Candy Cane Lesbian

The idea of them adding rain and Dr Grace immediately disliking it and going inside is just so tasty. On an animal level the biodome team are simply not pleased that he displays an aversive response!! AND YET this is precisely the whole deal with rain... even if they know that and the experience coordinator appreciates the extra tool to encourage him to move through different areas and spend his time in different places... it's just inarguably annoying to see Dr Grace squint and hunch in your PRECIOUS RAIN.

The next doctor who should be a dog (golden retriever) and hold his sonic screwdriver (it looks like a bone) in his mouth and he still goes on adventures in the tardis (all the buttons look like dog toys) and he wears a dumb collar that gives him an old fashioned robot voice so he can monologue about time and space and tragedy but he is also a dog so the cybermen would throw a ball and he would go after it

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

it was the goat blame the goat

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.