Not my real name but the pen name I shall go by is Jace Liam Howard. I support multiple fandoms and am a fangirl. I have Cerebral Palsy. If you don't know what it is feel free to ask.
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I need people to stop thinking of Dennis Nedry as "That guy who betrayed Jurassic Park and got people killed because he's greedy."
And I need people to start thinking of Dennis Nedry as Jurassic Park's representative of the lowest-bidding contractor. Burnt out under a capitalist boss who hires the cheapest labor he possibly can and demands miracles from them, in an exploitative system that forces people to undersell what they can afford to live by.
Like, in the long run, JP was doomed to fail for myriad reasons. Nedry is not the sole factor in why it went down.
But I need y'all to sit and think about how avoidable all of that immediate carnage would have been if John "We spared no expense!" Hammond had just paid Nedry a fair wage.
This is what the film alludes to with the argument:
Nedry: You can run this whole park from this room with minimal staff for up to 3 days. You think that kind of automation is easy? Or cheap? You know anybody who can network 8 connection machines and debug 2 million lines of code for what I bid for this job? Because if he can I'd like to see him try.
Hammond: I'm sorry about your financial problems, Dennis, I really am, but they are your problems.
Nedry: Oh, you're right, John, you're absolutely right. You know, everything's my problem.
Hammond: I will not get drawn into another financial debate with you, Dennis. I really will not!
Nedry: There'd be hardly any debate at all.
Hammond: I don't blame people for their mistakes. But I do ask that they pay for them.
Nedry: Thanks, Dad.
Nedry, as he points out, was hired as a lowest-bidding contractor. The job was simply to design a module for record-keeping. That was all they paid him for.
But then Hammond and InGen kept adding another thing and another thing and another thing, none of which were in the original contract. And when he refused, the would threaten to write his other clients and tell them he's unreliable and that they should cancel their contracts with him.
By this method, InGen kept extorting additional labor out of Nedry on top of the contract he'd completed. Additional unpaid labor.
Yeah, he wasn't actually getting paid to come out to the island and debug their systems; They were just making him do it under the original contract because they had already made him program a bunch of different systems in the dark without any idea of how they should fit together, and now those systems weren't working properly.
So when Dodgson offered him $1.5 million to steal some embyros, he jumped at the offer.
If everything had gone according to plan, Nedry would have filled up that can with the embyros and taken them to the dock. There, he'd pass the embryos off to Dodgson's man waiting there and hurry back to his desk. Then he'd turn all the systems back and go "Whew, system's finished debugging! Everything's looking good."
But he got mauled to death on his way to the dock and everything escalated from there.
i know in my heart of hearts that within the pokémon universe it’s all the really cute popular marketable pokémon that have the most irresponsible trainers. small dog syndrome ramped up to a whole new level. that is not a toy that is a lifelong commitment. ma’am please keep your untrained sylveon in its pokéball inside the store. no that is not a service pokémon it wouldn’t be using moonblast on everything if it was
sir! sir!!! your pikachu is decimating the ducklett population at the pond and you aren’t even looking! you are NOT ash ketchum you are NOT gonna catch ‘em all because that involves trade evolutions and you have NO friends!!!
ok literally. that palafinstagram mom who posts pictures of her rowlet not understanding it’s displaying distress behaviors making fun of the cool person whose best friend is a solosis or rellor or unown letter f
if one more middle aged mom tells me that i should’ve kept my raichu a pikachu because ‘she’s much cuter that way’ i’m sending out my full team and throwing hands right there in the starbucks
@polarspaz woe, noodles be upon ye! Okay but seriously Noodle Leon is way too fun to me, I already love dragons and half of my various notebooks are full of noodle dragon doodles. And I also have no self control so tada~
...
Frankly, the only reason Leon picks up the amulet is because of the Merchant. The man had already proven he was willing to pay well for any shiny baubles Leon found, which he occasionally came across while searching the village—and now the castle—for ammunition, herbs or whatever stupid puzzle piece he needed.
Speaking of stupid puzzle pieces…
Leon pries the replica sword from the statue’s grasp, wrinkling his nose as he notices the long-dried blood staining its tip. Salazar really wanted to go for realism, huh?
“What’s that for?” Ashley asks behind him, and he turns to look at her, bloodied sword in hand.
Leon shrugs. “It’s just a replica. Only a couple uses for it.” Like to finish a wall mural with three other swords. Once the last sword is in place and the door clicks open, Leon glances around the little treasury, eyeing the various gems and trinkets. He considers for only a moment, then gives a mental shrug and starts stuffing some smaller items in his extra pockets.
“…What are you doing?” Ashley asks as he loots the place.
Leon nods his head toward the opulence around them, golden framed paintings and countless other signs of wealth. “I think he’s got enough, don’t you?” Ashley blinks but then nods hesitantly, and Leon chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’s not for me. The Merchant that’s been around pays well for this stuff.”
