lynyrd skynyrd clowncar accident

making a pilgrimage to tumblr & getting conned by a blogger claiming to sell scraps of the shroud of pjackk

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

i come here from my home country of teusday, which is very very far indeed, and my old bones are tired. could i stay at your wednesday for the next 24 hours if you would be so kind?

Let's go play horror movie outside where we run around in the dark and scream each other's names and go oh my god what the fuck is that !!!

Translator's Note: I love you.

i'm not nearly as fit as when i was doing yoga every day due to early pandemic derangement but god damn it i can still touch my toes despite a life time of not being able to do that. everyone if you do nothing else for your skeletomuscular system today work towards touching your toes. at the very least it's an idiotproof way to teach yourself efforts = results

It’s a tony soprano summer

What this means

had a dream i walked up to a food stall and they tried to sell me 3 takoyaki for $130 and i was so mad that i woke myself up before completing the transaction. idiot lost their customer to the waking world lol. charge less next time.