haw yee fuckos

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

It just keeps going

if Noah Kahan isn’t on the Sotr soundtrack I’m gonna KILL everyone in the theater and then MYSELF

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

Writing a play right now where the main character is an antique gun collector. About 50 guns are hung on the wall in the first act and they all need to be fired by the third.

Final act is just a massive gun fight

Or a massive single volley.

Or the 1812 Overture.

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

I once accidentally filled in a form using my internet name, went "that's not right", realised I didn't remember my legal name, panicked, and started filling it in with the names of everyone in my lab in order until I stumbled on the name that I recognised as being used for me.

i once was filling out a form and just fuckin stared at the spot for my last name for 5 minutes trying to remember

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

the archeron sisters act that way because they were neglected. feyre rejects proper care because she was neglected. nesta craves princess treatment because she was neglected. elain carefully curated a version of herself that she thinks will earn affection because she was neglected. they were all neglected.

phone in bed can range from comforting to mundane but phone in parked car will have you feeling like you've never done anything right in your entire life

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