⋆｡‧˚ʚ bird's eye view ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Is this how Isaac felt? 

Afraid of moving anything that didn't belong to you, cautious of making any noise to alert anyone that you were still awake. Maybe a bit too uncomfortable here. 

Everyone was up in their rooms and asleep, or so you thought. Hard padded creaks on the floorboard were coming closer. So there were only two people it could possibly be if the stairs kept quiet. “You’re still awake.” His voice echoed. 

“Yep," Blinking to focus on his figure, "Why are you awake?” Shifting so Nick had some space on the couch. 

“I’m still editing. Might stop for the night though.” He sat, looking past you and out the window. Both lost in thought, and yet for completely different reasons. Drowning the outside noises to a hum, leaving nothing but hollow breathing and shifts from the floor above and this one. “Heh, you got enough blankets?” Patting the lump of softness near him. 

You threw a thumbs up even if he could barely see it. "They're pretty comfy," there were two on you like normal, then another lazily folded to elevate your foot and a fourth draped over your head and covered both arms like a cape. It was certainly a sight to see, a cozy cocoon in a way, but it was familiar arranging them this way. “I might keep them.” Chuckling a bit. 

Shadows of tree branches laid on the floor and coffee table, swaying the faintest bit with the wind. “I trust you,” he said, no hesitance in his tone, “You know that.” 

It was hard to keep a shiver down, “....yea.” impending doom from your response. Burying deep into the covers to avoid his stare and steadying your hands with a hard squeeze, “He told you about the nightmare thing, didn’t he?” There was no question about it but you still wanted to hear him confirm it. 

A beat then a resigned sigh followed, “Don’t blame him-” 

“I don’t.”

Feeling the smoothness of the ring. “I think- I would’ve been more surprised if he didn’t tell you.” From how close they are, they’re bound to share secrets. But knowing one of them could be about you, was terrifying to think about. Or how far it went. 

He held his tongue, “We wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again, better safe than sorry.” Another issue weighing on his mind more than he’d like to admit. 

More than you'd like to confront, rather.

Opposite sides tip-toeing the line of actually meaning something or lingering in the cruel reality. 

✧₊⁺

It's been a full week of having the added heaviness of a cast on your leg. And the feeling of going crazy in the apartment played a part of that, alongside the fact of needing space from everyone and their knowing, paranoid glances. Ok, maybe they aren’t paranoid, but you were certainly on edge. 

The day after that, odd, conversation with Nick, he was seemingly fine with dropping you off. Though when you waited for him at the door to take you back, Tanner came instead. Neither of them mentioned the switch up so you let it be. Until your curiosity gnawing at your thoughts was enough to ask.

“I thought Nick was gonna take me back?” you wondered after a song finished playing.

He chuckled and glanced at you, “What? You trying to get rid of me already? I wanna see your place.” tossing the real question aside for teasing and a puppy pout. Which you couldn’t help but give in, he knew how to get on your good side.

“Maybe, you’re lucky I’m even allowing you inside.” suspicions laid to the side. “I was wondering cause he said he was going to.” wondering if they're hiding anything. “Are you gonna stay a bit before going back?”

He turned, confused at the question. “Back?” you nodded, waiting for him to say something else. “Oh, I'll stay for a few hours then leave. I'm not sure if Nick or Isaac was gonna come over though.” subtly fixing his posture in the seat while confusion struck you, “If that's cool with you. I can always stay the night if you want me to.” his bad attempt at asking subtly.

The rest of the ride was full of conversation, no awkward pauses like you've been having more of recently. His presence in the apartment was definitely different than Isaac’s.

Tanner excitedly hopped around the place, commenting on everything inside. Props, trinkets, dvd's and cd's weren’t spared from his questions. Spending the hours talking and looking through the movies and shows you've watched countless times. 

“How long have you been collecting these?” flipping through the disks and finding something to pop in.

“I don’t know,” shrugging. “The whole time..? I guess. They’re mostly stuff that I really like or from, years ago. What I used to watch.” but those haven’t been touched or seen the light in said years.

Maybe I should throw it away. Its not like I watch it anyways… It sounded like a good solution to rid of useless junk. 

Neither of you realized how much time has passed until your stomach rumbled, alerting Tanner and making him laugh. Though soon enough, his was doing the same and earning a smirk from you that time. Throwing different options and around trying to get the other to decide until the two of you had to play rock-paper-scissors to settle it, and thankfully he won.

