On the Lighter Side

I like how this is phrased as if Hozier is some rando

hot girls run over the curb

hot girls walk around their car after they park to check if theres any damage

the face of a new man

I lost it at the whaps of the pillows hitting the other guy. Comic timing was absolutely amazing. 

we all laugh at guy fieri, smash mouth and the shrek movie series, but we also all collectively agree that their existence makes the world a better place

The king laughs at the jester, but values his wit and honesty

"Taylor Swift is the patron saint of a Brazilian soccer team" is not something I expected to learn today

any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating

Or if they have a knife for a tounge

yeah. or if they have a knife for a tongue.

they deadass forgot oranges

ok they also forgot blackberries

Black isn’t a color

Redcurrents

Currants come in both black and red, the color isn’t a part of the name but an adjective.

Kiwis

I’m very sorry but kiwis are a bird not a color.

I’m about to Mcfuckin lose it

The only possible response

Their love suddenly makes so much sense

“I also hate comedy. But I love you” what power

I reblog this every time I see it. I just cant

THIS IS WHERE THE MEME CAME FROM

Reblogging because I never saw that part before!

my dad owns a small business and today he found out that one of his male employees was sexually harassing a female coworker and sending her dick pics and shit and so my dad fired him and then immediately left work to drive to this guy’s other job and told his boss there and got him fired from two jobs in the span of like an hour lmao 

Good dad.  Good boss.

Your dad is amazing!

Best Dad. we stan.