Yo, I went through your top posts for like a second, and if you do Tumblr blaze again, you should do the Gandalf with HUGE badonkas this time (good for him honestly).
which?
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@jarjartolkien
Yo, I went through your top posts for like a second, and if you do Tumblr blaze again, you should do the Gandalf with HUGE badonkas this time (good for him honestly).
which?

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Dangers of working on a set.
That’s what I said.
Okay but you forgot the best part! During the scene where Aragorn, Gandalf and the other Main CharaktersTM ride ahead to go shout at the gate (and talk to the mouth of sauron in the extended edition) they were very firmly told only to ride up ahead “this far” because that area was cleared and beyond that it wasn’t.
But. Viggo Mortensen is absolutely mad and lead them just…. a bit farther than that. Everyone else was very scared they might blow up any second. Viggo said it “added a little extra tension”.
#they just don’t make behind the scenes stories like lotr anymore
Viggo was just Like That™ for the whole trilogy, taking method acting to extreme levels:
he would spend multiple days walking overland to locations in full pack, sword, & armour when everyone else was travelling in trucks
refused to use any prop swords that weren’t actual steel
basically lived in the forest in-costume, sleeping rough under the sky, even fishing & foraging for his food when possible
often spent hours in the barn just bonding with the horses. He adopted the horse he rode, Uranus, after filming ended
repaired all his own gear by hand, which was often since he never took it off
had a tooth knocked out during filming but had the crew simply glue it back in place so they could keep filming
the instructor who taught everyone swordplay said Viggo was the best swordsman he had ever trained
carried his sword literally everywhere & practiced non-stop, resulting in the cops being called when locals reported “a wild man swinging a sword around his head" outside a gym in Wellington
an orc actor fucked up & accidentally threw a dagger directly into Viggo’s face, but Viggo just deflected it with his sword. They kept that shot
infamously broke 3 toes kicking that helmet but stayed in-character & sold his very real scream as part of the scene. They also kept that shot
Viggo insists on doing his own stunts; in The Two Towers where Aragorn is unconscious & floating down the river, the strong current pulled him underwater for so long that a rescue team had to go in to save him. Viggo survived by grabbing a boulder on the riverbed and pulling himself to the surface
It’s probably more accurate to say that Aragorn played Viggo Mortensen in the off season, so I’m 100% unsurprised to hear he put a whole crowd of fellow actors in genuine mortal peril for a 12% increase in authenticity
wow I hate his guts now
Female Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beard
Child Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.
really underrated part of the LotR films is when gollum gets exposition lines. like can you imagine? you're travelling with the most fucked-up evil little murder greyhound creature imaginable and he lives in a cave and doesn't know about potatoes but from time to time you have to ask him about local geopolitics. and he answers you
Bilbo's shirt: BARREL RIDER
Thorin's shirt: BARREL

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Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there
Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now
So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon
And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska
A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.
Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives
wait actually this is funnier
i have several thoughts on translation and tolkien. not just the textual role of translation in the conceit, no, i want to read the two towers in arabic because some things about the rohirrim would really, especially resonate in arabic. for example, the lament for the rohirrim, and the style of the old english lament that tolkien borrows to evoke maximum nostalgia, grief, and distance from the past, is almost perfectly an echo of the arabic ritha’.
i found a translation of the fellowship that used the word jinn as a translation for elves, and several people took issue with the choice, but i found it simply perfect. elf, in english, has two connotations in the same way that the word jinn does, and the translator chose this word for a reason. i found it a clever choice.
‘elf’ can evoke either galadriel and fëanor or santa’s little helpers, and you would not swap out this iconic, useful word for another because of either connotation, would you? ‘jinn’ can likewise evoke figures of great mystery and mystique in worlds far removed from our own, or it can evoke horror stories told around a campfire. not only does this match the word for elf in english, in a sort of way, it perfectly captures the sheer difference between elves in the silmarillion and elves in the lord of the rings.
now, i should love an arabic translation of the fall of gondolin that captures how extremely ancient baghdad it is of turukáno to craft two trees from silver and gold in a city that will never be finished, that will be built and rebuilt forever in the memories and the art of others.
Need y’all to know that in the 1970’s a letter to the editor was published in Daily Telegraph where the author offhandedly used the phrase “Tolkien-like gloom” to describe an area with barren trees and JRRT himself wrote back an incensed rebuttal at the use of his name in a context that suggested anything negative about trees.
“I feel that it is unfair to use my name as an adjective qualifying ‘gloom’, especially in a context dealing with trees. In all my works I take the part of trees as against all their enemies”
He was like how dare you sir I am the biggest tree fan out there
A tree tried to eat the hobbits. Tom Bombadil had to save them. There's Mirkwood, "The Forest of Great Fear." I'm on the side of the writer of the letter to the editor.
Because Tolkien is Tolkien, he actually directly defended the actions of all his forests and trees in this same letter I’m referencing
@businesstiramisu !!!!
This is the best thing in the entire world. Here is a transcript:
Beautiful place because trees are loved From Prof. J.R.R. TOLKIEN SIR—with reference to your leader of June 29, I feel that it is unfair to use my name as an adjective qualifying “gloom,” especially in a context dealing with trees. In all my works I take the part of trees as against all their enemies. Lothlorien is beautiful because there the trees were loved; elsewhere forests are represented as awakening to consciousness of themselves. The Old Forest was hostile to two-legged creatures because of the memory of many injuries. Fangorn Forest was old and beautiful, but at the time of the story tense with hostility because it was threatened by a machine-loving enemy. Mirkwood had fallen under the domination of a Power that hated all living things, but it was restored to beauty and became Greenwood the Great before the end of the story. It would be unfair to compare the Forestry Commission with Sauron because, as you observe, it is capable of repentance; but nothing it has done that is stupid compares with the destruction, torture and murder of trees perpetrated by private individuals and minor official bodies. This savage sound of the electric saw is never silent wherever trees are still found growing. J.R.R. TOLKIEN Merton College, Oxford
@monstrousgourmandizingcats
"Old Man Willow did nothing wrong" is not the Tolkien take I expected today, but I'm here for it.
tolkien shouldve made celebrimbor a woman but luckily due to the texts nature we can pretend that that was the case and history just erased her

