Hey There Boys, Its Me, Ya Demon

@funnier-when-objectum

i obviously do not play with toys. i only like formal dinners, and foreign films.

pollo👍

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock

what nonsense!

sometimes there really is a single load bearing piece of information about a blogger that elucidates everything about their whole deal and recently for me it was learning that someone was from jersey. another time it was a prolonged history of concussions

i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him

“Look here pal, I know my religion, and this ain’t it. Whatever this guy is, they’re clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?”

#not my covenant not my malefactor

XD

Bitch just pulled a bazooka out of her titties like it was nothing.

she from chicago

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

Ah feel 'sif an Odyssian task is basically a poor sod mid ADHD

A Pandorean task - just the act of starting it unleashes all manner of disasters.

best thing a character can be is aromantic. Next best is a little bitch. Next is big as a fridge. Next is gendernonconforming. Next is a reluctant single parent. Next is cunty as fuck.. Next is a murderer. Next is subjected to The Horrors. I can go on.

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

ever since i was a little girl i wanted to be a man with a homoerotic years long incredibly intense friendship with another man

Your secret is safe with me (i dissociated mid sentence and didn’t hear a thing you said)

your secret is also safe with me (I immediately forgot what you said)