dream fortress

What if, in another universe, I deserve you? Hear me out. There’s William James from the 1890s, and he coined this theory about “the multiverse” which suggests that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that can possibly exist simultaneously. Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is all happening at once in different timelines: It’s the idea of parallel universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real. Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you. Maybe there’s a universe where you hold my hand and we curl up to watch a cheesy movie at the end of a long day. Maybe there’s a universe where that’s the life I want. Where I don’t second guess everything and I’m not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. Maybe there’s a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence. Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues. A universe where we’re happy — without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure. Maybe there’s a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night and we both don’t want anything or anybody else. Where we don’t want more, we just want each other. If you think of it all this way, then it’s like neither of us did anything wrong. You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all. This is, as they say, the darkest timeline. Everywhere else, nay, “everywhen” else — us in the Civil War, us in Ancient Egypt, us in the swinging ’60s — we are happy. If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. So see, that explains everything. We’re not together anymore because of the multiverse. Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you

“The one thing you can control is how you treat yourself. And that one thing can change everything.”

me adding 8 cloves of garlic instead of the 2 required for the recipe

Florence Welch for VOGUE (2019)