G.O.M.C.

president Jonald J. Jump

full legal name Jonald John Jump

jacked junk jangle

the problem with putting mature content filters on sexual content is that it doesn't protect anyone and certain bodies get viewed as inherently sexual or fetishistic

the position of the mischevious pig marks the hours

Pussy so wet you can hear it squish when you squeeze your thighs together.

That's what good macaroni & cheese sounds like.

We need to conquer space travel for the only reason that zero-g would allow for new never before seen pastries, you know how the top of the muffin is the best part? Well that is because it is exposed to air so it changes the chemistry, in normal earth gravity it is impossible to make a muffin that is all top part because it needs to be placed somewhere which would restrict air flow, however in zero g it would be possible to make a bubble out of muffin dough which gets optimal airflow and becomes an all-top part muffin... This is the dream...

@derinthescarletpescatarian

I don’t care that Jayce got topped by Mel, the most stunning and radiant woman who has ever walked the earth, the very pinnacle of human creation, the goddess who surely inspired all the greatest poets to ever exist, who looks like the fruit of labor from the delicate hands of a master craftsman who designed the palace of the gods itself. It should have happened to me.

tbh it's cruel to tell young girls on here that lesbians and bisexual women don't care about body hair and weight and skin and so on and so forth because they're going to find out it's a lie one way or another. women who are attracted to women are not magically exempt from having patriarchal beauty standards engrained in them and from punishing other women/girls for it and it isn't helping anyone to pretend we are.

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

when I was in [redacted name of town] everyone always said "You're a fish! You're a fish! You never leave the ponds!" I went for a swim twice a day, everyday. I felt more like a dog running full speed than I ever did a fish but it's true, I don't ever want to leave the water.

we should mandate industrial themed nonbinary names to balance out all of the people naming themselves after trees. throw Anvil into the mix

god. fuck. i dont even want to go to jupiter to get more stupider. but it’s the only place i can afford. fuck. christ

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

Culturally significant forbidden candy