bird of play

something i find really interesting about holland's first pov chapter in acol is how nuch like metatextual Holland Explanation v gives the reader and it doesnt feel like a normal like we're in the middle of a series starting a new book let me like explain everything bc its been a second. bc it doesnt really serve the story nor does it like really catch you up to speed with whats going on bc its like. specifically clarifying his Intent with all of his actions (the actions he was able to actually take!!! whcih is not a lot) up until the last book and the Extent to what has been in his control vs outside of his control. it really feels like. soecifically for the reader's sake, but Specifically specifically for the reader who hasnt understood his Whole Deal up until now. ie. the exact cool thing v was tryijg to do with holland in book 1 the thing that made me rock w him and be a day1er. which is. not give him pov and have like. well all holland had in book 1 was how he represented himself that was the only thing semi in his control. and it was vital for him to represent himself like. terribly. especially to kell which was our majority pov. bc his whole plan revolved around killing himself (both out of genuine suicidal intent and like general goodwill i need these people dead and they wont die if i am alive bc i'll need to protect them). but he was not physically able to actually kill himself Himself and the only other person in the entire everything that he Knew would physically be able to kill him was kell. but he knew that kell is extremely sentimental and empathetic(not a compliment like. to a fault. maybe wrong word. responsible+pity) so he had to be like. he had to be perceived so so terribly to the point that kell would be ok w killing him. nothing about his actions changed because he had 0 control over that shit anyways but the way he allowed others to perceive whether or not he Did care and whether or not he Was allowed any kind of agency. AND IT WAS SO COOL WITHOUT HIS POV. bc that meant as the reader you either Got It and were like augggghhhhhhhhhhhhh ack oh my god dude oh godd or. you were like. perceiving him the way he meant to be perceived and the way everyone else percieved him!!! which is also a fun reading experience being so locked into the main chara pov.