“Yeah, Shane Hollander’s boyfriend scored that nasty goal in the third, tying up the game, really brought the energy back in—”

“There’s a lot of good chemistry on the ice — playing on the first line with Hollander’s boyfriend and Barrett is some of the best hockey I’ve ever played.”

“Yeah, the team is really pulling together for playoffs. When you’ve got an all-star like Shane Hollander’s fiancé as captain, he really makes you believe in yourselves. What? Oh, yeah, apparently he’s been holding that out on us since January. They still call each other boyfriends, though — I think cap has a grudge against the French language.”

Ilya would want to play the role of trophy husband and be shown off to Shane's former classmates. Ex-girlfriend Jessica will be there? Hollander, I have to see her face when I show up on your arm. (No, I am not jealous over high school relationship. But does she know you shook my hand TWICE while you were still with her?) Classmates who are jealous you went to the NHL while they could not shoot a goal if their life depended on it? You are hockey god, Hollander. You MUST brag about all your trophies and cups.

Not to mention all the headcanons that every closeted gay classmate had a crush on Shane. Ilya would sniff them out in less than a minute. Oh, you think you would have had a shot with Shane Hollander if you knew he was gay back then? That's adorable. I had him obsessed with me since before you graduated with him. You Never Had A Chance.

So Shane takes the cat home and Ilya is freaked out because Shane and the cat don't get along at ALL. He raises this concern and Shane is so confused like "Wait why do you think that?? we literally love each other???" And Ilya is like "But she doesn't cuddle you or get in your lap or hang out with you and sometimes she bites and claws you like a rabid beast????" And Shane is like "Well yeah she needs her space she's not a dog. Obviously."

Meanwhile Anya is doing that collie thing of slinking around on her belly following the cat everywhere wagging her tail frantically like Pls pls pls pls pls can we be friends :) pls :) until finally the cat gets tired of beating her up and a tense truce is established.

Yuna who sobs over the son who disappeared a month after he retired.

Yuna who sobs over the son who disappeared a month after he retired.

ilya just stares. "shane. there are several blond players on out team- you got to learn their names its been a whole season."

"you know, blond, young. big headphones." gestures around his own head.

"...do you mean luca who has been to our house several times?"