LeAnne Marie McPherson

June 14, 2023

Introduction: 

In this exclusive interview with Nathan Hanover, I took a deep dive into the world of music design and life as a composer. Hanover is a composer who specializes in creating music for video games, podcasts, and interactive media. His music is everywhere, highlights include The Joy of Creation, a Five Nights at Freddy’s fan game; Dialtown, a phone dating simulation game; Just Roll with It, a Dungeons and Dragons podcast; and most recently the soundtrack of Generation Loss. Hanover has an Undergraduate Degree from the University Centre of Colchester in Film Music and Soundtrack Production.

Photo of Generation Loss logo

Generation Loss:

Generation Loss is an episodic horror semi-scripted live-stream show. The show has had a remarkable impact on the lives of many in such a short time, it’s been a week since the finale. 

McPherson: How would you describe the start of your involvement in Generation Loss? What was the choice to work on it like? Did you know much about it beforehand?

Hanover: I knew about the project very late compared to the rest of the Generation Loss community who have followed the project for around two plus years. After working with one of the members of the Just Roll With It team to compose the soundtrack for their horror Dungeons and Dragons podcast, Blood in the Bayou, I became aware of Generation Loss and planned to reach out to the creator for possible employment in the show.

Surprisingly however weeks later I got a private message in my Twitter inbox from said creator of Generation Loss who had streamed a video game earlier that year which I also was involved in called Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim. He had enjoyed the music in this game a lot, and once my work finished on Blood in the Bayou, its creator suggested me to the Generation Loss creator, complimenting my music, my turnaround time, etc. So, while I planned to contact them, they contacted me. {Ranboo, the Generation Loss creator, uses he/they pronouns.}

McPherson: G.L. has such an already iconic story and aesthetic. What was composing music for it like? Did you find it limiting?

Hanover: As you noted above, I have a Bachelors’s with an honors degree in Film Music & Soundtrack Production however mostly specialize in Video Game music, this project was exciting for me as this was technically the first time I had put my degree to the test, this wasn’t a game. This project was a mix of live theatrical performances and pre-recorded scenes, there weren’t any concept art, cutscenes, or shots I could look upon to brainstorm my ideas as 90% of the show was live, other than looking at the set of the Cabin, the already released marketing, and the script, I had to conjure ideas I thought would fit into the scenes I had built in my imagination.

With the marketing already released and trailers of the show on the internet, stock music had been used of an 80s FM (Frequency Modulation Synthesis) Synthesizer repeating a dissonant stabbing chord pattern, the creator of Generation Loss enjoyed this sound, and I used this as the basis of my soundtrack, taking this idea and creating my own. Generation Loss’s theme includes two main motifs, the stabbing chord pattern, and an arpeggiated sequence of this same chord. The chord I decided to use was an A Minor with a sharp 7th (the G# note in this context) creating an AmMaj7 (A Minor Major 7 chord), in the correct context this dissonant chord can become bittersweet, tugging at the heart, however putting the 7th at the bottom of the chord creates a Minor 2nd clash between the G# and the A, always giving that sense of unease and raw dissonance. This chord progression and the arpeggio outlining the chord show up all over the soundtrack, even hidden in other character themes.

I played around with modulation effects, granular synthesis, and stuttering glitch effects to make the soundtrack sound as unique as it does, this was quite fun for me as most of my other work has been long-drawn-out ambient pieces, Jazz or Swing, or even Orchestral. So to work in this retro 80s aesthetic, but to corrupt it in such a way where it was listenable, but unusual as if the act of Generation Loss had taken effect on the soundtrack was enjoyable to me and opened the door to truly unique ideas.

McPherson: G.L. has some of the hardest-hitting emotions in horror. Your music is a significant part of that impact. How do you do it – how do you create such emotional music?