After lunch and watching the beginning of random shows, apparently it was time for Tanner to leave. Which caused some fear to rise up in your throat, afraid of who'll come in his place. Hoping it's one of them over the others.

When he left, you had some time to spare for yourself. Whether that was good or not was debatable. Fully relaxing on the plush couch and tuning out the voices on the tv. Your body rising and gently dragging you down, almost pulling you in between the cushions. With suffocating breaths but firm strength in rejecting it fully. Clouding possibilities that’ll make you rethink everything.

A quick check of the phone lead to nothing, she hasn't answered yet. Or even looked at it, perhaps it's time to cut your losses. After years there has to be like, a time limit in when you’re able to text before they brush it off.

Right?

That’s a thing. Cause if you sent a message and they don’t respond, then they don’t care. Years spent together, severed. Unable to restring otherwise it’ll be a clumped up mess. Eerie stillness fogged the room, sulking in it for as long as you could until someone came back. Wanting to think of things to do rather than rot in bed or the couch, though it’s been the norm lately. 

It's some dumb luck, that's what you considered it, but when you opened the door to see Isaac, something in you fluttered and settled. 

He is the most obvious person to stay the night out of all of them. And saying that sounds absurd, considering you weren't too keen on having any of them over before. But now it seems like he's made himself comfortable and found a spot to occupy. The slight idea of being ok with that, actually terrified you, in more ways than one. Causing a shift in you to hide, avoid being in the same space for hours at a time. 

Instead, choosing to continue work on commissions before they really start to pile up. Early hours were spent in the office, then the evening with Isaac to eat and take breaks. Before returning to work in the late night, accidentally sleeping at the cluttered desk one night. Or that's what you thought until you woke up the next day, ending up in your bed with no memory of moving rooms. Shrugging it off since it wasn't the first time you don't remember something like that. Another habit of being terribly tired and doing something with no recollection the next morning. 

Like it was a normal breath, I sighed. Tapping fingernails on the table while thinking of something to do. 

“Bored?” a deep chuckled interrupted my thoughts. I glanced to the left, seeing Isaac flip through shows to find something to watch. His eyes fixated on the screen while mine were on him. 

I half shrugged, “Kinda, you?” hearing the clicks quieting as he answered. “Not really. I just don't know what to watch.” 

From the amount of times he’s been here, I’m surprised he hasn’t ruined any of my things. That’s not to say he’ll do that intentionally, it’s more of a…I’m not sure. His presence eased into my normal routine, or as adjusted as normal was. In fact, maybe I liked it. 

I really did like it. 

But that still didn’t allow me to fully let go of the sudden shivers here and there. The slip ups from the first night still reeled in my mind, and the ones before that. Worried about making mistakes and making it worse. I'm going crazy, I know I am. Or crazier I guess. How long has it been since I've willingly shut myself inside? God, years ago now. And I feel like I'm reverting to my hermit lifestyle. Realizing how easy it is to happen, and how I let it happen. Allowing myself to feel this shitty since it's so familiar. 

“Hey.” a weight on my shoulder brought me back. “What about going somewhere?” 

It didn’t take long to find the place, considering I’ve been there countless times. Maybe an embarrassing amount since some of the workers knew me, taking my order without a thought and waiting for Isaac’s. They left after he ordered a drink, taking in the decor of the place before his eyes landed on mine. 

“What?” breaking eye contact as I could feel my face heat up. “…can I have my bag please?” Putting the crutches against the wall beside me. He gave a short shrug and handed it over, lingering his hand on the straps. I took out my laptop and began playing around on the home screen, too nervous to do any work at the moment. 

“So how often do you come here for them to know what you want? He said you weren’t here last week?” Straight up asking. An easily amused smile stayed on Isaac’s face that I had to avoid staring at. Only taking quick glances from behind the screen, for once actually properly seeing his face without it being weird if I stared too much. Which was hard not to do. 

Neither of us really bothered to cover our faces, I've been here plenty of times to know it's safe and told him so. 

