guillermo del toroās little brother
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ā
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@immaculater
guillermo del toroās little brother

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the fact vegans think they can be appropriated is the funniest fucking thing iāve heard in my life
I need to know what happened after āyou absolute fuckā
Iām losing my fucking mind.
This woman is a gift and a genius.
this is a game changer

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I was drawing a bunch of pentagrams in my notebook during math class because I was bored and I think I drew 150 pentagrams in total before a devilish-looking guy wearing a red suit broke down the door of the classroom and yelled āwHAT the fUCK do you wANT?!ā
this username escapes me every single time
some post: itās okay if you havenāt done all these things yet! thereās no time limit and you move at your own pace! you shouldnāt be upset because youāre eighteen and none of itās happened!
me, a 22yr old:Ā
In the modern idiom:
āSo Bob said [ā¦]ā indicates that I am directly quoting Bob.
āThen Bob was like [ā¦]ā indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob.
āAnd Bob was all [ā¦]ā indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob, and additionally I am being a dick about it.
I donāt know about you, but I think itās fantastic that we have a specific grammatical convention for that.
What I find most frustrating is when people donāt understand this! I donāt know if itās a generation thing, but sometimes Iāll be talking and say āSo I was like āare you fucking kidding meā and the person will look at me all horrified and say āyou didnāt actually say that, did you?ā I said LIKE heidi keep up jesus

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Iām an introvert and I would never do this. Being an introvert, I donāt really care if people know Iām an introvert or not.
space shit is cancelled until we solve homelessness and poverty
I mean, the military budget of the USA is around 824.6 billion.Ā
NASAās budget is only 18-19 billion
Itās estimated that to end extreme poverty would take 175 billion dollars
Clearly, itās space stuff thatās taking up all money that could otherwise go to help people.Ā
We canāt cut the space budget. We need it to launch the billionaires into the sun
At its peak, funding NASA returned 8 dollars to the economy for every dollar it was given and singlehandedly advanced technology by decades. The money doesnāt get launched into space: all the benefits stay here.
Almost every technological advancement of the late 20th century to the now is in someway tied to NASA, from the comfort of your bed to the cutting edge in heart defect detection and treatment.
You touch NASA and I will cut you down personally.
Fuck people who are so ignorant they think itās NASA vs poor people rather than NASA and poor people vs the fucking military.
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where weāre all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadnāt ended, and John Mulaney quietly says,Ā āHas there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?ā
Heād taken his suit to the drycleaner, and theyād wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didnāt notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didnāt notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she āis aware that she is physically here right nowā or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is theĀ āand Iām new in townā bit and that sheās seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldnāt get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things heās said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked,Ā āAre you with him? Whatās his name?ā
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her dateās name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said,Ā āAt some point during the show, I am going to stop and say,Ā āWell, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,ā and then you guys are all going to scream backĀ āWE LOVE MILKSHAKES!ā Heāll be so confused.ā
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonaldās drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said,Ā āYou guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdaleā¦ā
Naturally, we erupted withĀ āWE LOVE MILKSHAKESā and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said,Ā āI bet youāre real confused now, huh, JASON?!ā
Bob Ross used to get 200 fan letters a day. When people who regularly wrote him fell out of touch, he would call them just to see if they were OK. Source
we didnāt deserve bob ross
Iām still pretty sure Bob Ross was some outworldly cosmic entity because thereās no way any fuck on here can be that kind spirited, nice and pure
@kithandqin
Before he came to be the artful mindful guru that we know him as, apparently he was in the Air Force for 20 years and was a drill sergeant for part of it.
āI was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work. The job requires you to be a mean, tough person. And I was fed up with it. I promised myself that if I ever got away from it, it wasnāt going to be that way anymore.ā Ā
Now Iām just wondering what airforcemen thought about seeing drill sergeant Ross on tv painting trees
small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]
me:
small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]
me:

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Imagine being born a goat and not knowing exactly why you are climbing a rock but you just feel like itās right to
can horses recognize that the horses on the merry go round arenāt real?Ā or can they not even comprehend that those are resemblances of their own species?Ā how close does a fake horse have to be to a real horse for a horse to recognize it as a horse