Hanover: For me, to make emotional music work I have to determine what notes I’m going to use, what scale to write in, and what directions I want to take the piece, but the key factor people may not think of is not what’s written in the music, but what’s written around the music or what the music is actually being paired to. For example, in episode 1 of Generation Loss, there is a mixture of unease, ambiance, and comedic music, when the main character goes into the basement the music is a long drawn-out ambiance, unsettling effects, and detuned piano, but the scene had been juxtaposed by a comedic cooking segment only moments ago. The tonal whiplash in the music makes the scene hit hard, one moment they are cooking slime for a slime demon, and the next they are exploring a dusty basement with literal skeletons. Episodes 2 and 3 were similar but the style had changed, the ambiance had been removed in favor of SAW-esque pieces, driving drums, electronic stings, etc. but still included elements of comedy, “The Lasor Room” for example inspired by old 70s spy films, juxtaposed by the driving rhythm that scored the scene moments before where the characters begged for their lives on a carousel.

McPherson: What, if any, were some of your stresses or worries while making the soundtrack? In contrast, what was the most enjoyable part of the process?

Hanover: My biggest worry was the deadline, while I started the project in January 2023, I had only created the main theme and a random draft of an idea that eventually became the opening to “Live or Die”, my work truly began at the end of March and had around 2 months to create the soundtrack, due to how tight the deadline was I was writing music days before the first episodes premier and is why the soundtrack has a delayed release as online stores request music to be submitted 3-4 weeks before release. I found feedback quite hard as usually I work 1-to-1 with the employer to show off drafts and brainstorm ideas, track titles, etc. but this project was different due to how busy everyone was, I’d essentially write several pieces a week, get feedback, and then create edits to be greenlit the following week and repeat. No one had time to sit down and brainstorm so a lot of the feedback was in bursts but due to a timezone difference, this meant I’d get feedback very late into the day for me to act upon the following morning.

In contrast, I feel my favorite part of the process was to see how excited the creators and actors got about my music which encouraged me to create better and better pieces. One of the actors even now talks about my music and how passionate he is about my soundtrack which is nice to see. Another thing I enjoyed was hiding stuff IN the soundtrack itself, secret codes, visual art IN the music, and hiding motifs in other pieces to show the connection between tracks/themes, the Snowfall Jingle motif crops up in a few pieces, but the Generation Loss motif shows up even more.

McPherson: Did the soundtrack go through any major changes before it was finalized? What song was made first? Which was last? How long does a song normally take you to make?

Hanover: I don’t believe the soundtrack went through any major changes as once I had the style of the project down, I could work within those boundaries however tracks had little changes along the way, even a few cut tracks of failed ideas. The first track I wrote was in January 2023 which was the Generation Loss theme which went through 2 iterations before landing on the one used in the show. The last track was the Button cutscene which was also the longest to create due to severe technical difficulties with the DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) I use which doesn’t score to video well. Most tracks can take anywhere from a day to create to a week, the “Achievement Unlocked!” Jingle naturally only took me a few hours to create and finish as it was only 3 seconds long and is an altered version of the Generation Loss motif, however, “The Button” took me around a week to create and finish to the point I was working on it the day before episode 1’s premier.

McPherson: Do you have any behind-the-scenes stories about Generation Loss?

Hanover: I sadly don’t other than the coincidence of myself wanting to reach out to the Generation Loss creator only for him to actually reach out to me weeks later following his previous encounter with Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim and the suggestions from his friend who hired me for Blood in the Bayou.

Photo of Just Roll With It logo.

Previous Work: 

Prior to Generation Loss Hanover has made music for many video games and series. One, my favorite Dungeon and Dragons podcast, Just Roll With It. Just Roll With It features many online personalities as they play custom D&D campaigns together. Another is Dialtown, a phone dating videogame.

McPherson: What has working on JRWI’s sound been like? How have the different campaigns influenced your process? Do you have a favorite?

