Sunlight On The Lino

i think to make a gimmick blog on this website you need a "when is it fine to start joking 101" class because i just saw one roleplaying on a post about a trans woman being banned

yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you

the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]

I would be so good at alchemical fraud, Id be pouring bottles into each other watching that shit sizzle making a kings ransom and Im out the window before they realize the panacea I gave them is straight mercury vapors and dog ashes

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

ill say it since no one else wants to: i dont like hair in my mouth

ok well maybe i like it when you have hair in your mouth? consider that next time

im sorry women

folks who are having some kind of gender or not or different>>>

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

“But North Korea has a cult of personality” and we depict our founding fathers as angel-like beings blessed with the divine vision of a great nation built on earth that will spread its light to all corners. Like literally. We painted that on the ceiling of our capital building.

It’s literally called The Apotheosis of Washington.