it's always you

nothinggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)

Shane Hollander, ten minutes after winning a Stanley Cup, actively being celebrated by his team, soaked in champagne and hornier than he’s ever been in his entire life: I need to text him. I need to text my no strings attached fuckbuddy arch-rival. This reveals nothing deeper about myself. This is just the best moment of my life and I would like to share it with the man whose dick I suck four times a year and who I have no feelings for whatsoever. The only thing that could make this night better is Ilya Rozanov inside me on the day I won a Stanley Cup (Who said that?) but I’m NORMAL and actually I HATE HIM and it means nothing that the only thing I want to do after winning the Stanley Cup is touch Ilya Rozanov’s dick (Who SAID that?) But he’s in FUCKASS BOSTON so instead of celebrating with my team or meeting a hookup to go home with because I just WON A STANLEY CUP I am going to text Ilya. Do you think he’ll sext me (WHO SAID THAT??) I deserve it. I won a Stanley Cup.

basically my favorite thing to do is imagine The Character in some sort of situation of terrible emotional turmoil. it’s like enrichment for me

mutuals let's sit at the end of the dock and splash our feet in the water while we watch the sunset

My Shane is an enabler. He’s gonna roll his eyes and tell ilya to fuck himself, but he loves that shit. He’s icing Ilya injuries after a fight barely hiding the fact that he found it funny. He’s providing information for chirps. He’s joining in on the fun cause he loves his husband. Idk man I just don’t think Shane, who fell in love with the NHLs biggest asshole is gonna be annoyed when he’s being an asshole.

day 1 of being normal about shane hollander

ok so i have bad news