All tuckered out

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

i never get a cannot reblog error because the people who have me blocked arent the people who make good posts

I WAITED 10 SECONDS FOR THE GIF TO LOAD AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED

does anyone know how to get what you want when you're the type of person who avoids everything

Be proactive and don’t procrastinate. You need to set yourself real obtainable small goals leading up to the thing you want, not jumping to the top. Eliminate what stops you (for example, too much screen time scrolling). Also, discernment on the situation and prayer to God are the key!!

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

The fact that the KKK, who hated Catholics as well as Blacks, Jews, immigrants, and anyone else they deemed as too “other,” stole outfit ideas from Spanish Catholic processional traditions is just…. Well I wonder how many of them realized the insane irony

I feel like I make some variant on this post once every two weeks, which should tell you how well the job hunt's going.

Where's "crime scene cleanup technician" (recommendation that Indeed actually gave me one time)

Don't forget AI trainer