Hanover: Working with Just Roll With It was by pure luck if I’m honest, the creator of Blood in the Bayou made a Tweet searching for a composer to work on his project, and one of my friends suggested the link to me, I’m quite pessimistic so I replied to the tweet not expecting any response, but my track “Blood Sugar” had sealed the deal for him and I was hired! Blood in the Bayou was exciting to work on and my first foray into Podcast music. Its deadline was harsher than Generation Loss which made me pivot the soundtrack halfway through, instead of writing music to the episodes themselves to creating looping music like I would a Video Game for the editor to add in and swap on their choosing. Once Blood in the Bayou was complete, the main JRWI member approached me to work on their main campaign, Riptide, a sea shanty pirate podcast with over 100 episodes! Riptide took me a while to get into the swing of the style I and the JRWI team wanted, having just came from BitB my brain had to readjust the musical style to fit this pirate aesthetic, initially there was a lot of trial and error when creating its theme and the mood but luckily since the team uses Video Game music as their background music, I had a plethora of examples to build upon. I feel I enjoy Riptide the most out of the 2 as while it’s pirate music, it has its own universe where genres exist together so for one track I can include fully orchestral, and then write a Punk Rock piece next which despite being so different, the variety of the world and it’s sound allows it to gel well.

McPherson: Dialtown is such a unique game, and your music plays a great part in that. How did you make such a massive soundtrack?

Hanover: I work quite quickly when I create music, I know FL Studio like the back of my hand which allows me to be extremely efficient, Dialtown was also in development for almost 3 years which gave me more than enough time to research, plan and write its music. Dialtown’s soundtrack was fun to work on as like Riptide, was quite diverse in its sonic style, mixing Jazz and Swing, Orchestral, and some ambiance together throughout, Dialtown is also a visually unique game which allowed the music I created to be unorthodox in its creation. Unusual chord progressions to uncommon tonal modulations and creative ways to use the most unusual instruments in its setting, from Camera clicks, snaps, and hits as the percussive basis of “Oliver, aspiring filmmaker, qualified goblin” imitating drums, to the vibrato of the Stylophone’s in “Karen, so, so dunn”.

McPherson: How has the experience of working on so many different projects been for you? Do you have a favorite? Which was the most challenging?

Hanover: A lot of my work has been building experience for my future work, despite starting in 2015, I feel the last 5 years or so have been building up to the start of my career, and the initial 5 years were portfolio-building, I keep my early music up as an example to show off my blunders, from weird mixing, terrible melodies to ideas that worked in theory but failed in practice, but I also keep these early blunders public to show off how my style as grown. I get complimented on my leitmotif skills and how to tie a motif together to be recognizable and fun to listen to, but if you look back at my early 2015-2017 work, you can see that those skills were in their infancy.

I don’t feel I have a favorite project as I see my work from the creators’ point of view, not the listeners so I can hear all the imperfections or things I feel I could have done better on, but every so often I’ll go back to a track of mine to listen to, to re-experience it, but there’s always a threshold that is hit once I stop listening or thinking of my previous pieces in favor of my newer upcoming music.

McPherson: Is there anything you’d change about your work?

Hanover: I like this question as the simple answer would be “No”, but for the long answer, I feel anyone who creates art is a bit of a perfectionist who won’t let go of a particular piece until it’s perfect and I feel like that’s the same for me, I don’t release a piece until I feel it’s perfect At that time. The catch musically is my knowledge is ever expanding, I don’t think you ever stop learning as it’s such a massive topic to the point even individual genres have their own information and knowledge on what makes that individual genre work. There’s also equipment, I have far better equipment, knowledge, and technology than I had 5 years ago, a track I believed was perfect 5 years ago won’t be perfect now and as such, every so often when the mood strikes me, I’ll revisit a track to rearrange and update. I was going to do this with Dialtown’s soundtrack but knew it would be far too costly and time-consuming, but I have done it with my standalone tracks such as “The Castle (2016)” and “Return to the Castle (2018)”, “Autumn (2016) and “From Summer to Winter (2021)”.

Photos of Nathan’s cats Milly and Myrtle.

