*can be trusted with sharp objects*

they're a problematic character TO YOU. they're problematic to me as well but I'm being weird and horny about it so it's different

*christ dies on the cross* Um.. okay. That just happened. Awkwarrrrd...

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

there should be like secret extra editions of dnd that wotc denounces as false like christian apocrypha

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

i don't really think it's like that at all

You losers like rick and morty, while I like em thick and portly

Today, I had eggs for breakfast. They weren't the kind of eggs I lay. The eggs I had for breakfast were white. The eggs were white all over and did not have spots. The eggs were yummy!

#lovewins

I never really considered that a rabbit would care for a scarab one way or the other. Didn't think a rabbit could formulate an opinion on the scarab at all