Benji

"Wildform"

A depiction of what it feels to be in-between shapes, and where I like to imagine myself in this awkward form.

Most days I feel like a weird amalgamation of body parts that don't fit into the body I have. An ever changing mass of limbs, shifting and distorting, trying to shape itself into something it physically cannot. I overcompensate for my movements, lowering my posture as if ready to drop on all fours, I duck my head an extra depth to fit my ears below an obstacle, adjust the way I sit to make space for my tail or walk on my toes to acclimate to the feeling of paws.

Some days my phantom sensations are so strong that I feel it in my entire body. It is so physically distressing to viewing a body does not match the sensation or move in the way that it should. It can be emotionally difficult to move my body and sometimes | feel stuck, unable to move at all. It is an uncomfortable disconnection between mind and body.

Japanese marten (Martes melampus) feeding on a Japanese persimmon fruit. Okutama, Tokyo, Japan.

(acrylic on a scrap wood piece, approx. 8" x 12")

edit: the original piece is available for sale on my ko-fi now!!