Of Mice And Memes

my favourite video game character archetype is 'weird guy with no clear investment in the plot who follows you around being vaguely helpful but mostly cryptic and rude'

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

how are you gonna be gay and not like a guy's armpits

there's this really manipulative abuse tactic where ppl will release saline from their eyes and once you start assaulting random strangers you'll start seeing it everywhere

Oh, this? Yeah, it's actually a cursed collar that forces me to speak only in barks. I got it during that time I got isekaied last month and spent two decades in a fantasy world. Yeah they actually put it on me in like year 2 because I never shut up. No one could figure out how to get it off once they rescued me so I eventually developed a mini-language of barking in different tones before gradually figuring out how to bark increasingly well. And then over the course of a decade learning how to bark so perfectly that it's indistinguishable from speaking. So technically I'm still just barking I'm just really good at it. Anyway the collar looks cute, right? I think it goes really well with this dress.

relatedly: probably no one has made greater contributions to Posting than dr roberta bobby

sorry, but could i have another piece of loot? you see *i tenderly look down and caress my belly* i'm raiding for two right now

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.