roll and the suspension of reality)
EVERYTHING TO DO WITH CAST NO SHADOW.
really my Thing™️ is metapoetry (or here i suppose it would be metalyricism?) so i really am chiefly concerned with the relationship between noel and his music, and how the songs function in the world, how he conceptualises his songs, etc.
very last point: the venn diagram and the abstract i've put in this post are both from narrative nefas and the taboos of incest and bestiality in ovid's metamorphoses by joseph lawrence watson!!
the thing about being so into top gun is that i dont even want to be doing this. i disagree with the existence of this film politically ethically etc and i dont think its something that should exist. i didnt even like it when i watched it for the first time. and i thought top gun maverick was bad when i saw it for the first time. and then i became crazy and once i was in hyperfixation mindset it became impossible to even pick out the technical/form issues i had with the films. i know i had issues with them but i cant identify them anymore when i watch them. like it genuinely is some sort of virus thats infected my brain. i know i didn't like these movies but now i cant handle going without them. i have a virus..

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i did buy a nice skirt and a nice new pair of jeans today even though both of them made me feel bad about gaining 15lbs since grad school. but they fit me and feel comfortable and if i manage to look past all the body dysmorphia stuff i think they look nice. so a win i suppose even though they like 50% made me go yay awesome new clothes that look nice and 50% made me go wow my body looks freakish and i should die. but im trying to focus on the good part! so its a win.
i will probably head back soon anyways bc this pub dgaf about saudi arabis v uruguay they arent even playing the audio for the game
if kier starmer wanted to solve real issues he would get it so u could buy alcohol from the grocery store past 10pm
A sound so very loud, that no one can hear…

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TOM CRUISE & CHRISTOPHER MCQUARRIE - for Mission: Impossible 25th Anniversary
Chris finishing Tom’s sentences and thoughts, just off screen.
i just cant deal with my parents acting like im some crazy alcoholic for wanting to be in the pub to watch the world cup after 10pm. like well yes! im 25 and im on vacation! i dont want to be in bed yet! i would like to have a pint and watch the game!
and the fact that the real reason I wanted to stay back at the pub is to sneakily smoke some cigs is beside the point. i do still actually want to be outside watching the game more than i want to be in a hotel watching it on tv alone
i just cant deal with my parents acting like im some crazy alcoholic for wanting to be in the pub to watch the world cup after 10pm. like well yes! im 25 and im on vacation! i dont want to be in bed yet! i would like to have a pint and watch the game!
awkward
tried to watch valkyrie and the sound mix (or at the very least the sound mix on the torrent i got) was so bad that i think i have to just wait to watch it when i get home. which leaves oblivion and jack reacher 2 to watch on holiday. not hugely excited about either i should have done the smart thing and watched his mediocre stuff first so i could have the good stuff left. but alas.

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please somebody win the next game im tired of draws its boring to me.
liking a ship but disliking the distinct set of stock fanon that they have been assigned is like one of those punishments dante came up with when he wrote the worldbuilding for hell in inferno