you are my soulmate

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

personally if i was a thirty year old woman and every time my relationship status changed there were articles chronicling all my boyfriends dating back to high school i would have committed several felonies, so i think taylor has shown unparalleled levels of restraint

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

being insanely obsessive will not get u anywhere but it sure do pass the time

"i can fix him" Bitch you're worse

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

Talking to men is so funny you’ll just be like “oh?” And then they talk for 10 minutes

God gives his hardest lemonades to his toughest Mikes

fanfiction was such a good idea. like put those guys in situations

'how would other people describe you' why would i know this

they have a certain gnc quoi

idk why people say "sleep is for the weak" like....ok maybe to YOU.... to ME sleep is for the cozy....like stfu maybe if you went honk mimimimimi honk mimimimimi you'd calm down

every woman should get a government subsidized large iced coffee in the morning