Our Alterous Experience!

Alterous! Aka Alterous Attraction is a type of attraction that does not fit within the boundaries of strictly romantic or platonic labels. For some it may be completely non romantic and non platonic but a separate kind of love within the larger spectrum. It’s kinda like the nonbinary/agender spectrum of attraction.

Sometimes alterous attraction can be very platonic/friendship based where they may never want to partner with whoever the user feels the feelings towards. They may also not want to be physically affectionate, or they may want to very physically affectionate. (I.e. someone may be aro allosexual and grow a strong bond with someone that is more than friends but definitely not romantic). That being said there are definitely QPR’s that are alterous and that’s apart of their queerplatonic attraction.

Sometimes alterous attraction can be very “romantic” or partnering based. Wanting to go on dates, being very physically affectionate (preferring hugs, kisses, cuddles, sex), investing in a home together, possibly having kids together, getting tax benefits off of each other.

Of course this is a veryyyyyyy like. rigid way to view relationships. Like platonic is just One Thing and romantic is just One Thing. you could do either of these things in whatever relationship you are in. The main defining feature is that the feelings are not as simple as being able to be prescribed to “platonic” or “romantic” labels. It may have bits and pieces of one of those things, it may have a bit of everything and more. it may have no platonic or romance involved. And this is without even including polyamorous alterous experiences. But those are just as vast as well!!

But scrolling here it finally made sense. Put into words what I felt was “wrong” with me (i know it’s not wrong but I’ve never known how else to word it). I love him like one does a friend but so much more at the same time. And that’s okay.

Im so glad I found this blog because I finally know what’s so different now.

It just got released and it really does explain my feelings lol

I find it INTEGRAL to emphasize how being allo doesn’t discredit your relationship with alterous feelings or other such things. you don’t have to be “queer enough” to be heard or experiencing these things and i hope while some people may be picky, or antsy, i am very frankly pro allo people questioning these things and exploring these feelings cause even if they don’t identify with what’s happening, they find better understanding of themself. but i find it soooo affirming and helpful and interesting to hear from allo’s with alterous experiences because ive dated allos and aspecs and etc etc. but to hear how it coincides or is experienced individually is so fascinating. i myself have been basking in love i have that is so far beyond romantic or platonic but such strong compassion and care and wanting to do my best while allowing myself to heal. thank you for sending this in.