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Arwen Undomiel Queen of Gondor
I drew a little extra sweet moment to this here
I'm open for commissions on ko-fi <3
-Bilbo Baggins at his 111th birthday party.
I love reading all the theories about who wrote each part of LoTR and how, and my favourite addition to it is probably the idea of Sam actually writing/editing his own POV parts in all three main books, which is also painfully obvious.
Because when Frodo describes himself we don't really have much of description of his looks or/and oftenly his personality. We know what he says, what he thinks and what he does but it is rarely accompanied with any kind of physical description from him, because he has no desire to describe himsef detailingly.
When we move to Sam's pov, however, we have whole multi-paragraph description of how beautiful Frodo is, how his almost transparent skin shines under the sun, how peaceful his face is in his sleep, how cheerful is his laugh and how painful it is to look at his hardships. Like, the difference beetwen Frodo from general pov and Sam's POV is incredibly sweet and so, so funny.
Frodo: This is Frodo. Frodo is Just A Guy. He's currently going through the worst time of his life. Frodo looks like Frodo. Please, let him exist in this mortal plane for one more second.
Sam: This is the most beautiful creature and being on the whole Middle Earth. There's no one braver and better and more resilient than him. Here's twenty paragraphs about how wonderful he is and how beautiful his naked skin is in a Mordor Torture Chamber. I love him so much did you know that Frodo Baggins is so majestic. Did you know that.
hot take:
Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.
Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.
Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards
& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards
#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)
further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.
omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards
by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.
Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards
@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror
Every day, against my will, the LOTR fandom makes posts.
We getses tagged teamed by the precious hunky orcses boys til we’re wrung out like a soggy dishes rag we does
Sorry that was uncalled for

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I love that Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and the hobbits start all insulting each other on sight and Theoden literally says "It cannot be doubted that we witness the meeting of dear friends." Theoden Gets It
PLEASE PROVIDE THE SCENE I DONT KNOW THE BOOKS NEARLY WELL ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE THIS PROPERLY
@theriu SURE!!!
This is after the fall of Isengard, when the Fellowship and some men of Rohan reencounter Merry and Pippin after their capture.
"He" refers to Merry
Théoden really took one look at these goofs and went, “Yeah, these guys have definitely marched cross-country together for months and months and faced Horrors before.”
Théoden knows.
Probably one of my favorite random things about LotR is the fact that
a) Pippin did a Gollum impression in the books
b) Pippin had never MET Gollum before that point and never would
c) yet it was an ACCURATE impression, as it startled and was recognized by the orc he was speaking to
d) the only possible explanation for Pippin Took’s accurate Gollum impression is this: Bilbo, while telling stories to the eager children, must have imitated Gollum perfectly
Which also kind of drives home how weird it would have been for both Frodo and Sam to suddenly be travelling with what was basically the equivilent of like... rumplestiltskin... from their childhood bedtime stories.