lynyrd skynyrd clowncar accident

best tactic you can steal from therapists to help your loved ones is to give them loving respectful advice based on what they actually need to grow and thrive not on what you need to say to protect the status quo in the relationships you all share together

“if you love something let it go” isn’t just a romantic cliché so divorced from context that it’s almost meaningless, it’s about how if you actually love someone you should want the best for them even if that’s not the thing that will keep them in your life

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

You're obsessed with the rotting bloated corpse. It's like your Jungkook. Embarassing!

Rudolph is one of the only examples of visible bioluminescence in mammals. One of the only other ones is that time we made our weakest cousin swallow a keychain flashlight. Weakest cousin is determined annually by a series of trials

*looking in the mirror* You are not matt johnson. You are a friendly, charming, driven young woman. Not matt johnson. Do not think, "I am matt johnson"

Is it because I was loutish

fascinating how often men expect women to sympathize with their fears of being perceived as or treated like a woman

so much "masculinity" is constructed around the certainty that being gay or being a woman is inherently demeaning. and we're supposed to nod along supportively

"male loneliness crisis" ok so like.....what would happen if you started acting like a better friend to other men in your life? what's stopping you? is it the fear of being perceived as one of your inferiors?

"men aren't allowed to show emotions" ok so like…..what would happen if you started being more emotionally expressive? what's stopping you? is it the fear of being perceived as one of your inferiors?

saying "it's okay. I'm only human" before glancing at a nonexistent audience with a slight smirk and a twinkle in my eye (the twinkle is an asterisk) (when you go to read the footnote attached it just says "in the beautiful garden of his imagination he is also another thing as well")

just got tingles down my spine this is some crazy poetry

hear that everybody I'm tingling spines with my imagination garden

its normal to see people you want to be friends with being friends with each other and get jealous because you can barely even talk to your established friends right

*exists somewhat near people* *sits/stands in the corner to not be in the way* *doesnt talk to people to not be annoying* *leaves without saying bye* why does nobody like me.........