I mean, yea you don't have to deal with romance, that's true. Thus the whole weird mind games people play with each other in pursuit of allo relationships don't really affect us.

But instead you have to deal with the crushing realisation that you'll never be anyone's priority. Ever.

Maybe you were lucky enough to have parents that cared for you. They make you their priority. But statistically speaking, they'll die much sooner than you. So many of us who have this type of love, well... It's limited and it only lives as long as our parents do.

Maybe you have siblings. Again... They go off to get married, have kids, a job, a house... A life without you in it, because that stage of their lives is over.

You have friends. First in school. They fade when you join different colleges. Then college. They fade once they get their degree. Roommates... They have their own goals and significant others they wish to build a life with.

At the end of the day, you're just you. And you don't have what they have or want what they want. The value you put on friendship... It's not the value they put in it. It just isn't it. You're an afterthought to them, not a main concern.

When you're aroace and you don't want children either. You basically have to come to terms with being enough for yourself, because you'll never be enough for others. You don't have as much value as just a friend as they do to you.

I too want someone to go home to. I want someone I can hug and cry with. Someone I can watch series with. Cook with on a sunday. Go to walks in the night market. Who I can sing silly songs with. But I have to swallow that desire. Because I know it's not gonna happen.

So many aroace people have tried in the past to find qprs, and were told by people "I'm okay with you being aroace". Only to be forced and manipulated into uncomfortable and undesirable situations. Because no, most people *are not* okay with us being aroace. And they get into relationships with us, thinking they're the one that's gonna change us, the one that's gonna "fix" us. But they just hurt us instead. And remind us that the world has very little space for us.

So many of us stop even trying.