lynyrd skynyrd clowncar accident

having a friend crush is so god damn embarrassing like yeah.... i like how you play toys and i think youre really cool..... and im scared to talk to you........do you wanna..... play toys with me too...... or something...... its whatever if not..... kicks a rock. Fuck my life dude

this doesnt end even when you actually become friends btw. "oh no what if they think im weird and cringe for wanting to hang out with them and they beat me with rocks and make fun of me" DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NEEDS AND ARE A PERSON

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

jack kerouac went on one gayass road trip and now we have to deal with all of this

a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me

like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over

like ha ha i got my spores on you and now you're nicer to yourself

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

instead of “this person made good art so they can’t be a bad person” try looking at it like this: “this person made art so they can’t be a good person”

making a pilgrimage to tumblr & getting conned by a blogger claiming to sell scraps of the shroud of pjackk

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making