Personal Life and Thoughts:

Wanting to know more about Nathan outside of his work? In this section we talked advice and his personal life!

McPherson: Do you have advice for other musicians? Do you have any advice for college students?

Hanover: It’ll sound pessimistic, but I feel the best advice I could give is the saying “Don’t put all your eggs into one basket” I’m unsure if this is a cultural saying but essentially don’t funnel all your time, effort and money into one thing. When I first started, I was embarrassed at the thought of music NOT being my primary job and put all my time, effort, and money into it and then realized how BIG the music industry is and how saturated it is more so from the recent Pandemic. Due to this it hindered my developments greatly, couldn’t pay rent, couldn’t fund myself further, etc. because no one was hiring and there were literally thousands of composers out there all wanting a piece of the pie. Naturally feeling deflated by this I’d look on the internet for interviews of bigger composers and what their advice was which always boiled down to “If you continue and do your best you’ll make it” but I feel this is survivors bias, having seen just how BIG the industry is, I feel I’m not even scratching the surface yet.

But I soon learned a lot of their advice came down to one (or more) of three things, Luck, connections, and being in the right place at the right time, one great composer I’ve always been inspired by recounts how he would submit his portfolio to X company for months with radio silence, until he knew a friend who worked at the company who was willing to show his portfolio to executives, eventually getting hired (Connections). Another worked in a music store testing music software, and one day a pair of company executives entered and were surprised to see the music coming from the music software was from the store clerk and offered him the job at the company eventually getting hired (Luck + Right place at the right time). I’m nowhere as big as the previous examples but to use my own example of how I came to work on Generation Loss really starts in 2016 when I worked on two Video Games, Porkchop’s Adventure and Porkchop’s Horror Show, that creator knew the creator of Dialtown: Phone Dating Sim, which got streamed by the creator of Generation Loss which allowed me to be hired thanks to the luck of my hiring for Blood in the Bayou, and thanks to the right connections, allowing me to work on Generation Loss.

I started my portfolio in college, and I feel from my experience building your portfolio as early as possible and getting as many connections as you can from networking as possible is the way to go, My career started by sending a Direct Message to someone on DeviantArt, the creator for a Five Nights at Freddy’s fangame called The Joy of Creation when I was 15, having no idea it would get as popular as it has become to be picked up by the creator of Five Nights at Freddy’s himself soon allowing me to move away from fangames to original IPs. Don’t be embarrassed or afraid to work a second job, and do not make your music career the primary career unless you happen to be born with a lot of money and open opportunities already, it’s oversaturated and pays poorly, work a primary job to help fund your music career, and eventually with luck it may tip the scales where your music career becomes your primary career. This also applies to session musicians, I used to start by playing gigs in bars before jumping to music composition, and even now work Part Time as a composer, naturally, I won’t disclose my primary job but it helps pay the bills, keeping the lights on, while my music income pays for its own bills, and I hope over time I can buy a separate place to have as my own studio but I hindered myself from the start by putting all my eggs into one basket believing if I just funneled as much of my time, effort and money into it, it would simply work. I would class myself as an indie composer and I hope my work can inspire people, but I’m not at the stage where it’s 100% sustainable and it may not be for another 5 years, there still may be a point where I simply stop creating, I’d like to hope not, but it’s never a 0% chance.

McPherson: Are you enjoying your career?

Hanover: I’d say so, but I can be pessimistic so I don’t have the brightest of outlooks, but that is mainly to do with my Anxiety and Depression which I suffer from, music can sometimes be an escape for me, and something I deeply enjoy thanks to my Autism.

McPherson: Generation Loss has recently caused a lot of new people to become fans of your work. How has that affected you?

