lynyrd skynyrd clowncar accident

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

hi welcome to my kitchen this is my box that makes things cold and my box that makes things hot and my box that makes things wet and my box that makes things full of EM waves and my box tha

being dana scully would be so funny. you ask your work partner where he’s going and he says “off to water the seeds of doubt” and hangs up on you

The other thing about meeting my wife on this website is I've seen multiple friends today reblog a post about how some mutuals you eventually transition to using their given name and some you never do, and the thing is. The woman I am legally married to is in the latter category.

how to befriend someone. how to text someone. how to talk to someone. how to be normal about social interactions. how to be normal.

As a scientist I find the concept of Cecil freely yapping about Carlos on the radio so funny because if I was in the lab just going about my experiments and then some person on the radio started talking about how hot I am I would get clowned on it by my coworkers beyond belief. Every time I walked into the lab the grad students there would’ve been like “there he is with his perfect hair 😩” and if the centrifuge broke “try asking it to work with your sweet caramel voice 😫” like deadass the lab would be insufferable for months

is that none pizza with left beef

Guy who has only seen none pizza with left beef seeing his second divided pizza order.

honestly the original USDA food pyramid was funny as fuck for recommending 6-11 servings of bread a day. like honestly don't mind if I do

Do threats and punishments make people change their behaviour to the desired? Or does it make them prepare for the punishment? The answer will shock you.