honestly the thing is no matter what I will ultimately do, whether it is detransitioning (and to what extent) or not, whether I will call myself just feminist,radfem, marxfem or whatever is something I can not foresee,just as I never saw myself 5 years ago in the position I am now. Maybe I will have gone back to using my birth name and will have changed legal documents and whatnot. Maybe I will stay as I am now - but acknowledge my femaleness nonetheless.
What I do think right now is that the trans movement as a whole is at a massive crossroads and needs a reality check and not just mindless validation at the cost of hurting women but realism.
I personally do believe that sex dysphoria does exist and transition can, I want to emphasize the word CAN, canbe a valid treatment. But to deny any of the facts of sex based oppression that women face and to be like 'dont question the science' validation cult bs while the science is still being evaluated and is subject to change is stupid and the fact that even that can already get you labeled transphobic and whatnot aggravates me. I personally do not think children should access medical treatment and lockdown coming outs have especially shown me how there needs to be a system to make sure people really explore and don't just make hasty decisions (as someone from Germany it was shocking for me to read how easily Americans can access hrt or surgeries while also intentionally being kept in the dark about its effects,here it is slowly being loosened which I dislike but it is much more rigorous here). I think prisons and sports are extremely important subjects, and not just sidelines. I think it is important to center women's feelings in these aspects and not keep them unsafe just to validate some feelsies.
To suppress any conversation,any debate on the topic of transgender because of fears of "hurt" (speaking from personal experience here, in the local left scene there was a debate of exactly that) to see if there is a way to find common ground instead of just hurling insults (which funnily enough,those who accused the speaker of transphobia did,they just hurled insults and accusations)
Ultimately,in an ideal society that we have not yet achieved, the patriarchy and as one of the forms of it gender (which I understand a system of oppression of women) does not exist. Bodies will be appreciated in their natural form. But the thing is,we are not there yet. The world is yet subject to change and I have a feeling the next few years will be crucial.
I don't know if I will look back at this in the future and think "Jesus was I naive". I am still growing and learning.
What I am thinking right now is "Jesus fuck please sleep"
