Imagine MCU AUs

And he had planned to keep it that way for the rest of eternity.

But life has a funny way of spitting things back in your face.

“How are you going to stop me... when they’ll be too busy fighting you?” Loki leered as he tapped the scepter to Tony’s chest.

He felt the rush of magic as it leaked around the arc reactor. It took everything Tony had to not laugh at such a pitiful, weak spell. Quelling the magic without batting an eye, Tony reveled in the stricken and confused look on Loki’s face.

“It takes a lot more than that to get me to roll over.”

As much as he tried, Tony couldn’t help a small growl from slipping from his throat as he spoke. When he had flown to Germany a couple days ago, he had been more than a little worried that Loki would immediately sense the magical energy within him and discover who he was. Which was why he had been super careful to suppress it. But the bastard didn’t even bother to check.

Now that they were alone, all bets were off.

Loki looked up at Tony, his face transitioning from confusion to realization, and then finally settled on anger. Tony flashed his signature grin, made even more wolfish by his growing fangs.

They have him sitting on a couch on the common floor of Avengers tower. They greeted him with wide smiles, and Pepper explained what they had done. But the silence and Tony’s knotted eyebrows suddenly made things extremely… awkward.

“Listen, Tony…” Steve steps forward. “We just thought that-”

“I don’t know what I did to make you guys think that you needed to do this…” Tony says as he stands up and faces them all. Clint is starting to puff up, getting ready to defend the team and Pepper. But Tony continues. “But I do appreciate it. Really, I do, even though it might not sound or seem like it. So uh… thanks.”

The rest of the team has soft smiles of understanding. Steve walks up to him and claps a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Happy Birthday, Tony.”

Tony smirks. “This doesn’t mean we have to start calling each other ‘bro’ now, right?”

It all started when Clint came home to find his desk covered in sticky notes, and a picture of Nicholas Cage on the bottom of his computer mouse. He thought it was weird, but just shrugged and threw all the notes away. But then the next week, his stapler ended up inside a block of green jello.

It pretty much escalated from there:

Clint filled Peter’s pillow with gravel.

Peter taped all of Clint’s supplies to the ceiling.

Clint took all of Peter’s underwear and hung them on other people’s doors.

Peter took Clint’s after-workout protein mix and replaced it with laxatives.

Clint let a raccoon loose on Peter while he was in the shower.

In the end, they were sitting on their floor, out of breath. Clint had sharpie marks up and down his arms and his hair was a bright shade of pink. Peter was covered with honey and feathers, the words “I cry during sex” slightly faded on his forehead.

They looked at each other, completely exhausted and utter messes of human beings. Peter struggled no to smile at the light in Clint’s eye. But it wasn’t long before they were both rolling on the floor with laughter.

“We got another coffee run to do.”

“I’m sick and tired of getting coffee. I hope I never see another light caramel macchiato no whip for as long as I live.”

“Tony, if we play our cards right, then this could be big for us. Every director started off where you are right now.”

“Well, my cards are making me very irritated. I say ‘fortune favors the bold’, Steve. I’m gonna make my move.”

“What are you doing? What do you mean-”

“Steve, would you rather be stuck getting coffee behind the camera or acting in front of it with other people getting your coffee?”

“...”

“That’s what I thought. Trust me Steve, after today I’ll have changed our lives forever.”

