But didn’t know it’ll be this soon

So, this is how it feels like

To be left without a word

To be put on the side

Have you forgotten?

Or are you just choosing not to reach out?

Every time I wanted to reach you

I hold back

I tell myself, “no”

Because I shouldn’t be pushing myself towards someone

But, I miss you

And I hope you feel the same too.

Oh, to be loved

To be known in ways you didn’t expect

To notice your simple details

To be loved in ways you didn’t imagine

Not quite sure whether it’s your intentional love

Or maybe you’re just really like this

You are this person with anyone else

But this person

Makes me feel loved

And I appreciate every gesture

Even when sooner, it will fade. 

--gg

So this is how it feels like -

to be accompanied way back home

walking with someone on a very late night though I told you I can be alone,

to smile while holding my phone

waiting for your reply which more often than not makes me laugh,

to be so true that I can get mad

arguing with what you said but you still being patient with my heated emotions,

to be corrected in a conversation

feeling safe to be imperfect without the need to explain though I still do explain,

to sleep on someone’s message

telling stories I’m not sure why we’re talking about but we share nonetheless,

to wake up on the same person’s message

an indirect welcoming of the morning and an indirect assurance of “I’m still here,”

So this is how it feels like 

to have someone yet you’re unsure where you stand in their life,

to have someone not knowing when they’ll say goodbye.

-gg

I have upcoming exams, pending deadlines, things to study and catch up on; and I can’t even function well. It’s hard to get up in the morning when all I want is to curl on my bed and hide inside the blanket while crying. It’s even harder to sleep at night when you know you should be finishing your tasks but you can’t, and you end up contemplating your life decisions. How do they who came before me survived this repetitive process of grinding? 

It’s already late at night and I decided to catch some air in the balcony before studying for an exam tomorrow. As I lifted my chin up and stretched my arms, I saw the countless number of stars shining so bright in the sky. They were like glitters spread throughout the canvas of sky. It’s my first time after a while seeing the night-sky  full of stars like that. I looked for Orion, Big and Little Dipper, and Cassiopeia. It was so relaxing and heartwarming to look at those seemingly little luminous bodies. As I watched them share their light to this world, I remembered you. I can’t help but to think of you. What would you say if I message you this time just to tell you that the sky is beautiful and full of stars, you should take a look? Years before, I didn’t know what crossed my mind - maybe, it was because I was so young back then. We were talking about a different thing but I suddenly sent you a message saying, “Hey, the sky is full of stars, it’s beautiful. Quickly, take a look.” I didn’t know that I just associated you with something that will be part of me forever. Tonight. I was reminded of the good old days - the time when we were so young - the time when things aren’t as complicated. I already convinced myself that I am completely over my feelings for you. It’s just that memories with people make us feel the same emotions we felt during those past moments. Tonight, I looked at the stars - and I remembered you. 

Today, I got rejected from a scholarship program to pursue medicine at the university that I really want. My heart is broken. I have been anxious about this even before the results came out. My mind keeps on thinking, “Okay, I got accepted to the university, but what about the tuition? I could not afford the tuition!” The reality of not being financially capable hits me hard.  But I will try again. And if I still fail to find a scholarship, I will try again. That’s what I should do - try and try again. I’m still a bit anxious about it but I am choosing to walk in faith and not in fear. 

-gg

Hi! I would like to share with you my learnings from a virtual life coaching I attended. Hope it helps you. :))

EXCELLENCE

1. Excellence is not perfection, rather the ability to see what is appropriate and putting your best effort in it.

It is important to determine what is appropriate in every situation.

Excellence is an attitude of giving your best in the most appropriate manner.

Everyone can be excellent but it is a choice we make.

Excellence has a great enemy - mediocrity (mediocrity is : doing things half-heartedly; it is compromising standards)

The sad truth is that many people choose to be mediocre, simply because it's easier.

Though many enjoy the results of excellence, few people strive for it themselves because of the come-what-may mentality.

Most of the times we assume that things will turn out the way it should be without us doing anything. This leads to us not giving our all and it is reflected in our work.

Who you are will affect who you attract. Excellence attracts excellence just like mediocrity attracts mediocrity.

Instead of making fun of excellence, we should appreciate it.

Ask ourselves, "what can I learn from excellent people and how can I apply it in my life?"

2. Excellence is being a good steward.

Excellence is doing the best I can with what I have.

Look at what you have and the situation you are in, then make the most out of it. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, find ways to make things work and make the best out of what you have.

It's not about how much we have but how we use it.

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

Big or small tasks, still do it excellently.

3. Excellence is becoming the better version of yourself.

Excellence is not a destination but a journey of discovering.

Excellent people look forward to streatching out theirselves through learning from other people and from different situations.

You will still commit mistakes, but when mistakes come, you will learn from it and grow.

Those who take the journey of excellence discover that while it is not easy it is very rewarding.

4. Excellence is rewarding.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

There are times that instead of being yourself,  you fight against yourself. Most of the times and for many people, it’s just hard to be who you truly are. Your awareness of your not so good character, the society’s standards, other people’s acceptance, your hurtful past - these are just some of the reasons why we are afraid of unleashing the real us.

Do you hate yourself? Are you afraid of what they might think? Are you not sure of who you really are?