“Yea, like maybe once a week,” seeing his smirk grow, “Most of the time it's because I need to focus and being somewhere different helps. And I was, busy last week.” Opening the editing program and bringing up the recent video I haven't started yet. “Plus, the desserts here are pretty good,” Thinking about what snack I wanna get for later. “But I might get something to eat. Are you gonna get something besides whatever you ordered?” 

He hummed and checked the time, “Depends on how long we're here.” 

“It's all up to you.” shrugging and peeking over to see his eyes wandering around. “I can't do much but I don't know if you have anything planned.” feeling the guilt bubble up in bringing him out if he already had plans. 

Building up as I thought about it more. Is he going to watch me the whole month? 

Isaac shook his head, dispelling some of the hidden shame. Having our drinks come a second later and enjoying the first cold sip. 

We talked a bit here and there while I edited, clicks and taps melting into the sounds around us. A video played out, at their place as they were included in the chaos. The recordings are a bit old, from where I could see that I didn't bother with a jacket or any kind of long sleeve shirt. But the habit of covering my arms was still there. That won't go away even if I was clean. A place of suffocating and needing any kind reason to go out, only to end up in the same situation. 

“Do you come here just to edit?” sipping on his fruity drink. 

I guess there's a slight difference. 

I cracked my knuckles, “From time to time.” bringing the comment back up. “I come here to relax most of the time though, it gets me out of my apartment.” My drink was untouched besides the few sips I took when I remembered it, swirling the half-melted ice and hearing it clink in the glass. “I try to keep a routine,” Isaac watched me as he listened. “And coming here is one of them. It's kinda weird for you to be here though.” snorting and catching his reaction. 

Feigning a hurtful shock and rolling his eyes. He always found a way to make me laugh, with the weirdest things too. “Guess I'll just leave you here,” acting like he was about to get up. “You can stumble back to your place in a week.” 

Sarcasm rolled smoothly off his tongue, bringing a new energy to the talk. “Yea, yea. For your information, I said that as a good thing,” shrugging and copying his tone, “But if you wanna leave a crippled old me here, that's on you.” covering the oncoming laugh as I saw him wave the idea away. 

His smile was sweet. A plus in being able to correctly decipher his emotions without a mask in the way. Noticing the small flick of his eyes from his drink to his hands. 

“Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere any time soon.” gripping his cup and taking a long sip. 

You couldn't help but overthink the wording or the slight shift in his voice. 

And nothing good ever comes from that, hugging the warm laptop closer to your chest. Mouth moving before the brain caught up. 

“Why?” coming out worse than it should've been. Isaac blanked for a moment before hiding it, but you caught it. “I mean, like, are you really gonna be here? Or…stay? At my place, of course. For the whole month?” stumbling in the words and dragging your limbs around to scramble for better sounding ones. “Not in a bad way, I don't mean it like that. I like spending time with you.” flushing at that and covering it up, “I like not having to talk to myself. All the time. It's nice having you around so I won't be the only one talking. Like I am now.” rambling until he put a stop to it. 

Awkwardly coughing and rubbing his neck. You darted your eyes to look anywhere but his face and pulled at the loose sleeves wanting to hide. “What I'm trying to say,” inhaling and calming yourself before adding more crumbs to the pile. “Is that, I know you have a life. Three more weeks of watching over me and I’m not a bother?” he sighed and said nothing, so you went on. Nerve wracking and on the edge of turning into a panicked spiral. 

“I had things planned, months and weeks in advance. I was supposed to do a lot of stuff this month…but I had to either cancel it completely or postpone them until, who knows when I’m free. And I don't want you to do that.” swallowing the forming shake in your voice, “It's been a week and I haven't had another nightmare. They're rare to happen in the same month, or even a year. So you don't have to stay.” shrinking at the thought that the apartment won't have another body around. Filling the space that you've always hated and felt all too familiar. And grew to come around, thinking it'll change. “I don't want you to feel like you're forced to.” 

The screen went to sleep. As well as the good mood that you've had up until this point, squashing it with a hard stomp. 

“Look,” it wasn't a warning but a genuine concern. “You aren’t forcing me to do anything.” his hands fiddled with the chewed straw, “I’m choosing to stay because I wanna see you get better, even if that means it'll take a month.” Scratching his chin as his face turned a light shade of pink.

Why does he have to sound so sweet when he's saying that? Why couldn't he just say he wanted to leave? That probably would've been better for your sanity, but he chose to be

here.

