I kill for purple

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

honestly missionaries are evil. the idea of traveling the world to tell people Who Didnt Fucking Ask that their beliefs are wrong in the hopes that theyll adopt your beliefs seems sinister

The Christians in the notes whining are so absolutely stupid

I don’t even want to talk about how they specifically target poor people and hold basic necessities over their heads in exchange for faith.

My culture and our religious practices (Inuit) have been decimated by Christianity and I fucking hate pretending its a neutral thing.

Christians in the notes still don’t get it. They’re saying that missionaries aren’t that bad bc they’re just trying to save all ppl and they’ve started quoting bible verses and whatnot but here’s the thing: I. Don’t. Believe. In. That. Like your beliefs and scriptures are non applicable to me (and everyone else who isn’t Christian, or at least abrahamic) bc we’re not christian and I literally don’t care if you think we “need to be saved from Satan” or smg bc frankly, it’s not your business and that “well meaning, innocent” intention is still forcing your religion onto us. OP is right. Missionaries are evil. Leave other religions tf alone.

This looks like a Buggs Bunny episode.

“I came here to celebrate your loving relationship but actual demonstrations of that love gross me out so please, when you’re kissing your new spouse, remember to always be conscious of the fact that your love for each other is a bit icky and we don’t really want to see it.” 

*goes to a same-gender wedding* umm tag ur PDA

Will there be a drag show?