Genuine-Goat

a part of adult life you never really realize as a child is the constant need for bowls in so many different sizes. you're always doing something and going "man i wish i had the right size bowl for this" no matter how many bowl sizes you have

food cravings are kind of funny to me bc it’s ur body’s last resort to convince u to properly nourish it. dragging a dollar on a string kind of scheme. ‘tuna would be sooooo good right now huh? wouldn’t you just love some yummy tuna? BOOM. u just got played bitch u were low on omega 3.’

it’s like when u sneak medicine into deli meat and give it to a dog. except ur the dog

Malicious compliance would be to start calling him by his given name

not she/they rafael “tedward” cruz

pendant?

CURSED

cock ring?

ALSO CURSED

I'm the wife in question and I cannot recommend this enough. When I told my therapist about astronaut time, she asked if she could share it with the couples she councils, so even the professionals give it two thumbs up.

If you need another reason to not hate watch this reminder that the creator is a terf

Thanks but I didn’t need any more reasons halfway through the synopsis

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

Male fashion peaked with hair metal and we've been on the decline ever since

Give me mesh shirts and crop tops and big hair and ridiculous makeup and leather pants that leave very little to the imagination

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.

the composition here is honestly close enough to a medieval painting, and just fuckin beautiful in 2138908 ways, that i think we can go ahead and hang this in a museum, thanks

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

Super fucked up that I can’t be a master-level expert in knitting AND woodworking AND silversmithing AND embroidery AND soap making AND spinning AND -

“Who would ever want to be immortal? Can you imagine the loneliness, knowing that there’s no one else like you, cursed to outlive -” shut up!! Some of us have shit to do and aren’t cowards!!

Ok yeah that lake is superior