Integrovaný dopravní systém Olomouckého kraje

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

the catgirl princess decrees that you must show sincere appreciation when she does a big stretch now. she's tired of doing *such* a good big stretch and then nobody appreciating how big the stretch was..,..,.

upozorňujeme cestující, že tento spoj dále pokračuje jako linka 24, do zastávky parkoviště nemocnice - aspera

upozorňujeme cestující - nic konkrétního, jen si dávejte bacha

upozorňujeme - je jedno jestli jste cestující, nikdo není v bezpečí

upozorňujeme cestující na výluku. ne, výluka už není aktuální. to jenom abyste věděli že nějaká byla

upozorňujeme cestující že máme pantery. nic mimořádného, jen chceme poflexit že jich máme fakt hodně. a jezdí do brna přes břeclav z nějakého důvodu.

this is like the green comics if the symbolism wasn't even symbolism anymore its just as overt as it needs to be

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I went to school with a girl named Madison who was born in late 1984, which I guess means her parents were some real early adopter mermaid fuckers

wait fuck I forgot her twin sister's name was Ariel

Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.

Poob has it for you.

oh my god a poobling

LIES AND DECEIT

A THOUSAND YEARS IN JAIL FOR MOTHER

Jail!!! Jail for mother!!! Jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!

First of all, how dare you!

Watch me use this one simple trick to become a millionaire

babygirl you won't believe the amount of popular things i don't know

food fact: if you make a pure salad you can use virgin olive oil. But if you're frying something you must use the slut olive oil because it can take the heat.

I remember meeting a guy at a bar a year or so ago who told me he worked at the international consortium that does the porn parodies of all the top-grossing film releases. He said that the whole Barbenheimer situation presented his combine with some spectacular highs and lows. Because he said that with Barbie, right, the thing about Barbie is that there's already kind of a three-way ideatic, structural parallel between the curated artificiality of Barbie as a children's toy, the curated artificiality of Barbie as a mass market film, and the curated artificiality of pornography as a genre. Add on top of that that Barbie as a film is already feeling this tension, right where it's trying to be about a character graduating from the platonic sexlessness of a children's franchise to the functional-and-frank sexuality of being a living human woman, but it's also being bogged down in the "Everyone-is-beautiful-no-one-is-horny" aesthetic restrictions of any contemporary big-budget mass-market film so the two states end up looking pretty similar, he said. I mean the film itself is very aware of that tension, right, with that joke about how "casting Margot Robbie is the wrong move if you want to make that point," all that jazz. So, all that in mind, Barbie-themed pornography, he said, is in a weird way actually kind of complementary to the extant project, gesturing at unaddressed tensions and ideas, a dark mirror, the shadow self it wants to deny but can't, there's a lot of room to play in the space. He used the adjective "Lynchian" a couple of times, he seemed super stoked, he was talking with his hands. Oppenheimer, on the other hand. Oppenheimer he said presented a problem. Because obviously you can eroticize the detonation of an atomic bomb, we're all probably three mutuals removed from someone on this site who does exactly that, but obviously that's a niche market, and moreover it's a market that has a ton of overlap with high-minded thinkers who treat the historical use of atomic weapons against Japan with the level of gravity that atrocity demands. So they were stuck. They were really stuck. He told me that they'd been pulling their hair out for months trying to square the circle and all they had to show for it was a big whiteboard with the phrase "Grope-nheimer" written on it

I really shock myself with the strange instinctual habits I still have from being bullied like the other day I was hanging out with my friends and they agreed to head back to one of their houses and someone asked me if I was coming and I said “oh I didn’t know I was invited” and she was like “…why wouldn’t you be invited?”. And I really stood there for a minute like.. you’re right why wouldn’t I be invited. It probably came off as self deprecation or something but I really did assume that for some reason out of a group of people I’ve known for years going to a house I’ve been to many times I for some reason I was specifically the only person not invited. Turns out being excluded and mentally tormented as a teenager sometimes still effects the way you think in adulthood who could’ve guessed

travelling back to the paleolithic era to explain to a neanderthal that in the future there will be food that is simultaneously disgusting and also the best tasting food you've ever eaten. the neanderthal nods and says "oh yeah we have that" and leads me to a clearing in the woods where a perfectly normal mcdonalds sits.