Hanover: It’s been exciting if I’m honest, I’ve always had a small following over the last 5-7 years or so, but this has been the biggest reaction I’ve had and I hope it continues after the release of the Generation Loss soundtrack. People joke about me simply appearing in comments and scaring them with my presence (which I find extremely funny it’s now become a little internet meme) I am just incredibly grateful for the support and attention, as you can probably tell from the previous 2 questions, under the online presence I’m not the brightest nor happiest of the bunch so it’s nice to see people genuinely enjoying the music enough to pay and help fund me as a creator. I hope it doesn’t sound greedy but it all helps go towards my progress and sustainability, I know money can be a taboo topic in the industry, everyone has to have some heartfelt reason as to why they do what they do, and I guess I do to…but money is also nice. It’s not talked about but it’s fundamental, if all my music income suddenly stopped, other than the passion, nothing else would fuel my creations and I don’t think the taxman or landlord would allow “passion” as a payment option, a lot of passion was used in those first 5 years building my portfolio and earning little to nothing in order to try and get myself off the ground.

McPherson: What would you like the readers to know about you?

Hanover: One of my favorite colors is pink, and I have two cats, Milly (10), Myrtle (4) which you can see me post on my Twitter every so often, I firmly believe Trans rights are human rights! Happy Pride Month!

You can support Nathan Hanover’s music at:

Bandcamp: https://nhsynthonicorchestra.bandcamp.com/

Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/nhsynthonicorchestra

Website: https://nathanhanover.com/

September 15, 2019

The Facebook event page “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” has, within the last five days since its creation, has gained over 2 million people publicly claiming that they will be partaking in a raid of Area 51 on Friday, Sept. 20, 2019 at 3 a.m. – 6 a.m.PDT,  with another million marking themselves as interested in the event.  

The personal goals of these 2 million vary, but the page states the event’s goal: “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we *naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.”

The event has three official hosts. “Sh*tposting cause im in shambles” a page ironically listed as a religious organization; “SmyleeKun,” a gaming video creator and “The Hidden Sound,” an event planner from Little Rock, Arkansas. I reached out to all three for comment, none have responded.

One might assume that this is a joke, that no one would do this.  Well, the military isn’t taking that chance, an Air Force spokesperson told NPR in a July 15, 2019 statement, “Any attempt to illegally access the area is highly discouraged.” 

Why wouldn’t they take it as a joke? It is, in my honest opinion, that people will show up, not the whole 2 million, but a sizeable amount.  They will show up to be there and witness history, to witness how far we’re willing to go, but most importantly, for the clout. 

The easiest way to define clout is fame and power concerning social media. Simply being at Area 51 and posting photos of yourself there could launch you and help you gain 1,000 of followers. This is why our generation won’t stay away. This is why we’ll be out there.

An EMD music festival called “Alienstock” has been scheduled in the little town of Rachel, NV as a safe way for the Area 51 Raiders to enjoy the weekend. It is free to the public but camping and parking will run you $80 – $130. No glass, fire or weapons may be brought onto the festival grounds. Food vendors, water and porta potties are present.

Official merch is being sold at https://www.stormarea51.us.

* “Naruto Run refers to the unique running style of the protagonist Naruto Uzumaki in the Japanese anime series Naruto, where he is often depicted sprinting with his arms stretched behind him.” Definition via https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/naruto-run

November 9, 2019

The following story is one reporter’s experience following the August shooting in the Oregon District. It does not represent the views of the Clarion as a whole.

I believe there will never truly be peace until poverty and other major inequalities become eradicated.  Right now, the only way peace can be achieved is fighting the people who cause inequalities to thrive. The rampant gun violence throughout America is making peace impossible.  So, I did what I believe is necessary.

I’ve always been sick of the lies from the White House, but once I heard that Trump would be coming to our mourning city as a PR stunt; I was enraged.  I couldn’t sit idly by while my people were suffering and being fed empty promises from a corrupt businessman. So, I went to protest.  

It was a hot summer day when I arrived outside of Miami Valley Hospital, the hospital where my own life began, the hospital I — in some primal way — felt was under attack.  Sweat beaded on my forehead as I joined a decent crowd of people with a sidewalk separating two halves of the crowd.

