are you aromantic or arospec? aplatonic or aplspec? asexual or acespec? are you looking for an understanding community of aspec people?

then aspec alcove might be the right place for you!

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this brand-new discord server is 16+ and made by and for aspec people. it features:

💜 queer/aspec specific channels, including restricted channels specifically for aro, apl, and ace identity

💙 useful bots, including pk and tupperbox for systems

💚 plenty of self-assignable roles

💜 a space free of amatonormativity and the idea that any kind of attraction is more inherently important than another

💙 a welcoming, understanding community of aspec people (yes, the server is aspec only. allies are important and great but not what we’re looking for with this server!)

💚 a simple verification system to deter trolls and prevent raids

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so if this all sounds good to you, go ahead and join! we’d love to have you <3

I'm kicking off our week of aromantic spectrum goodness with a tutorial for two bracelets using glass seed beads, chain, cord and assorted jewellery findings.

These bracelets are quick to make, customisable for any wrist (or ankle) size and will suit most striped pride flags!

People worry too much about how others identify. I promise it will NOT kill you if someone identifies as a lesboy. If you genuinely feel invalidated by them then thats something you should work on. Now im not saying you cant have your own opinion, but let’s be open minded here and lets respect them rather than hating on them. 🤷

No offense taken, it can seem a little odd to someone who hasn’t seen stuff like that before, and thank you for asking respectfully! It’s true that gender and sexual and/or romantic orientation are two different dimensions of a person, and operate independently of each other. Presuming someone’s sexuality because of their gender or vice versa is shitty and incorrect. However, because of the society we live in, which ties sexuality and gender together, there are many cases where gender can be affected by sexuality. Within those, it’s a different experience for everyone, fully on an individual basis.

A quick rundown on gender first: It’s how you express yourself, how you inwardly feel about societal norms, and the idea/concept of yourself that you have. It’s why gender questioning is such an exhausting process that has many twists and turns (but you come out of it knowing and expressing yourself so much better). Those are hard things to know, and no one can know them but you! So gender is an internal concept (and a societal construction at that, in that what is a “man” and what is a “woman” change over time with the culture). It’s also different for everyone. If you take two cisgender boys, they’re both going to have different ways of feeling/being their gender and how they feel like boys.

In addition, presentation doesn’t equal gender! Presentation can include your clothes, accessories, mannerisms, name, pronouns… basically what you “present” to the world. Is a transgender boy who wants to present masculine but presents feminine because they’re closeted any less trans? Nope! Is a trans boy who acts feminine that isn’t closeted any less trans, or any less a boy? Nope! This is because how a person presents is often an extension of their gender, but there is not necessarily a correlation. People who don’t present according to their typical gender role are called gender nonconforming (gnc), no matter their gender identity. A cis girl or a trans girl wearing tuxedos would both be gnc. Presentation is very important for many trans and nonbinary people, as it’s how they express themselves and their gender, and can be used to create gender euphoria and/or alleviate gender dysphoria.

Alright, now that we’ve had The Gender Crash Course, let’s get to the actual answer to your question. Continued under the cut.

(Don’t reblog with “I’m white, but…” because frankly, I do not gaf!)

Used to look like:

Username likely to change again at some point but probably not anytime soon