it's always you

and it's totally fine.

there's no feeling of "we HAVE TO because our time is limited and when else will we get to." there's no "well i really don't want to turn him down because what if he's upset and likes me less after." there's no worry of "well i guess i can just offer to get him off because then this won't be a waste of his time at least."

they make out a little, there's some little fizzle of want (because when ISN'T there lol), but one of them just got off a plane after a long ass day and keeps having to pull back for yawns that get increasingly more obvious despite their best efforts, and there's just a very comfortable understanding of it's okay for nothing else to happen. there's time. no one is going to be mad or going on the hunt for someone else to fuck. there'll probably be a little teasing, but there's no real bite in it, and the other person would decline if the tired one DID try to rally after the teasing. what's on the agenda is just eating, showering, and going to sleep. and that's okay.

HEATED RIVALRY — DAY 1

Recalling the first day of filming, Tierney says that after seeing the pair excel in the emotional wringer, his own “nerves were out the window, I knew I could throw anything at those guys.”

Not “My brother is terrible”

It’s “My brother is scared” and it’s because he’s scared that he acts terrible.

From what the audience has seen of his brother, he doesn’t deserve that kind of grace from Ilya. And yet, Ilya can look beyond his brother’s actions and words and see what’s at the core of him: a scared boy.

And then Ilya says, “It makes me terrible back.” Ilya doesn’t give himself the grace of saying something like, “I’m scared too. And it makes me terrible back.” Only that he acted terribly back at his brother. Yet all we’ve seen from Ilya is give his brother chance after chance and the only time we’ve seen him snap was when his brother insulted Svetlana.

Another example is saying his mother wasn’t weak for committing suicide but in TLG he regards his mental illness as something he needs to ‘fix’ to be good enough for Shane.

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