Where I am.

It might've been a trick on the mind, delusional in what I wanted to happen. But maybe, just maybe, his hand was trying to reach out to mine. “You only have to say the word,” his voice steady. “And I'll leave. If you don't want me there, then let me know. I don't want to be a bother.”

I snorted, caught off guard from his thoughts. “You're never a bother.” saying it before I realized. Unsure of adding anything to that to dispel it, but it was true. Honestly, it's better to say it without a second thought.

Rings disturbed, whatever, was unfolding. Retreating my hands, waiting for him to answer who ever it was. “Not mine.” showing off his blank screen, meaning one thing.

Who was calling me? There's no reason for it to be one of the guys since they had Isaac, so-

Shit. Scrambling to find the stupid thing and shut the annoying noise off. The caller ID drained the color from my face as quickly as it came, bringing back as much displeasure as a single name could bring.

Making my moves robotic, rehearsed. 

"Who is it?" His voice rang out, interrupting my own strangled rings. I watched the name switch back to the lock screen.

Opening my cotton-mouth then shutting it again, opting to just shake my head. "Spam." Throwing it under the rug, this is certainly the last place I wanted to be while answering.

“Whoa, dude chill out.” You tried to calm down Nick's sudden outburst from losing the round. But he did the opposite, huffing and getting up to pace around in the kitchen. The rest of you watched as he mumble to himself. “He needs more sleep.” Tanner scratched his head while going back to the game. “We’ll get him later.” Isaac did the same, turning back to the tv. You weren’t playing at the moment to film so you went to see if Nick needed anything. 

He was slouching over the island with his eyes closed. You cautiously walked over, “You cool?” Asking with a small chuckle and placing a hand on his shoulder. Nick wrung his hands through his knotted hair, groaning out his frustration without actually saying anything. Staying in that position long enough that you had to make sure he didn’t somehow fall asleep or zone out. Moving your hand gently closer to the nape of his neck and keeping it there until he moved.

Goosebumps ran down his back as Nick sighed, bringing his head up and leaning against the cold wall. “I didn’t mean to blow up.” You squeezed his arm to comfort him, “I think you need to take a break. Not to be a bitch, but you were kind of a bitch.” Leaning on the counter and facing the game, chuckling at his lazy reaction. He threw his hands over his head and grinned. “Yea, I’ve been too busy to get any sleep lately.” Looking over to you with clouded eyes as he closed the gap between you two. With a gulp and looking over your shoulder, you eyed him down, “What do you think you're doing?" A sly grin on your face as he towered over you. His hot breath fanning the side of your face. 

"Trying to relax," Leaning a chin on you, "Something wrong with that?" Snaking his hands around your waist and keeping you in a box. The guys in the living room paid no attention to either of you, focusing more on the game than whatever Nick was aching for. He squeezed your hips and pulled it back into his crotch. Already feeling his growing boner between both of your jeans and feeling yourself heat up. 

Nick trailed one of his hands down your thigh and slowly brought it back up to tease you, making you squirm from the lack of proper touch. He chuckled, going right to your ass and slightly lifting you up so he could rub his dick against it. You were on your tip-toes and bit your lip, allowing him to freely move you around to his pleasure. 

“Fuck,” He moaned into your ear, “You feel so good.” Keeping a good pace that made you crave more. Digging his nails into your skin and whimpering so only you could hear. You rubbed your thighs together to get more friction as he practically squished you between himself and the counter, barely any space to move if at all. 

“Nick.” You whined as he went rougher. Desperate to keep quiet yourself as he held you in place, chasing his own high rather than worrying about getting caught. And that thought alone made you push your ass onto his cock to feel the bulge and wish he'd just fuck you here. The more he thrust the more you felt yourself get wetter, close to the edge. Nick was starting to feel the same as his grip loosened and buried his face in your back, breathing heavily and calling your name. As you felt yourself come undone, he did too with a final push. 

He was bored. Tanner, the guy who always finds something to do out of nothing, was staring blankly at his monitor and hoping something would pop up to interest him. 

And that’s how he found it, his new favorite pastime two days out of the week. Bored and horny, a combination of frustration and urge. It was an accident, he wasn’t looking for it on purpose. Per say really. It was aimlessly searching and trying to find something to watch that he stumbled upon it. 

