my ultimate sexual fantasy is to enjoy life

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

it’s so hard being awake in this economy

Bro this coffee cake is lowkey cumming in my ass right now

I don't think so

*getting really defensive* I’m literally getting cummed in by it right now

saying 'damn that kinda looks like piss lol' about a crystal clear bottle of water as a subtle flex on my hydration levels

per my last desperate howl at the heavens,

I used to be 21 but now I'm 24. so you can understand why I'm so freaked out

buddy I was in this situation and then next thing I knew I was 27. watch out man

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one