The blue jade pendant he snags is nothing special. It’s just another shiny necklace Leon shoves in his pocket to barter with the Merchant later.
Once Leon’s filled his pockets, he and Ashley make their way back to the atrium where Salazar first showed his ugly face. The bodies of the zealots are conspicuously absent. Once back on the main floor, Leon looks around, assessing their route. Luis said to meet in the courtyard so if they keep heading straight through, they should—
“Uh, Leon?”
The mildly alarmed tone in Ashley’s voice has Leon snapping his head around, grip tightening on his handgun. But there’s no hostiles he can see, and instead Ashley’s gaze is fixed on… him? Leon frowns at her, opening his mouth to ask what’s wrong, but Ashley beats him to it.
“Leon, your bag, it’s glowing?!”
Leon blinks, confused and a little alarmed as he drops his gaze to his belt, half expecting to see a grenade or flashbang about to detonate. Instead, he sees a pale glow spilling from one of his bags. Frowning, Leon holsters his gun and digs a hand into the pouch in question, withdrawing it. One of the baubles he picked up earlier from the treasury, a small blue jade pendant, is flickering softly.
“What…?” Leon mutters quietly. Some kind of chemical reaction? (He hopes, anyway. Otherwise, a blue glow probably means radiation, in which case Leon is fucked.) But before Leon can figure out what’s wrong with the odd pendant, he realizes he has much bigger problems. That being, his hand.
Before his eyes, Leon’s fingernails blacken and harden, lengthening into something resembling talons. And from his now-clawed fingertips, something dark ripples over Leon’s skin, climbing his hands.
“Fuck–!” Leon chokes out. He’s lost control of the muscles of his hand already, joints locked around the pendant. Shit, shit, shit! Fucking hell, Luis’ plaga is taking him over already?! Leon snaps his eyes up to Ashley, unable to contain the panic he knows is creeping into his voice. “Ashley, RUN!”
The young woman stumbles back as Leon turns and races as far from her as he can while he can still control his limbs. He doesn’t get very far, his legs buckling under him as something in his back snaps. Leon hisses, curling on his side as his blood burns. There’s a writhing along his spine, what can only be the plaga twisting along his vertebrae. Fuck, he can’t let himself attack Ashley, he can’t—
Leon tries to claw himself forward a little further, but instead of moving, his body slides out of place. Suddenly Leon is aware that there is more of him than there was a few moments ago. Something is worming its way from his lower back. Something is taking both sides of his spine and pulling, stretching him like taffy. Leon writhes, pain and alien sensation filling his brain, but distantly aware there is so much more of him.
There is something thrashing past his feet, his stomach is too far from his shoulders, his neck is twisted like a corkscrew.
When he slams his head against the stone floor, he feels the impact rattle through a face that is too long to be human. When his jaw splits open, unable to hold back an agonized cry, a thick tongue runs past razor sharp fangs.
Finally, it stops, leaving Leon panting on the floor, fear clogging his throat. He’s all too aware of his alien body, far far too much of him sprawled over stone. Ashley’s still here. He’s a danger to her. He has to either take care of himself or get away or something—
“Leon?”
Leon flinches at the sound of Ashley’s voice, squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to shuffle away. “Nnnno, ssssstay away, Assshhley—” His warning is mixed with hisses and growls, his movements jerking and uncoordinated. Leon tries to shove himself backward, but there is too much between his limbs. He can’t do much more than wriggle in place. Shit, shit, shit—
Beneath his labored breathing, Leon’s aware that Ashley hasn’t said anything more, and he can’t hear her footsteps approaching. Good. But, he still needs to put more space between himself and her before he loses all lucidity.
Leon risks cracking an eye open. He’s not sure what he expects to see—perhaps grotesque twisted flesh, insectoid carapace, or even something millipede-esque considering how much spine he seems to have. What he’s definitely not expecting however, is scales. Blue scales, specifically, and thick blond fur.
And past that, Ashley’s mildly frightened but mostly awed—not horrified, awed—expression.
Leon blinks and tries to leverage himself onto his hands and knees. (Because if Ashley’s not going to run, Leon’s just going to have to do it himself.) And while Leon can successfully control his limbs, he’s not sure what’s going on… between them. Leon blinks as he watches the blue mass shift and cranes his neck up to try and see and oh shit—
His head lurches upward, neck far far far too long. Suddenly, Leon’s… well, he’s not standing, that’s for sure, but his head is at standing height. Leon swallows back a sudden wave of nausea and vertigo, blinking as he traces the serpentine blue and gold shape sprawled over the stone floor. It resembles a snake, with smooth blue dorsal scales, but the illusion is swiftly broken by the blonde fur that lines the spine all the way to the tail tip. Tracing it back up… Leon’s pants and belts are caught around one set of legs, his shirt around the other set, and then he traces the blue all the way back up until he can’t look down any further.
