you will see us use i/me and we/us pretty interchangeably btw. like there is a vague logic behind it, but most of the time, we put zero effort into actually disecting what that logic is. like sometimes "i/me" gets conflated with someone else because whatever we're talking about is kinda generally applicable, or we can vaguely remember someone else's experience from their perspective for any number of reasons. half of it is also just conditional from using first-person singular pronouns for our entire life until last year.
plurality is messy. we're still people afterall, and people are inconsistent and unpredictable and weird. especially in the case of DID lmao.
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yeah i just rlly like stories where someone has another person/personality inside that's a manifestation of their anger and stress. I just relate to it a lot. for no reason. I also like headcanoning characters as systems. for no reason.
for those out there who feel like their dissociation 'isn't enough' and feel like they're faking because of it, hey. maybe it's because you lived your entire life with this experience and got too used to it. but here's the thing, dissociation isn't just 'suddenly blacking out and having no memory of the entire past day' no matter how much its painted as that. not all dissociation is sharp and obvious.
forgetting passwords, forgetting names and people, forgetting your dreams, having too vivid dreams, insomnia, brain fog, face blindness, remembering your days like a blur, struggling to remember your schedule, school/work day gone too fast, forgetting to eat, forgetting to drink, derealization, depersonalization can all be caused by dissociation. i know its hard to accept but it is, just because you don't black out doesn't mean you don't dissociate; if you sit on your computer stopping for a second doubting your password or if you wake up feeling like that was a trainwreck of a dream then suddenly it stops being visible is caused by dissociation. if you're awake, looking around but having the feeling that something with the existence of the surroundings is wrong is also dissociation. if you suddenly remember that you forgot to eat that day, that you forgot to drink that day, the time is 3 am and even though you never blacked out and you were always there, is still dissociation.
if you grew too used to constantly living these little things, then you are probably ignoring your symptoms. so please stop the doubting. you're not fake, your dissociation is real, your amnesia is real and you are not lying. please remember this. you are a system, and it's okay to dissociate. it's not your fault.
Shout out to all the kids who always picked shape-shifting as their hypothetical power growing up and assumed it was for gender affirmation but now realize it was also a plurality thing.
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being part of a system is a metronome that swings between “DEBILITATING TERRIFYING SELF DOUBT THAT MAKES YOUR ENTIRE WORLD TEETER ON A KNIFE’S EDGE” and “CRUSHING ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY THAT IT’S ALL REAL BECAUSE NO OTHER EXPERIENCE ON EARTH COULD EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THIS”
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just found out one of my best friends irl is a system ! she's known for over half a decade but she only just found the means to let me know. you know how prevalence of this type of existence is estimated to be roughly as common as redheads, if not more? IT'S TRUE. you could be interacting with systems every day!!!! I know it gets so lonely but there are so many people going about their lives as part of a system. plurality is a normal variation of the human experience and it's all around you. we're all gonna be okay I think
Scott Goldsmith’s Native Environment is a Horrible Murder Box
this has consequences
Vampires smp was originally billed as an amongus alike with light roleplay elements, so Scott Smajor basically just took a pile of life series conventions and built a character around it.
The life series, for the uninitiated, is a competitive minecraft youtube series where everyone has a limited number of lives (times they can die), and the goal is to be the last one standing. The mechanics gradually allow more murder to happen over time, so everything starts with people making nice with each other and ends with an absolute bloodbath. The tone is kept light by the mutual acknowledgment that everyone is a youtuber playing minecraft, but there has been plenty of discussion about how much actually living in that kind of world would suck.
And then we have Scott Goldsmith
Scott Goldsmith, who wasn’t intended to be much of a character in the first place, winds up playing the life series conventions to the hilt as genuine character traits and social standards. For the most part, this worked out incredibly well! Scott Goldsmith is an interesting character that works well with the rest of the cast and is fun to watch, which is basically everything you can ask for in an improv series. There are, however, some artifacts from this that have some big impacts on how Scott works.
Most notably, Scott Goldsmith works from the baseline assumption that he will have to crawl over the bodies of other people to survive, and that that’s just normal. It’s not even anyone’s fault. Everyone lives in a horrible murder box and the only way to succeed is to make sure that it’s you on top.
(this doesn’t stick out too badly because noble power games are frequently just a slightly more free range murder box, so Goldsmith being murderbox georg does not particularly contradict his lore or backstory)
The other major consequence of murder boxes being Scott Goldsmith’s main thing is that Scott actually follows a fairly rigid set of rules and assumptions when dealing with other people. His own personal vampire code, if you will.
The code of Scott Goldsmith is as follows:
1: The in group deserves everything and the outgroup deserves nothing. Everything the in group does is good and justified, everything the outgroup does is not.
