Dylan

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

This is sweet but I really thought it was going to end with someone named “Haters Horge” who spends every second in a cave halfway across the world just loathing you for no reason and they were the statistical outlier

Don't be your own Haters Horge

Throw Haters Horge in a Disastrous Gorge

*grasping at straws* My straws!

Me

bro just flirt with me a little

[through tears] yeah i remain whimsical

They should invent a way to sit hunched over doing crafts that is Good for your body

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

caller got into a car accident on their way to work? their nonexistant son dorian was hurt. got kicked out of a bar and broke their ankle? their son dorian was the one who broke it. i now spend more time having to de-dorian the call summary than if i had just written it myself. really funny. we're required to use this now

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

History is written by victors

yeah well Victor fucking bit me