He’s… a giant snake. If a snake was nearly forty feet long, had a body the diameter of a human torso, a mane of hair running along its body, and legs.
“What the fuck—” Leon mutters quietly, and distantly notes: Oh hey! He can still talk. Small victories. With his head up like this, Leon can watch as he tries to move, only for his very very very long body to respond with all the grace of a wet, limp noodle.
“Leon, you okay?”
Leon’s head snaps over to look at Ashley, who is slowly approaching. Leon snarls, only to feel his lips feel back from too-long teeth and promptly flinch. Leon shakes his head, nausea climbing his throat as his neck sways side-to-side. “Ashley, you need to get out of here, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll stay sane.”
Instead of running, Ashley squints at him. There’s something sparkling in her eyes. “Leon… you’re a dragon.”
Leon blinks. “I’m a what.”
“Dragon.”
Leon looks down at himself. “…I thought dragons were supposed to have wings?”
“Eh, only some of them,” Ashley says, and Leon jumps slightly. Somehow she’s managed to sneak right up to him. He cranes his head back to look down at her, and she grins. “Need help?”
“You should run,” Leon repeats.
Ashley shakes her head, eyes gleaming with excitement. “Heck no, I am not missing my one chance to experience a dragon.” Internally, Leon despairs, now becoming increasingly convinced his charge has the self preservation instincts of a lemming. Or at least, she does when faced with something ‘cool’.
“Now, let’s get you up.” Before Leon can protest otherwise, Ashley has latched her arms behind his head and starts pulling him forward. Leon can do little more than bear it, his neck stretching out as he follows her. Then, it gets to its limit and he has to push himself onto his hands, then his elongated back, then his feet…
Finally, Leon stands on four shaky limbs, stretched out impossibly long across the atrium. Carefully, he curls in on himself, spine folding and curving over until he’s sat back on his new tail—fuck, he has a tail—and haunches. His back curves like an S, and then his neck completes its own curve.
Leon stares at his taloned hands and then beyond them to Ashley who, for a girl who has been kidnapped, is looking like Christmas came early. Leon groans, attempting to rub his face only to be reminded he now has a snout instead. Goddamnit. “Ashley, I’m literally a giant noodle, can you please stop looking so excited?”
“No,” Ashley says. “Now, if the plaga is what turned you into a dragon, I take back what I said. I wanna be a dragon.”
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Hanahaki disease is a psychosomatic illness. It's a thing that your body does in response to stress over constantly repressing/concealing your feelings in settings with high background magic. It's like you've been ignoring pain for a long time and suddenly your vision starts going dark, because your affected body is just YANKING on random alerts trying to get you to PAY ATTENTION there is a PROBLEM. Yes the flowers do really exist. So do non-magical psychosomatic symptoms. The flowers aren't special.
This does of course open up the trope to options for non-romantic concealed feelings. Which I think is great. There is something viscerally satisfying about the person who seems so outwardly chipper coughing and hacking and spitting up Depression Flowers so now everyone has to know they're hurting. Isn't there?
there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much
i don't care if it's nazis, mormons, or a bunch of misguided autistic people. if anyone ever tries to tell you your soul is from another planet and you're actually part of the class of impressive people that secretly did everything cool in the world but is now extinct and lives on through your broken genome, you RUN. YOU WILL RUN AWAY. YOU WILL SPRINT FULL SPEED AWAY FROM THAT.
grabs you by the shoulders listen. listen to my words. i understand the urge to make fanfiction about yourself and to find a reality in which you're super awesome and great and everyone who hates you is wrong and dumb. i get it. you're better than that. you can love yourself without putting other people down, dehumanizing and generalizing, and retaliating against your oppressors.
there's no NPCs. there's no aliens coming to save us. we're not the next step in human evolution. our hyperconnected nervous systems give us terrible sensory overwhelm more often than they make us geniuses. neurotypical people are sentient, conscious, aware people who are capable of understanding you. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different.
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This is the last entry. Thank you Kodansha for hiring me for this project!! ✌️ It was fun and I challenged myself with some of the poses, perspectives, and character designs.
random but here is a recipe for cold peanut noodles that you can make during hot weather because i just ate this and had a fantastic time
2tbsp of peanut butter. a splash of rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, maple syrup. some chili flakes, some sesame seeds. a splash of water to thin it out. now you put in your noodles (cooled!!!! boiled and rinsed so they’re cold!!) and then some chopped up cucumber or carrot or avocado or cabbage or any crunchy vegetable. i just used cucumber
you can also put in lime juice or herbs or sriracha or grated garlic/ginger or anything like that; tofu/tempe/meat for more protein etc. noodle wise this can be ramen soba udon whatever, i used soba. enjoy homies
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