One side, people holding MAGA banners and signs welcoming the president.  The other, my side, holding everything from “Welcome to Toledo” to “Veterans Against Assault Rifles.” It was surreal, unlike the KKK counter-protest the crowds were just about the same size.  

Then time itself froze as I caught a man with mirror sunglasses and a suit staring right at me.  He briskly walked to the black van stationed across the road in the parking spots.

I have never seen a secret service member before, the fear and curiosity I felt in that single moment solidified to me what I was doing was real and important.       

The most impactful moment in my fight for America to become peaceful was ironically when I screamed “DO SOMETHING” at the top of my lungs to the presidential motorcade as I saw Trump’s silhouetted arm wave from behind the darkened glass. 

He was hidden from the public, refusing to drive down the Oregon District. A moment that was anything but peaceful, one where tensions were high and people were shouting at each other. This is what I’m positive about, this is what I’m optimistic about. Sometimes, in dire times, resistance is necessary for peace. The resistance is here. Change can happen, all it takes is one movement, one voice.

November 26, 2019

As a person who still hasn’t grown out of their emo phase, my perspective on My Chemical Romance’s (MCR to fans) reunion is one of relative rareness. I was eleven when my best friend really exposed me to the scene, before that I still loved Fall Out Boy (FOB) for “Thnks fr th mmrs” and Panic at the Disco! for “I Write Sins Not Tragedies,” off of their 2005 album. 

But being a little kid, I hadn’t experienced their albums or much of anything like that. If it wasn’t on the radio, I didn’t know it existed.

My BFF’s emo band of choice? MCR. She sent me links to MCR albums on YouTube and it became a great pastime of ours to discuss and debate them. Her favorite album was “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge,” she practically lived in her t-shirt with the album logo in spite of it attracting taunts.

My favorite was (and still is) “Danger Days” for it’s bright and colorful fun sound almost hiding it’s anti-capitalist and anti-war themes. We would make fan fiction featuring ourselves as KillJoy characters. Exceptionally dorky, I know. But hey, we’re both great writers and it was fun.

In those early days of my participation in the MCR fandom life was great. She and I went from friends to best friends. We were having so much fun from this common interest.

Songs from “Conventional Weapons,” a project that was scrapped with tracks that had never been heard were being released to the public! Everything looked like it was only going up!

Everything changed on March 22, 2013. I remember her calling me, weeping. At first, I thought it was a joke. It obviously wasn’t. To say we were a wreck was an understatement. Here was a band that had given us everything, eloquent ways for us to express our sadness, and identity, and poof, it was just gone.

A year later we got the greatest hits completion, “May Death Never Stop You.” It was a small spark that kept die-hard fans hopeful that a reunion could happen. Conspiracy theories floated around for the next six years..

Things like, “Danger Days” takes place in 2019, MCR might return then! Gerard said they wanted to be like Smashing Pumpkins, who took a six-year break. And the absolute best, the band could avoid becoming a teenager (song reference) by taking a break on their 12th year and returning on their 19th. The shocking thing is, that as laughed at as these theories were, they were true!

The fandom was burnt before. Back in 2016, Warner Music decided to post a teaser of MCRX, I lost my mind thinking it was a reunion. We all, us fans, went crazy. Once we found out that MCRX was nothing but a hits album, oh boy, Warner Music must’ve had thousands of hate messages.

But I wouldn’t trade this pain for anything else in the world. Some of my greatest internet friends came from the fandom. The lack of official content forced fans to become creative. If you need me, I’ll be throwing on eyeliner and joining The Black Parade once again.

December 5, 2019

The Melon Music Awards aired on Nov. 30. in Seoul. During the awards show, Bangtan Sonyeondan [방탄소년단] almost exclusively known as BTS here in the west, performed a 40 minute set of “Intro: Persona” “Boy in Luv” “Boy With Luv” “Mikrokosmos” a dance break, and “Dionysus.”