This is the bedrock of the gaslight, gatekeep, goldsmith social interaction special, and the governing principal behind what Scott is willing to justify and when. Basically, if he or someone he likes did it, then he will defend it and deny even the concept that it might have been wrongdoing. People that are not members of his coven generally have their actions weighed by how dangerous or inconvenient they are to himself or His People.
The most obvious example of this is the interactions with v!Avid in episode 6 and 7. In episode 6, he complains about Avid burning down Shelby’s house, but in episode 7 he defends it by claiming that “it was ugly”. The same instance of the same action performed by the same person goes from something worth complaining about to something worth defending based entirely on where they stand in Scott’s regard.
Note also that this rule has no interest in fairness or reality. If Shelby says “the sky is green and the moon is made of cheese”, and Martyn says “no it's not”, then Scott will back up Shelby because Shelby is coven and Martyn is not. If Shelby kills Martyn, Scott will immediately decide that Martyn had it coming. If Shelby kills Martyn, burns down the town, and declares her desire to destroy the world and rule over the ashes with an iron fist, Scott will fully support her in that endeavor.
2: A lone vampire is a dead vampire. Your power is directly proportional to the number of people that answer to you
On one level, this is just mechanically true for vampires smp. Every person turned is another set of hands that can corrupt the beacons, and, just as importantly, one more person taken away from the effort to consecrate them. Even if that person never switches sides, the fact that they can’t consecrate any more or use the various human powers makes it a worthwhile effort, which is why there was a general OOC limit to turning only one human per episode. (and they had to take a break from turning people if they accidentally turned too many)
a more character driven level, Scott is very much a social threat, and acts the part. Turning people lets him acquire minions, who are easier to manage than outsiders, and generally aren’t going to cause him problems.
Vampirism is generally more then enough to force someone into his faction, because once someone is turned the humans will do the bulk of the work in driving the new vampire away from them and into Scott’s waiting arms. It’s a phenomena Scott is very confident about and takes shameless advantage of.
This is also why in episodes where Scott doesn’t turn anyone (due to the OOC limits), it’s styled as him stopping because the new vampires aren’t joining up- growing his power base is the main benefit of turning new vampires, and when that peters out he becomes more hesitant to do so.
3. Your actions should always advance your agenda
In other words, Scott mixes business and pleasure in the sense that his hobbies always contain some practical value.
This is, honestly, the one Scott haters get wrong the most. While there’s nothing wrong with having a villain in your story, Scott isn’t the sort of person to torture someone in his basement for the sake of it when he could be torturing someone in his basement for information, or to break them down into something more psychologically dependent on him.
Even if recreation is his main goal, he should ideally have a secondary goal as a matter of both practicality and preference- it’s just more fun for him if he’s being paid to be evil. (or buy some ice cream. Or pet a dog. Or help someone out)
4. Betrayal is a crime of the highest order. Loyalty is a virtue of the highest order.
What, exactly, Scott considers betrayal varies over the course of the series, but this is generally the governing principal behind the various times he menaced Pyro, why he didn’t see v!Avid’s murder coming, and why he was both so pleased with v!Avid and so angered by his death.
Scott Goldsmith values loyalty, and to a degree both expects it as his due and considers it an obligation to give loyalty in turn. This isn’t surprising- most Scott Smajor characters run along lines of loyalty and devotion. Scott Goldsmith is not an exception just because he is also a Dracula.
5. Support your allies however you can
Scott is, in fact, an incredibly dedicated ally. He does things like give Pyro food while having low hunger himself as early as episode 2, and the tendency to act like that only goes up over time.
This makes a certain amount of sense- helping other members of your faction also helps you because you’re all working together for a single goal. In Scott’s case this is especially true, since as the leader he’s deciding a disproportionate amount of the group’s goals. A well fed minion is a productive minion. A productive minion is a lot more likely to succeed at your goals.
This one is the part that can be the hardest to reconcile with Scott’s everything else. However, it’s important to remember that Scott is not immune to the desire for companionship, and also that he actually needs to keep people on side in order to not die. In some ways, this is very much an extension of rule 2.
6. (new) be a good friend
Over the course of the series, Scott gradually gets attached to the other vampires, and comes to see them as companions with needs he should consider outside of their mutual victory. He realizes that he likes the people around him, and he wants them to be happy. That he cares about them as people, and not just as tools.
The process of this takes the entire series, but by the end of it his friends are a big enough priority that he points out opportunities to escape to his own detriment.