A site full of various cam girls. Some with thousands of viewers and gifters for the shows they put on and others with a few hundred but loyal watchers. Tanner scrolled through the flashy backgrounds of a few, went to the next page, then another. None of them caught his eye, basically nitpicking each one with a fine tooth comb. He was close to giving up his search and just chose the usual videos until he found one with a soft glow. 

The background consisted of well-kept stuffed animals, plush pillows with silk floral cases, and blankets thrown around that looked effortless but put together with thought. Sweet chuckles came from the live, only the lower half of your mouth was shown but Tanner could see how soft your lips looked. A shiny and glittery sheer to it, biting the lower lip anytime a comment would flatter you. 

Entranced by your presence, he almost forgot what he was doing in the first place. Thankfully, it seemed like you just started. Palming himself over his shorts. You watched as the chat went by, most of them familiar with how often they chatted or donated and others completely new. Sometimes you would see a stray rude request but you're able to easily kick them from how long you’ve been doing this. Unfazed from how wild they can get. Playfully teasing before getting any further. 

Tanner dropped his shorts and let it pool around his ankles, slowly stroking his throbbing cock and waiting in excited anticipation. 

“-as a little treat, I guess I’ll let you guys pick out what you want me to play with tonight.” Silky smooth voice coming out with a hum. He let out a low groan, already worked up from so little. 

Careful of showing any more of you, you reached over the camera to grab some lube. Setting it down and fixing your bra. It’s frilly with delicate lace and a charm in the center, matching panties to go with it as well as garters, a recent gift from one of your loyal donors. 

Safe to say that Tanner was enamored. Ignoring the chat and solely focusing on you. Wishing you were right in front of him, only showing yourself off for him. 

You continued to softly chat while Tanner took in all you had to offer. Palming the dildo and lathering it up with lube, taking an extra step and asking for orders. Letting them take the lead while you went along with it, setting yourself up with the head and slowly feeling yourself fill up. Tanner grabbed his own toy, a flesh-light that'll surely get a good use out of tonight. 

Squeaky whines filled his ears as you went all the way to the base, sitting there and telling everyone how badly you want to move. He couldn't help but imagine it was him pushing you down on his cock. Lifting you up just the slightest to feel how tight your greedy pussy is for more of him, sliding you back down to watch you squirm.  

Each time you slammed down on the slippery dildo, Tanner made sure to ram his cock harder into the flesh-light. Squishes of the toy wouldn't come close to how hot your pussy might feel but he could always dream. Each thrust got him closer to the edge, waiting off until you were cumming and squeaking from the orgasm. 

Tanner wanted to hear your eager voice in his ear, cooing his name while he got off from bossing you around. Listening to every word he said and doing so without hesitation. 

You stood on one side of the kitchen. Chaos forming over the possible mixtures of what's to come next, and none of them sounded good. The only ones that did were the water and juice, but after that who knows. They still have disgusting options, which is most definitely the chicken or steak, and tame ones like the milk and cereal. 

But for now, Swagger placed a bowl of a deep yellow colored jello. With some sort of foam looking stuff coating the top, certainly something someone shouldn’t eat.

“It kinda looks like solidified piss.” Saying to them in the background. They heard and laughed at the thought, continuing to play with it like a fidget toy. Swagger scrapped the sides and dropped it upside down onto the plate but missed, flopping on the counter instead. Breaking into sad clumps of whatever flavor he chose.

“Does it smell good?” That’s a stupid question to ask really, but curiosity got the better of you. “Wanna smell?” Isaac lifted the jello to taunt you, close to accidentally hitting you in the face with it and dropping it. Pulling down his mask and taking a cautious bite himself, chewing it for a split second before shaking his head.

Laughing at his sour reaction even after putting the mask on. And the fact that Larry took maybe the smallest bite, with no whipped cream, and began to gag on it wasn’t good either. Trying to go to the sink to spit it out, which you took as a sign to not try it. Even if it’s really tempting.

Isaac glanced at you, knowing what you’re about to do. “Don’t think about it.” Playful threats, though you took that as a dare. Craning your neck to look up at him, “Think about what?” Acting oblivious as you took a small chunk. The slimy consistency felt weird between your fingers, crumbling into smaller pieces since it’s so fragile. Plus the small added dollop of, somehow thick, Cool Whip on top wasn’t pleasing to look at either.

