broken crayons still colour

And I was thinking about this and I remembered also seeing an article about this one mated pair of crows where one of them broke its beak and thus couldn't properly feed itself on its own. So the other one helps

So basically I have connected the two dots ("you didn't connect shit") I've connected them

And also they not only use tools but teach each other how to construct them, so uh

The latest big finding about crows is that they have a grasp of knowledge breadth, meaning they "know what they know" meaning they are conscious (self aware), have subjective experiences and can reflect on their knowledge. (Source) This also implies they have an understanding of the unknown.

Think about it! Humans are possibly THE most challenging (and sometimes rewarding) encounter in their environment. We accidentally and on purpose give them puzzles to solve. Humans stimulate the shit out of crow society, and they are rapidly evolving in order to deal with us. We and our developments are everywhere, and crows are adapting -- before our eyes! -- to thrive.

Realistically I know immortality would kinda suck but I'd love to see where crows are going with this

Unshed Tears by Seven-teenth

Diabetics dont have that luxury! Without medication, our body is in a constant crisis where we need more sugar and the sugars that break down the fastest are sweets! But then they dont all get absorbed, then the unabsorbed sugar hangs out in our bloodstream then gets flushed out, and then we still need more. All those healthy things break down too slowly for when we're in a crisis, and then we STILL dont absorb all of it! And I'm only talking about type 2, type 1 cant absorb anything at all because they dont have any insulin!

You cannot healthy eat or diet your way out of diabetes. You cannot lose weight out of diabetes. Once you get diabetes, even if you manage your symptoms perfectly you HAVE diabetes. You have a chronic illness. And that means its time to see doctors, get on medications, and practice self care.

And sometimes self care means you eat dessert first while dinner is cooking so you have the energy to finish cooking. Sometimes that means eating many small meals to match your body's absorption rate. Sometimes that means eating at midnight so you have the blood sugar to sleep.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.