In conclusion:
1. Scott’s core character concept is “guy that is trying to get a good grade in Minecraft Hunger Games, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve”
2. Scott Goldsmith does not so much have a moral compass as he has a set of rules designed to keep him alive. The bad parts of this are obvious, but there are good parts, too: when it mattered most, Scott was able to change and grow to suit the people around him. Owen and Ren, by contrast, violently self destructed and that hurt the people around them because they were too rigid in their personal convictions.
3. The support he offers to other people in the coven is real and sincerely meant. The expectation that those coven members will aid and abet his own misdeeds is also very real. Scott himself doesn’t recognize the difference until the end of the series, where he asks Abolish to stop him from doing bad things.
4. The finale of vampires smp from Scott’s pov very much pivots around v!Avid’s death. It turns out that the rules that Scott shaped himself around weren’t as ironclad as he thought, because the people around him would literally rather die than put up with them. The mechanics that demand violence and bloodshed can be subverted in a way that causes unnecessary death and suffering.
And, to be clear, Owen and Pyro are dead to him as soon as they do this. In part because he’s planning on killing them himself, yes, but also because their actions are tactical suicide.
When he next talks to Pyro in what is basically his eulogy, Scott thanks him for the reminder that he should expect death and misery, because as far as he’s concerned death and misery are the normal course of events. Scott was winning so much he forgot that murder boxes suck, actually.
This is increasingly a problem because, by the laws of murderboxes, Shelby and Drift are almost certainly going to die- they both struggle with pvp, don’t have the aggression to cover for it, and with Pyro and Owen lost they don’t have enough front liners to cover their weaknesses. If things continue the way they’re “supposed” to, more people that Scott cares about are going to die.
So, Scott starts looking for another way out. After all, if the rules can be broken in ways that are bad, maybe they can be broken in ways that are good. Maybe they don’t have to kill everyone. Maybe murderboxes are bullshit, and all of this was entirely unnecessary.
So he starts looking, and, surprisingly enough, there is a path out. It’s not easy or bloodless, but it is a strict improvement over the status quo. It’s an option that keeps his friends alive.
Of course, just leaving this murderbox isn’t enough. Scott still has to deconstruct the murderbox in his own head, because otherwise his actions will simply create another murderbox around him.
That’s a bad outcome, so he enlists Abolish to kill him if he starts causing problems. Scott’s not great with morals, but he’s excellent with rules and practical consequences. So long as backsliding into the worst of his old behavior is guaranteed to go badly for him, he can be fairly sure that he won’t do that.
Actually figuring out how to be a functional person outside of the torment nexus is basically an entire novella’s worth of character development that the series doesn’t have time for, so instead it settles on “they figured it out eventually”.
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I notice alot of my followers on here skipping these posts just to mess with my lgbt ones, suspiciously the white popular ones.
Heres a not so friendly reminder, as an lgbt metis person, i dont give a single fuck what your blog is themed or if this is too painful for you to look at. Reblog this post. Reblog this post with the sources of the 751 children who were found.
Your compliance and silence as well as the compliance and silence of your ancestors is what allowed these schools to open and kill first nations children. The children of MY people.
Dont follow me if you cant reblog this post or the one with sources to your political blog or your most popular blog. Add trigger warnings if you must but if your political blog is only focused on the harms you personally face like being lgbt then you need to see some bigger pictures and stop being afraid of angering your racist mutural or actually saying some shit about racism. If you can reblog some antifa graphics or add blm to your bio to be a surface level ally, you can reblog some sources on the genocide first nations people faced and still face today.
I’d like to add this photo I took last night in Victoria of the statue of Captain Cook. Though I myself am not indigenous, I 100% agree that these murderers, kidnappers and rapists shouldn’t have huge statues and plaques that decorate them and say how “great” they were.
Here’s another photo of the legislative assembly from yesterday. Later on there were more items, candles and signs at the memorial, as well as a big poster with 1505 painted on it but I didn’t get a picture
People need to see this. Not just quickly glance at the photos and keep on scrolling. They need to see this.
I had seen the first picture of the church, but not the second.
I went to a “Cancel Canada Day” event and burst into tears - not because I was surprised to learn of the unmarked graves (survivors told us they were there. Our government pushed it aside, and we let them), but because seeing all the people gathered in mourning drove it home: They. Were. Children.
This is my country’s legacy - and it’s not history. The last schools closed during my lifetime. My Father went to school with students who lived at the local residential school, after it was changed to a boarding house (read: holding centre) for indigenous youth who went to local schools.
They were all children, injured, abused, and killed in my country’s attempt to erase them. I want the world to see this and hold the state accountable to *active* reconciliation> I mean we could at least truly adopt UNDRIP in action instead of words for god’s sake.
here you can read an article about a survivor of the church and some of the things he experienced to help put into perspective how awful and just how recent it was
