spooky in the corner

so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was all “y'know there was one game i used to play, and it had like a maze, and it was underground, and there was a guy in first person and he had a weapon” so knowing her penchant for puzzle games, i started guessing like myst, or legend of grimrock so we start hunting through these 90’s-era games featuring dungeon crawls. turns out. it was not a puzzle game. it was nothing close to a puzzle game. apparently, in the mid-90s, my grandmother would sit down and play fucking Wolfenstein 3D and listen to AC/DC for like hours on end.

Au contraire, the puzzle was “how to kill Nazis” and the answer was “use gun”

It's even funnier when you find out that they had to stop using this ad because they were using music they didn't have the rights to

This

not only is it not friday it’s not even thursday. or wednesday

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

Your mother is the only one who understands me

i dont want a childproofed internet i am almost 30 fucking years old. give your kid an internet safety talk and stop making it the problem of every adult on the planet every time some cryptkeeper legislator gets the brilliant idea (via conservative lobbying) to push through yet another bill gutting our access to free expression + increasing the powers of the surveillance state + lining the pockets of Big Data in the name of Protecting The Kids they wont even feed. this shit is exhausting i can’t believe we’re going to be fighting about it for the rest of my life

Those who think that wisdom and whimsy are mutually exclusive have neither. It's vitally important to do the right thing when the consequences are dire, and to do a whole bunch of utterly frivolous silly dumb shit when it doesn't matter what you do.

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

"we have to accept the fact that the r word is coming back" NO WE DONTTTT NO WE DONT