flaming garbage

If you are like me and always need to be working on something to keep your anxiety under control, during this quarentine why not helping scientists by looking at pictures of some neat penguins? or even galaxies?  There’s this site call Zooniverse, where you can help on scientific projects by analyzing pictures and data!  Right now my favorite project has returned, called Penguin Watch (where yeah, you get to watch penguins, it’s amazing)

you basically have to analyse photos looking for penguins, their chicks, eggs or even predators and human interaction But there are lots of interesting projects you can help in areas such as biology, physics, history or even art: 

Another project is about the fan and hate mail sent to Orson Welles after the broadcast of War of the Worlds.

There was an ad where animals were looking for "Gerti", so we reenacted that but first with "Helga" and then when we found out someone was looking for their friend with the friends name. It worked.

If people are chanting the band's name, someone will start chanting nonsensical words. Sometimes even a wrong bands name and sometimes others will join in. That's how the crowd started to cheer for Sabaton at the rise against concert

There are some rules in the pit. The most important one is that if someone falls, you help them up again. Then, if they want out, you help them out. I have seen two scrawny little kids hold up an entire circle pit hold the door style because someone fell in front or them

On the topic of mosh pits, at one concert I was standing at the edge of the pit and someone fell against me. Totally my own problem, but the guy turned around, started apologizing and then knelt down and kissed my hand. Then after I told him it was ok he offered me to get me up to crowd surf. I took him up on that offer

When I was on one of the largest music festivals in Austria (Nova Rock) I also camped there and was woken up by someone blasting children's songs

Hands down the best atmosphere at the same festival was at the late night act, which in this case was EAV, an older band with pretty silly songs

- the crowd randomly singing Julia und die Räuber (an old song by a well-known band, partly sung by a little girl)

- conga lines

- Helene-Fischer-singalongs (ugh)

- at least one group in neon-coloured animal onesies

- if you bring sparklers and soap bubble makers, you must share them. Yes, I made soap bubbles for Rammstein. They seemed to like it.

- one of the German festivals is on an old airfield, so people bring their kites to fly.

- if you find lost stuff on the floor, you put it up in a visible spot, so the owner can find it. If it's a wallet, you find the owner and return in (happened to my brother - the finder sent it back to him in a letter from the Netherlands).

- one of the traditional Wacken bands is the local "band" of the voluntary fire fighters. They do not play metal, they play cringy old-fashioned Schlager, and they are wildly popular.

Also, the calls for Helga, I need to add, started in the 80s in Wacken, and subsequently spread to every other metal festival in Europe. Legend has is that a drunk guy was looking for his girlfriend, and the helpful crowd started shouting, too. They're still shouting it today, so we can only assume that Helga still hasn't been found.

i tried my best to translate it into digital so that people get a bit more accurate look at them. Tho bear with me I’ve never done an actual pattern design sheet before!

so basically my hope is that anyone could print these out to any size of their choosing and get the same result, but ive never tried anything larger than approx. 3 inches with these sooo idk if you try it tag me!

the goal is to sew the backs together to the lines at the tip of the head to the middle of the butt. then leaving a space along the belly piece near the butt end and sewing from one side of the butt including all the legs and the “mouth” to the other side with its legs to get back to the butt. if that makes sense

i usually pause sewing up the body once the head is fully sewn together,, usually after ive sewn both arms and ill yank it inside out where ill start sewing on the little poofball eyes so i know theyre in a good place, then resuming the body, and then pulling the whole thing inside out and pushing out the tips of the limbs with a skinny blunt object like a dull pencil until i can see the stitches. if you attempt this piece definitely make sure you stitch up the arm and leg crevices very well!!!!

then just stuff the lad and sew up his back end and its done :)

one suggestion for fabric is always try to use a stretchy soft fleecy fabric with these because its much easier if mistakes are made during sewing and to hold the ROUND shape better

Absolutely incredible.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

+ bonus (someone that should be feared):

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”