Wizard101 Trash

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

Tim getting questioned by his school for having bruises (canon) + Tim wearing makeup to cover his bruises (canon) + tim being very popular in the schools he went to (canon) = Tim accidentally starting a boys wearing makeup too trend at his school during peak 90’s/early 00’s (not canon but plausible and will piss off Chuck Dixon so it’s real to me 🙂‍↕️)

Several times on here I've seen the take "I know local theater is bad and cringey, but you have to support it anyway!" And while I understand what they're getting at, I'm always like, why do you assume it's going to be "bad" just because the artists are members of your own community? I just saw a local production of The Importance of Being Earnest and it was HILARIOUS. Everyone was DELIGHTFULLY funny and we thoroughly enjoyed it! There have been so many times I've been greatly moved by "amateur" or student art, and if you can't allow yourself to appreciate anything but "the Best" (and who decides what "the Best" is anyway? This production of "Earnest" was way funnier than the version that Judy Dench and Rupert Everett were in, as deservedly "famous" as they might be) then you are just being a joyless snob. There's beauty and talent all around you. And if that makes me "easy to please," then well... That means I'm pleased more often! And why should I want to apologize for that?

#see‚ it's not about eating your vegetables or pityfucking the local art scene #it's about making the grave mistake of believing yourself to be past surprise. #in my old age i have seen too many outstanding (or outstandingly ambitious) works by unknown artists #to presume which venue i will be seated at the next time i see a lifechangingly good performance #if you wanna be a prick and commodify it yeah sure i guess it IS gambling money and time you'd otherwise use on DoorDash and Phone in Bed #but i don't think that's any way to live life. incuriosity is weak as hell. neither you nor your art will survive the winter (tags via @deadpanwalking)

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

rocky's crew dying from radiation exposure, something humans go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of and ryland's crew dying in their "sleep" with nobody watching, something eridians go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of. cool book that is easy to read through your tears.

starting a new fuck/marry/kill called aro/crack/attack where you take three characters and decide who you're making aromantic, whose egg you're cracking, and who you're doing grievous bodily harm

do you guys wanna see the most perfectest png of my cat

ohhhhhh bubby from orange cats

WHATS HE DOING UP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all making jokes about Zuko working at the tea shop as firelord, and how humble he is towards his servants. But what if a diplomat from the earth kingdom shows up one day and catches Zuko in a more casual outfit while being ushered through the palace. The diplomat mentions something about how Lee must be very good at making tea if he was sent all the way to the fire nation and asks to be served during the meeting. Not one to turn down an offer Zuko obliges and disappears off into the kitchen. The diplomat sits down at the meeting table, awaiting the arrival of the firelord when his tea arrives. He pours a cup for everyone sat around the table including the firelord. The diplomat inquiries when the firelord will be joining, to which Zuko responds by sitting in the throne at the head of the table.

I will always take the cat's side. "she's drooling on me" you're so lucky "he always wants to be petted" then pet him "he's mad I won't let him on my desk" make room on your desk for him. I am your cat's defense lawyer and the cat is always innocent on the grounds of them being A Little Kitty Cat.

Watching Nate take his first sip of alcohol since he got sober in the bottle job KILLS ME, the absolute silence from everyone and understanding what this will do for him, Nate immediately taking an extra sip right after and trying to hide it from eliot

he's fighting a beautiful buff lady. her shirt gets ripped and she's left in her slutty little tank top. "come on," you think. "why is the woman always wearing sexier things than her male counterparts." but fear not. now HE takes off his shirt and he's left in HIS slutty little tank top. equality. and then they kiss

There is not a shred of doubt in my mind that somewhere in Ankh-Morpork, Sam Vimes has a drag king impersonater