“Okay... do not get us fired again, Tony.”

~~~

“Tony... what the hell did you do?!”

“I guess the directors don’t like it when you try to pitch at them during their twenty minute nap.”

“But why is the studio on FIRE?!”

“Oh that... that’s a little harder to explain.”

“TONY.”

“Think of it this way, the lead actor is probably dead, so this is the perfect time for you to strut your stuff.”

(female!Steve from our blog)

"Only you would get a concussion from an Atlas falling on your head." Bucky said as he carried Stevie bridal style through her apartment front door. "You know, you could have just gotten me to get it for you."

"Ima strooong, boo...beautiful, in-de-pen-dant woman... who doesn't need no maaan," Stevie was still a little out of it from the painkillers the doctors had given her.

"Right, which is why I'm carrying you." Bucky rolled his eyes as he laid her down gently on the couch.

"You should haaaaf... seen this stupid book. It wasssss... bigger than your head." Stevie giggled. "And you have a really... big head. I mean like...ginormous."

Bucky returned from the kitchen with a glass of water. "You still talking about my head, or the book that almost killed you?"

"Waitwaitwait." Stevie's eyes went wide as she tried to sit up, but Bucky pushed her back down. "I almost diiiieed? Wha...when did that happen?"

"Today at the library, goofball." Bucky said as he helped her drink the water. "You're lucky I was there to carry you to the clinic."

Stevie smiled dreamily as Bucky removed her glasses and placed them on the night stand. "Ahv...I've alwaaaays been lucky ta haaf you Buck."

"Just try not to let it happen again, okay?" Bucky said. "Everyone's luck runs out sooner or later."

"Bucky, I... I..." Stevie looked right up into his eyes, her face calm and clearer. Bucky waited, debating whether he should stop her from saying something she would regret.

Stevie's body heaved as she lurched forward, vomiting the water and whatever else was in her stomach onto the floor and incidentally, Bucky's shoes. Bucky shot up immediately, backing away in disgust. Stevie just flopped back over and closed her eyes, out like a light. Bucky sighed, shaking his head.

“You...have captured my interest.” Nebula tilted her head at Ultron as they finished telling their story and plans. “But why should I trust you?”

“What? Saving you from falling out of the sky and helping you repair your arm isn’t good enough?” They purred, quirking one of their metal eyebrows. “As it is my dear, you don’t have to trust me. You just have to understand me.”

Nebula’s hand finish recalibrating, and she tested the enhancements by balling it into a fist and punching through one of the metal beams of Ultron’s lair. The metal beam screeched as it bent in half, but Nebula could tell that the hand was still weak. But still, impressive repairs for an earth robot, given what they had to work with..

“I could really use someone of your abilities.” Ultron was closer, standing behind her with their voice lowered. “I’ve never met anybody like you. You’re amazing.”

Nebula spun around, suddenly angry for reasons she couldn’t place. But whatever rant she was about to spew was stopped short as she craned her neck to look up at Ultron’s face. Their red eyes were so obviously robotic, but they also held an emotional intelligence like that of an organic being. But what caught Nebula’s breath in her chest was the awe and admiration that Ultron so clearly showed on their face as they gazed at her. Nobody had ever looked at Nebula like that. Not her father, Thanos. Not even her traitorous sister, Gamora. It made her feel... strange.

“Well, I guess while I’m here,” Nebula finally squeaked out. “I might as well have a little fun. But then you must help me return home.”

Ultron smiled, a gesture she was not used to being directed at her, and put a hand on her shoulder.

“You have my word. This, my dear...” Ultron’s expression turned dark. “Is the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”

Howard thought that Tony was going to be around for the rest of his life, so there was always tomorrow. Tomorrow he would play catch with his son. Tomorrow he would take Tony to the museum. Tomorrow they would start on their first project together.

But then came the day when there were no more tomorrows. It was an icy night when the car had suddenly veered out of control on their way home from Tony’s  violin lessons. Howard always knew that he would possibly live longer than his wife, but he had thought that wasn’t for another fifty years down the road. However, it had never once crossed his mind that he would outlive his own son.

“What...what do you mean my wife and son could have... been murdered?”

“New evidence has revealed a bullet hole in the windshield. Went straight through the chauffeurs brain.” The detective wrung his hat in his hands, looking nervous. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I just thought you should know-”

“It was supposed to be me.” Howard Stark went pale as he swallowed the realization. “I was supposed to go with Maria to pick up Tony, but I was...”

Howard put his hand over his mouth to hold in the sobs, and the detective left with only a small remark about letting him know what else he found out. Howard’s mind raced, quickly transitioning from sorrow to confusion, and finally to anger. If someone was going through the trouble of having him and his family killed, then he had to find out who and why. Even if he had to do it by himself.

Howard looked up at one of Tony’s crayon sketches on the refrigerator, that he had happily shown to him only to be shooed away. Maria must have put it there. It depicted a man in armor with jets coming out of the feet and hands. He stared at it for a long while and smirked.

Bucky’s a natural when it comes to the stage. He’d always been confident and outspoken, so it was easy for him to slip into the thespian life. Also, there were a lot of girls. In really short skirts. And Steve in really tight tights. That kind of helped, too.

He had a small role in the show as the energetic side-kick, sharing lines with Steve and running around performing stunts with a phantom-esque mask on his face. During one of Steve’s monologues about how important it was to support the troops, Bucky would run onto the stage and shout “Look out, Captain!” Which was Steve’s queue to spin around and fake-punch the fake- Hitler. Then they would shake hands as the audience cheered and Bucky would flash his million dollar smile.

