Nothing is real

Ma'am this is the space restaurant we only serve bumpy fruit and severed tentacle

that's fine can i get a glass of something bright blue that's bubbling so violently it'd be impossible to take a sip. extra dry ice on the side

[id: two men holding the halves of an amethyst geode, smiling. the geode is heart shaped, and both men are smiling. /end id]

babe are you ok you reblogged the two men holding the heart geode again

They found love between a rock and a hard place

listening to music i listened to when i was 14 makes me realise im still the same person but taller & with a rare esoteric wisdom that can only be gained through suffering

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

really fucking irritating how many people think theyve invented blistering new social commentary by being like "what if a kink... forms because of trauma and social violence" without ever asking that same question about the sexual desires and practices that they consider normal and therefore natural and therefore not in need of explanation or justification

"oh, you feel more desirable when you're wearing fancy and/or skimpy underwear? don't you realize thats because of classism and patriarchal beauty standards? you dont need lingerie, you need therapy. sign my petition to make wearing two-piece bathing suits in the presence of minors a felony because the people at the pool didn't consent to be part of your misogyny fetish so if you think about it you're really assaulting those kids"

OK, fine, the Brits can take this one W for once.

Father Jones explained that his "advice does not contradict the Bible's eighth commandment because God's love for the poor and despised outweighs the property rights of the rich."

rare occurence: tfw a christian seems to have read the same book I did

Funniest bit: OP, who is deactivated, made this post expecting people to side with the corporations

#i'm losing my SHIT#would you like to not see a dog?#it's brown Thank you, @dreamwaffles, that's it EXACTLY 😂

being the token horror movie guy in the family is so hard. what do you mean you dont wanna watch the having a bad time movie? What? What do you mean its scary?

It's a heavy burden but someone has to do it

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright