Literal Trash I Am

[ID: Laura Jane Grace grinning and burning her birth certificate live on stage /end ID]

god this will always be such a huge mood

After a legal name change I believe you get a new one

i forgot to add tho, i do highly recommend Not burning your old legal docs (except like. old credit cards obviously) in case of identity theft or a system not being updated.

Hey rb this!!!

@chitratxt​

i’d follow him to hell and back but i wish he’d just stop going there

Valve actually put that sign in game because playtesters would destroy the generator and then turn around immediately and not see the implosion animation they’d worked so hard on.

sometimes the world gives it to you

Young, dumb and full of gum

gum stays in your body for 7 years and i eat a lot of it

That’s actually a myth! If you went digging through your yummy shits you’ll find chewed gum looking about the same as it did when you swallowed it!

my whats? 

I was trying to explain to my sister-in-law that I simply cannot turn on my car headlights if anyone is looking at me and she thought I was crazy.

Literally nothing more embarrassing than tying your shoes in public like oh look at me I'm a 5 year old because I couldn't tie my shoes tight enough to last a walk through the kroger

are y’all okay

no

cosmo wanda i wish for everyone explode die kill kill evil die explode die die die

Can someone explain exactly how MaryAnn caused the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand? Like what did she wish for.

Mary Ann, bored at school: "Cosmo, I wish European politics were more interesting."

White supremacy and blatant racism has held the US back since the beginning. 

it’s DIRT

unmute for comically aggrieved farmer

reblogging for the second time because I still laugh uncontrollably. in my mind the cows are trying to be gracious about their strange gift. ‘yes we love it thank u’

@diseonfire future?