What is your spaghetti policy here?

i had a really fucked up dream omg

p&f related?

sorry but phineas and ferb were not in it.

buford?

no characters from phineas and ferb were there.

ppl doing long distance pet play on here is so fucking funny like your dog is off its leash bro . it’s in another state

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

very sad that these posts I had assumed my beloved mutual would enjoy seem to be missed. atleast this completely random stranger with somehow similar aesthetic is enjoying them

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

Dude i want the skoodydoo🐕 giant sandwich🥪

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.