Do you ever think that the dynamic between Grigori Rozanov and Irina shaped Ilya in invisible ways that he didn't understand or even realize were there until they manifested in more tangible things? Do you think when Ilya suggested to Shane in The Long Game that he sleep with other people for the experience, it was actually more than just wanting Shane to learn to enjoy pleasure outside of what Ilya could provide him, fearing thst he wasn't enough? Do you think Ilya grew up watching his parents circle around arguments and build up their resentment until they violently blew up at each other? Do you think during one of these screaming matches (that Ilya always listened in on to make sure his mama was ok and nothing bad happened while he was looking away), he heard Irina scream that Grigori stole her youth away? That she didn't know a life outside of him because he found her when she was too young? Too impressionable? Do you think in the same argument, she screamed that she wished she hadn't been naive to settle for the best available option at that vulnerable time in her life? Do you think Ilya saw her rush away from that fight with tears in her eyes, muttering to herself "I could have had so much more than this. I could have been better than this," while she didn't notice Ilya standing frozen hidden behind the doorframe? Do you think Ilya held onto those words and noticed how the resentment and anger and despair settled into Irina, but he didn't know how to help because he couldn't go back in time to prevent Irina from marrying Grigori? Do you think he felt guilty and thought that he was the anchor that dragged Irina down with Grigori? Do you think when he told Shane that he can sleep with other people, that he doesn't own Shane, he remembered Irina's words? Do you think Ilya worried that one day, while he wasn't looking, Shane would grow resentful of Ilya for taking up so much space and time in his youth? That Shane would grow to hate him as Irina did Grigori? That Shane would soon realize that he could have had more, been more, if Ilya hadn't been so greedy and stolen Shane's ability to explore his options while he was in such a developmental stage of his life? Do you think Ilya feared that he would one day stand in his living room with Shane screaming at him and look up and find Irina's ghost in Shane's eyes and words? Do you think he had nightmares about waking up and realizing he was standing in Grigori's shoes, and he had finally become what his father wanted him to be? Do you think Ilya desperately wanted to avoid that outcome, so he gave Shane permission to sleep around, so that Shane wouldn't feel tricked into settling for Ilya? So that Shane, as a scared, closeted athlete, wouldn't feel that he settled for what was available to him at the time, which just incidentally happened to be Ilya? Do you think giving Shane that supposed freedom was a subconscious mental calculation that even if the odds were that Shane might find someone he liked better than Ilya, it was preferable to the horrifying possibility that he would stifle Shane with the weight of everything that came with Ilya and isolate Shane onto the path that Irina walked? Do you think about the fact that Ilya probably never truly grasped that he ever made that mental calculation in the first place?