It's to scream out my frustration

One thing I see a lot is people suggesting canes as a catch-all mobility aid for everyone who has mobility issues. Canes are not for weight bearing! If you use a cane for heavy weight bearing long term, you will hurt your wrists and back! Canes are for balance. There are also different types of canes, but someone else can probably explain those better than I can.

A crutch/pair of crutches is better for bearing weight, particularly forearm/support crutches if you're going to be using them a lot and don't want to strain your wrists, or platform crutches if you don't have a lot of arm strength.

Walkers/rollators are good for if you do have arm and hand strength and need a place to sit down or need to carry a lot with you, but very very bad if you can't weight bear well with your arms or pull the brakes easily. You will often need to be able to use your foot to maneuver it over a slight lip, too. If you can't do all of those things you will hurt yourself.

Wheelchairs are a whole lot more complicated and I don't feel qualified to speak on that (I've only ever used improperly fitted chairs, and have suffered permanent damage because of it).

Mobility scooters are great for going outside alone if you don't have the arm strength for a manual chair, as they can handle terrain that an motorised wheelchair often can't, but are harder to maneuver in small spaces (especially bulky class 3 scooters, which aren't designed for indoor use at all) and usually aren't suitable for full time use. If you need more support they most likely won't be suitable either, the seats are usually not designed with support for people who cannot hold themselves upright and generally do not have a seatbelt by default. I'm working on a proper guide for this and will hopefully post it soon!

There's also deconditioning to keep in mind, which is very important to think about if you aren't doing physiotherapy. You also need to consider things like pressure sores, which you will be especially prone to in seated mobility aids if you aren't able to reposition yourself regularly or have loss of sensation in or awareness of any part of your body.

[Image ID: Lord Farquaad looking regretful as he says "Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make." /end]

“But disabled people are already dying.”

..and that my friends is what psychosomatic means! It's when your body realises just pain doesn't get your attention anymore, so it manifests in different ways to tell you something is wrong. Yes, technically it's in your head, because your head is telling you something is wrong with your body.

I hate being in pain, sure, but I hate even more than it stops me. That it limits me, that I have to stop what I am doing while it send me to bed, clutching at heat packs and feeling deeply unfulfilled and frustrated.

Bad days suck, but when it builds into a bad week or month or whatever… That frustration just gets compacted and you can feel wound tighter and so angry but with nothing to really do about it except hope you get angry enough to cry and hopefully get some catharsis.

you do not need to be in constant pain to own a cane.

folding canes have a clasp or band to keep them folded. losing the band is a pain in the ass.

you will get dirty looks

it does not matter what age you are. you will get dirty looks.

you have to hold it in the opposite hand as the disabled leg. this is fortunate, as I am right handed, so i hold it in my left hand to support my right leg.

people will try to steal your cane from you.

when standing still, I hold it in my right hand unless i need to do something right handedly. this does not work as well as i thought it would.

being visibly physically disabled is difficult. having a mobility aid will help with pain and movement, but some people don't get them because visible disability is treated with disgust.

if someone meets you for the first time, and you don't have your cane, then they will like you more, but they will not believe you are actually disabled.

if someone meets you for the first time, and you have your cane, they will not treat you the same.

the majority of other cane and mobility aid users I have met are homeless. I live close to a big city.

People do not want to see you being disabled.

you will not hear of the benefits of using a cane from anyone who does not use a cane.

no one will prepare you for the world of being visibly physically disabled. however bad you think we have it is usually not from the disability at all. I can deal with pain and I can deal with an indisposed left hand.

the hardest part of being disabled is the fact that no one will care until you make them care.

the disabled seats on trains are a suggestion

the disabled seats on buses are a suggestion.

you will have a different experience with using a cane than I have had.

your hand will become tired. you are using it as a leg.

your cane is legally a part of your body. this will not stop some people.

you are not your disability. but it will affect you.

i love you

theres always an invisible someone who has it worse. that person will not be affected or offended by your use of a cane. take the damn ibuprofen. put the folded cane in your bag. ask your friends for help. gd knows they need help sometimes too.

you will have to learn that things will be impossible to you. you may not run as fast anymore. you may not become a skater, like you always wanted to be. you may be left behind when everyone else runs ahead.

you deserve better.

your cane handle gets dirty. wash it.

some days pain is worse. some days you will feel it the moment you wake up.

no one deserves pain. the human condition is not to suffer. we deserve better. we deserve to be loved and not tolerated. we deserve to be seen better than from the corners of eyes. we deserve to be heard better than an afterthought at a meeting.