He was standing right next to Steve on the posters, and he posed with many fans and supporters for pictures. Most of whom were young teenage girls. Behind the scenes, Bucky was there to encourage Steve and remind him just how important this campaign was. Steve always said to Bucky right before a show “I don’t know how I could do this without you.” to which Bucky always replied with a smile and “Probably not as gracefully.”

That was how they traveled the nation together, like they always said they would. Bucky put his charm to good use with each and every soldier girl, but he sat next to only Steve on the trains to watch the countryside roll by. Then the campaign grew and they shipped off across the sea to inspire confidence on the frontlines. Bucky’s character changed from the quirky side-kick to the relatable soldier, because they weren’t performing for kids anymore. Bucky had a stirring solo sequence with no music or dancing, in which he talked about what exactly those soldiers were there to fight for, because it was easy to forget. Many a tear fell in the audience of troops, and they stood in rallying applause when Bucky and Cap gave their final call to arms.

(hey nony, there’s another story from earlier with the exact same prompt, just so you know)

It prowled through the darkness, as if a piece the night sky itself had fallen to earth and taken shape. The large spines on it's back sliced through the air as it moved silently through the buildings. It's black fur was coarse and short. It walked on four scaly raptor-like feet, and despite being almost the size of a horse, it hid itself well among the dumpsters and alleys of the city. There wasn’t much need to hide, though. At three in the morning, there were hardly and any people out.

But it’s target was still awake.

Steve startled himself into consciousness. He snapped his eyes open to a plain plaster ceiling over him with a single light fixture. The only sounds were his breathing and the faint buzzing that the strange lights were giving off. Steve turned his head and looked around, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

The last thing he remembered was piloting the Valkyrie into a nosedive, the icy water rushing up at him. He didn’t remember the impact, but he did remember the crackling sound of Peggy’s voice. Steve sat up and swung his legs over the bed. Well, this definitely wasn’t the Valkyrie.

One wall was knocked out and replaced with iron bars. Across the hall was another cell, dark and empty. He approached the bars, looking down the hallway. He was surprised to see two guards stationed at either side of his cell. Steve was about to demand where he was, until he saw the red emblem on their shoulders.

He didn’t have much time to react, as the wall where his bed laid suddenly exploded into rubble. He covered his head with his arms, coughing. He peered through the dust as a man made out of metal ascended into the room, his hands and feet spewing fire as it’s eyes and a circle of light on it’s chest glowed. The guards in the hall had been knocked off their feet with the explosion, but now they were scrambling to open the cell, their shouting definitely a foreign language.

“Come with me if you want to live.” A man’s voice called. Steve hesitated. “Come on, Grandpa, we don’t have all day.”

By now the guards were shouting to the other guards that had poured into the hallway, still fumbling with their keys. Steve stepped up to the metal man, who wrapped a strong arm around his waist. Steve clung to the man as they jumped backwards out of the cell.

It was night time, so Steve couldn’t see much. But they only flew for a couple seconds before Steve realized they were over water. A small light was waving back and forth, signaling them. The metal man approached the light, which was actually a woman waving a flashlight. She was standing in a boat, although it wasn’t like any boat Steve had ever seen. Another man, this one not made of metal, stood beside her, wearing glasses. The guy carrying Steve alighted in the boat, dropping him, then took off again.

The woman started the boat and followed close behind at surprising speed.

“Captain Rogers, welcome back to the land of the living.” She yelled back over the wind.

Steve struggled to keep his feet as the boat jumped through the waves. “Who are you people? Why is HYDRA-” Steve cursed as the boat rocked suddenly, sending him crashing into the other man who caught him. He was stronger than he looked. “Will someone please explain what’s going on?”

The man that had caught him looked him in the eye. He was incredibly calm. “My name is Bruce, this is Natasha, and that’s Tony.” He said as he pointed to the woman and the metal man. “We are all that’s left of the Avengers. HYDRA is in control of everything now.”

“What?” Steve couldn’t believe his ears. “How?”

Steve’s daemon is named Gloria

Bucky’s daemon is called Jocelyn

Thor & Jane as Zeus & Hera

Loki as Hades

Steve as Apollon

Natasha as Aphrodite

Clint as Herakles

Bruce as Hephaistos

Bucky as Ares

Tony as Dionysos

“Uh… Thor?”

Steve stood before the crowd of bowed people, not really sure what to make of it. He knew it wasn’t for the God of Thunder because Thor had only just arrived to collect Steve. As soon as he had stepped off the rainbow bridge it was like the dominoes fell.

Thor panicked, thinking fast.

“Tis nothing more than a customary Asgardian greeting, Captain.” Thor blurted out, almost a little too quickly. “Take no heed. Please, right this way.”

Thor clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder and began leading him through the streets. Rogers cast a weary eye around him.

“It’s a little much, isn’t it?”

“Not at all! Here in Asgard we treat all guests like royalty! Now make haste, my friend. We have prepared a glorious feast in your honor.”

“Really? Wow, you guys sure know how to role out the welcome wagon.” Steve continued to walk through the streets, gazing with wonder at the world around him, the people he passed falling to their knees in his wake. Thor looked after him, wondering if maybe now, or at some point during his stay, he could finally tell the lost prince the truth.