lynyrd skynyrd clowncar accident

There’s something truly exquisite about stories where the real tragedy is the price you paid to stand on top of the world

Hollow victories … sacrificing your humanity on the altar of what you perceive to be the greater good … the loneliness of godhood … regret for the person you used to be … the realisation that there is no way back … *chef’s kiss*

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

“the soft animal of your body”….? thats my hard as fuck werewolf body to you

ok there’s been enough reblogs from enough people on enough various posts of mine that now i need to stand up for the bitches who don’t fuck of the world. people aren’t writing bad smut because of a lack of having sex. they are writing it because a lot of people have very poor visualization skills and forget halfway through what position characters are supposed to be in, or don’t understand what makes a word a good or bad choice, or can’t create compelling dynamics. i promise that even the sexually inactive, by virtue of also existing within the human form, would know that if you’re behind someone you can’t lick their nipple. and i promise that the frequently sexually active are equally prone to using the word “mewled.” i can pretty much guarantee that having a lot of sex and writing good sex scenes are unrelated. do you think your favorite horror authors are cutting people up in their basements. do you think your favorite food critics are michelin chefs. do you think the people blocking cool combat scenes in movies are routinely getting into cage fights. no they just understand how to utilize tone, pacing, momentum, and the tools of film direction, while keeping action tied to character. like believe it or not this is simply a skill like everything else. idk i always think that that point of view shows a lack of understanding of what makes a sex scene work. it removes the craft of it in a way i find short-sighted. i think people are confused about the reason teenagers are writing bad sex scenes. it’s not because they’re not fucking, it’s because they are young and haven’t had the years to hone their writing craft the way someone older has.

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

hi welcome to my kitchen this is my box that makes things cold and my box that makes things hot and my box that makes things wet and my box that makes things full of EM waves and my box tha

being dana scully would be so funny. you ask your work partner where he’s going and he says “off to water the seeds of doubt” and hangs up on you

The other thing about meeting my wife on this website is I've seen multiple friends today reblog a post about how some mutuals you eventually transition to using their given name and some you never do, and the thing is. The woman I am legally married to is in the latter category.

how to befriend someone. how to text someone. how to talk to someone. how to be normal about social interactions. how to be normal.

As a scientist I find the concept of Cecil freely yapping about Carlos on the radio so funny because if I was in the lab just going about my experiments and then some person on the radio started talking about how hot I am I would get clowned on it by my coworkers beyond belief. Every time I walked into the lab the grad students there would’ve been like “there he is with his perfect hair 😩” and if the centrifuge broke “try asking it to work with your sweet caramel voice 😫” like deadass the lab would be insufferable for months