The opening video shows the members resting on a sofa, similar to the “I NEED U” music video, hinting at BTS’s fictional story universe and that this concert might be a reflection of it. The video features motifs of lights and shadows, making fans excited that the potential albums of “Map of the Soul: Shadow” or “Map of the Soul: Ego” might be confirmed soon. It ends with Rap Monster (RM) being the only one awake, playing with a lighter.

RM starts the performance with a solo, “Intro: Persona.” His rapping is spectacular. The stage is themed like a Korean classroom and was littered with clues about fan-speculations and references to their old songs. The clack board was made to look like the scribbles of a mad man. Once RM finishes, the rest of BTS joined him for “Boy in Luv,” a 2014 song from the Skool Luv Affair era. A surprising throwback and a hint that this concert was more than meets the eye.

The song jumps into BTS’s 2019 megahit, “Boy With Luv” which is a direct continuation of the story. The screen changes from a school to the iconic movie theater from the 2019 video. Since Halsey was over here in the States, the boys sing the high notes alongside her backing track. Jimin kisses a rose and throws it into the crowd, triggering rose petals to blast out of cannons into the front rows. The boys held up hand signs of the number two, again hinting at the Ego album.

Then, everything stops and fades to black. RM speaks over a soft piano, as the white text is the only thing visible: “In the beginning, I did not shine so bright. I only knew to do my best to shine. But we found each other and our universe was born. Now let us shine on each other.” The music swells, “We’re no longer small. Just as the universe expands,” The camera cuts to the crowd filled with lights, “Our universe would last forever.”

The song “Mikrokosmos” starts, the staging mimics the Love Yourself: Speak Yourself tour, the projection and screens of stars make it appear like they were floating in the galaxy. At the softest part of the song, the stage blacks out and shows only a screen with the words “I love you” in 100s of different languages.

The video from the opening continues, Jungkook woke up and look at old TVs playing old BTS music videos. He says, “I’m still looking for who I used to be,” the camera pans back to his face, he smiles, and says, “who I am now.” RM smiles and hugs him. Shadows fill and become the other band members. Their silhouettes are overlaid with the scenes of their deaths from the “Fake Love” music video. It cuts to them all standing in the living room, the TV shows static, as Jungkook says, “Who I will be in the future.” It zooms in on his eye and showing space. The BTS logo flashes.

A greek horn blazes, like a warning before, their song “Dionysus.” Greek imagery is everywhere. The screen is lifted and we see men highlighted by a dark red light. They march like soldiers, and people on spinning rings drop for the ceiling. V raises from the ground in a white and gold suit leaning heavily into Apollo imagery. His dance is dark and moody set to an old BTS song “No More Dream.”

Then it shifts to Jin, in an all-white suit, on a horse figurine before dancing to an orchestrated new version of “Danger” as his imagery leads to hot debates and the two conclusions that he is representing either Athena or Ares. His dancing is his controlling of an army to fight.

Everything fades to blue as a long flowing sheet is ran across stage and Jimin is shown alone as Artemis, in a silk outfit illuminated by simple light bulbs meant to look like stars. He ballet style dances to “I NEED U,” while using the piece of cloth to highlight his movement and incorporating a traditional Korean dance in his set.

The stage then lights up with red lights and actual fire for Suga’s song and dance “Fire.” He is representing Hephaestus and is costumed like he was back in the Hwa Yong Yeon Hwa era of BTS’s music.

Water falls over and stops the fire and Jungkook is shown sitting in a pool of water and smoke. His song is “Save Me” and he represents Poseidon. He spends and splashes water everywhere, his tasseled shirt helps with the movement.

Then the lights struck down as J-Hope dances to a techno style remix of “Fake Love,” he is Zeus shown with a laser light show.

Lastly, the leader, RM enters to “Dionysus” powerfully walking onstage as Dionysus and picking up his mythical thyrsus. He holds it over his head and rolls his eyes back as he plants it into the ground. The stage burst into life.

