my favorite tidbit about Kung Fu Panda is that China saw it and was like "how the fuck did we not think of this before"

Now China has no choice but to make an animated western about a bald eagle that learns to shoot also still featuring Jack Black

if you don’t think this is fucking rad then get out of my face

Actually me to children

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

Oh, that horse is like “trot trot trot, my human has gotten ahead of me! ZOOM! trot trot” and going around to look to look at things. The dog is just living for this!

now give the horse rollerblades

so last night i dreamt that werner herzog produced this documentary called ‘one week as snail’, and legit it was just herzog following a single snail around this little town, commenting on everything it did and coming up with this detailed philosophy of a snail. he didn’t give it a name because he believed snails had no concept of such things. and then it was like: ‘here this snail eats a bit of cabbage, not knowing its source or the people who picked it. this snail does not understand the supply and demand chain. it does what it wants, oblivious to the suffering of others.’

[image description: werner herzog speaking with captions that have been edited to say “I would like to see the snail documentary”]

the cake says 3 but there are at least 6 rats pictured

they are all brothers and they are all turning 3