
@theartofmadeline
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sade Olutola
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
todays bird
Fieri Frames
Phantogram Three
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
RMH
Not today Justin
Noah Kahan
noise dept.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Product Placement

Kiana Khansmith
The Bright Sessions
sheepfilms

romaâ

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@imfeelingthepayne

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MĹąvĂŠszet
the muffled âCall Me Maybeâ by Carly Rae Jepsen in the background is what really sells this video for me tbh
Thereâs jagermeister. Iâm so in
Fuck. Wow.
me,wandering the moors of ireland,jabbing a stick into various bogs: hozier if youâre in there i need you to come out and make new music please
Before vs After Adoption
[source]
Truthfully the most precious thing I have ever had the privilege to repost.
This makes my heart so happy. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
My roomba is scared of thunderstorms
I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went offâno power surges or anything, just thunderâand my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles
I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap
Humans will pack bond with anything.Â
I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. âIf somethingâs in a damaged box I have to get it because Iâm afraid no one else will love it,â she laughed nervously.
Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.
I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said âis it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?â And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.
I saw this post once but IT GOT EVEN BETTER

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This is so important.
Disney Ladies + Science (&Â âScienceâ). Thanks to our followers for ideas.
Yes, textile engineer. Thatâs not a fashion designer in any way.
Youâve obviously not watched the movie. She invented those fabrics to resist flame, turn invisible, resist high amounts of friction, and stretch infinite times, and avoid tear from bombs
she did a tad more than âdesignâ them
(Id go so far as to say âtactical textile engineerâ
And since the fabrics have to be comfortable as well, sheâs a tactile tactical textile engineer.
And since the uniforms also had to look stylish and not gaudy, sheâs a tasteful tactile tactical textile engineer.
And since she was making suits for superheroes of color in the 50â˛s sheâs a tolerant tasteful tactile tactical textile engineer
Tiny tolerant tasteful tactile textile engineer
Me: I donât know if I ever want to be pregnant, Iâd rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older
Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES
Me: We are discussing human beings not digital pets
Literally every child every born and/or parented presents unique challenges. Itâs like people are unique individualsâŚ..or somethingâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
An amazing and revolutionary concept
I feel called out

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Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as âfeeeeemalesâ.
Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something weâd regard as trivial and bizarre.
pro cilantro and anti cilantro
Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as âedibleâ and the other half is âinedible.â
No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.
Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is
Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG
I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanityÂ
IM SCREAMING
ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the âin case a nuclear attack happensâ phaseâŚâŚ. [x]
This shit is wild.
There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if youâre so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.
After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.
Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if youâre stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, youâre dead. Radiation poisoning.
Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever youâre going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.
How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as thereâs enough inches vertically youâll be good so long as you stay under it.
You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.
Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.
I cannot believe I actually have to freaking reblog this but here y'all go just in case
Take a break from the humor for just a second and read this.
Sorry, what year is this again??
Why do people out in the country drive so slow like Iâm gay bitch I canât go under 75 mph
you drive 75 mph in the city?
Im Gay Bitch
Okay so Norway is like such an odd country cause like listen to this
Norwegians consume 9% of all Pepsi max produced
Norwegians eat the second most tacos in the world, just after Mexico
Norwegians drink the second most coffee in the world, just after USA
Norwegians read the second most comic book in the world, just after japan
There are only 5 million people in Norway
thas a lotta pepsi

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why do people say âdonât be a pussyâ when talking about weakness more like âdonât be a manâs egoâ because you know there isnât nothing more fragile than that
uhÂ
because âpussyâ is the shortened form of the word âpusillanimousâ, which means âtimid, cowardlyâ
and not the slang word for the female genital region?
literally no one else knows this. nobody.Â
WHAT
Sensational.
Remarkable.
itâs a real word
you: pussy
me, an intellectual: pusillanimous
Set your WIFI password to 2444666668888888, when your friend ask just tell him itâs 12345678
i sat here for like 10 minutes trying to figure this out.