He didn’t say anything else while you tried a piece for yourself, regretting it immediately. After the first bite, you couldn’t handle it being in your mouth for any longer. Rushing to the bathroom with Isaac following, patting your back as you spit it out. The taste wasn’t leaving your mouth and it wanted to make you fully throw up, which you hated doing. Isaac gave a weak chuckle to ease the tension and your ragged breaths. “Want some water?” Pushing and holding your hair out of your face in case you actually do throw up.

You shook your head, gathering yourself and standing back up. His steady hand was still on your shoulder and helped with focusing on that instead of the food.

Thankfully after some time passed, you went back to being fine. Still joining in on seeing the finishing options. You did have a taste of the milk and cereal choice, finding it hard to really figure out if you liked it or not. Other than that, you put off giving the rest a chance. Until Yumi spun the wheel and landed on steak. Swagger cut thin strips so everyone had enough, including whoever else wanted to try.

You watched as Isaac and Yumi took the long pieces with no hesitation. Waiting a while before deeming it good. Confused on how fucked up either of their taste buds are with a continuous shake of your head. Isaac shrugged, “It’s not that bad.” Yumi thought the same, going for another piece like it’s normal. Saying over and over how it’s like a regular steak.

Even under his sunglasses, you could see Isaac ‘subtly’ staring you down from eating it. You shrugged as you took a small cut and sniffed, which was a bad idea, all it did was convince you to toss it in the garbage. Holding it away from your nose and almost gag and reconsider eating the damn thing. Which gives you little hope since you’re picky with food like Larry, maybe even more so, and he was debating on eating it too. 

“You’re gonna get sick,” Isaac lifted his glasses enough to see you better. You couldn’t help but stare back at him, slowly lifting the food, snack, or thing, up. His back was towards the camera and covered you as well, the two of you in the corner for some privacy. “It’s not worth it.” It's stupid, the first thing you tried was horrible so how was this going to be any better? But curiosity got the better of you, taking a bite.

The look was deceiving, with the taste ending up staying at the back of your throat. Heading right to the bathroom again with Isaac in tow, he lifted your hair while you spit the thing out. "That's awful." Looking at him with tears in your eyes. "How did you eat that?" Earning a chuckle from him. But it didn't make you feel any better, though you did enjoy the sound.

It's unfortunate luck that even with a bottle of water and more spits in the toilet, the taste wasn't going away. Adding to the sickness the first time around and sticking for good. An upset stomach that resulted in you taking up residence in one of the rooms closest to the bathroom.

Feverish pains in your stomach made it hard to move, slowly inching your way up further into the pillows. The door opened and shut with footsteps coming closer to the bed. 

“You doin’ ok?” Isaac's soft hand brushed away the stray hairs that stuck to your forehead. The warmth from him helped with the cold sweat that built up, leaning into his touch. “If you need to throw up or something, let me know,” petting your head to relieve some of the worries. “I'll come back later so get some rest.” 

He was about to get up before you caught his wrist, gripping it slightly. Even though you had a small tickle in your throat you still managed to say something, “Can you stay?” if you were in a better state then you might've been embarrassed, but you didn't care at the moment. You only wanted him to take care of you, the sickness making you delirious. 

Isaac's face grew pink, heart racing at the idea of nursing you back to health. “Yea,” shuffling closer to the middle, “As long as you want.” Groggy eyes looked into his widened ones, the two of you smiling like idiots. You buried your face in the pillows and groaned, "I feel so gross." coming back up for air and to see his face. Which had a smirk written all over it.

"What?" Squinting your eyes at him.

He gave a light shrug, "Is it a bad time to say I told you so?" You gently pushed him as he continued to tease you. Both of you laughing in the dim room. Isaac surrendered first, checking your forehead. "You're still warm." Worry in his voice.

You coughed and dry heaved. "Where you going?" Asking him as he got off the bed, sitting up. He leaned until you two were eye level, cupping your cheek with a soft grab. With a hard swallow and fierce blinking, you stared back at him. Certainly getting warmer by the second.

"Don't worry," Giving a small peck on your forehead. "I'll be back. I wanna get a cold washcloth for you. Is that fine with you?" Though there was a slight tease in the question so was the seriousness in it. Words were caught in your throat, almost robotically nodding.