If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

Cannot stress enough that you say this in your head

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

one thing the “winter is better than summer” crowd will never have on us summer enjoyers is centuries of tradition wherein spring and summer is conflated with joy and rebirth and fall and winter is associated with depression and death

i m a normal girl who has normal thoughts all yhe time

they should give me landmines

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name

does anyone else feel like a weirdo or is it just me and the guy from riverdale

american girl dolls are like the anti- possessed evil doll. they ward off the devil rather than serve as a receptacle for him. like you know satan doesn’t have jack shit on baby butch lesbian molly mcintire, WWII hero

actually fuck this im gonna walk into the deep sea and never come back. bye

THERES CREATURES

The CDC says you have to get under this blanket with me. It's fucking dire

The CDC says there's only one bed

The feminine urge to catch feelings for toxic guys and get attached to them and skip sleep to talk to them only to cry over them in the end over the fact that you overshared because now they're gone and you've been blocked!!

dont do that spongebob its christmas

All I want in life is a floor to ceiling bookshelf with a sliding step ladder and a collection comfy armchairs. Is that really too much to ask?

prommy (like short for prometheus)

icky (short for icarus)

Pussy (short for Oedipus)

okay you win