Then BTS performs “Dionysus” surrounded by Greek imagery. The insane choreography is some of BTS’s hardest yet and the staging is overly grand. Men in boring uniforms and men leading real horses enter. BTS sits on a Mount Olympus court as the song kicks off. RM jumps onto the table and walks across, then pounds his fist and the other members rise. They dance on the front table before moving to the front. Before the final verse, they revealed “Dionysus” remixed “N.O.” again emphasizing that they haven’t lost the love for their old music. Right before the hardest part of the dance RM asked the audience: “You ready for this? Is you ready, see your hype! Jump! Come on, let’s go!” The show finished with all of the band members sitting on thrones.

The entire BTS performance from the awards.

At the award portion of the night, they won eight awards, four of those being daesangs, or “grand prizes.” The group won Artist of the Year, Album of the Year, Record of the Year and Song of the Year.

January 16, 2020

The citizens of Hong Kong remain concerned regarding the removal of their civil liberties within their country. After weeks of relative calm, on Wednesday Dec. 31, the planned peaceful New Year’s Day march turned to violence within hours.

It was the second large-scale demonstration that the police authorized. Thousands of people had begun the day marching at Victoria Park in a protest named “Stand Shoulder to Shoulder.” They chanted “five demands, not one less” and “liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

They want the Carrie Lam administration to accept their demands; the biggest being an independent probe into police actions and universal suffrage. Hong Kong used to be a British colony that was promised different freedoms from the rest of China, though Britain returned the city to China in 1997.

The Civil Human Rights Front (CHRF), the event’s organizer, said over a million people had marched. The police estimate was lower, suggesting only 60,560 people had marched, causing official numbers to be unknown. Hours after it began, the police rescinded their permission, saying “thugs” had thrown bricks and petrol bombs, set fires, damaged banks and shops during the demonstration.

At least five people were arrested for vandalizing both a glass door and ATMs at two branches of Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation (HSBC), a large pro-China bank in the city. It had recently shut down the Spark Alliance’s $70 million account.

The CHRF told Radio Television Hong Kong (RTHK) that they condemned the officers for “forcing” them to end the march, saying that the police were “full of lies” about what was happening and, “aim to separate Hong Kongers.” They say that after police arrested people “it was quite peaceful,” until they say the officers “simultaneously deployed tear gas.” 

They called the police’s decision “absurd” and accused them of escalating tensions by firing tear gas at the crowd. Protesters built barricades out of umbrellas and stones as the riot police shot water cannons and pepper spray. CHRF made a statement that until the protesters’ demands were met, “Hong Kongers shall not back down, and peace shall not resume with ongoing police brutality.”

Once night fell, protesters built more barricades, lit fires and fought the riot police. Several dozen people were arrested by the police in the Causeway Bay area; witnesses had said some of the people were just bystanders.

The world watches, wondering if the protesters have the strength to continue against their government which still says it won’t concede to the demands for democracy. It also wonders if Hong Kong itself can survive. 

In November 2019, Hong Kong voted in electing pro-democracy politicians in a show of support for the protests. It was a strong rebuke to Communist Party officials in China. The vote caused the long period of calm.

In a media briefing, Senior Police Superintendent Ng Lok-Chun stated that about 400 people had been arrested. Their charges included taking part in an illegal assembly and possessing weapons. He said the police had revoked the march’s permission because some protesters had “hijacked the procession” and “threw a petrol bomb at an officer.” He also stated, “the police were reluctant to terminate the march.”

This march intended to enlarge the movement’s scope, calling on people to both join labor unions and plan ahead for future strikes, as well as for educators who have links to the movement to resist in the face of adversity. 

Hong Kong’s chief executive, Carrie Lam, has attempted to calm the protest to please her superiors in Beijing. On New Year’s Eve, Lam addressed Hong Kong in a video message.

“Let’s start 2020 with a new resolution, to restore order and harmony in society. So we can begin again, together,” she said. “We must handle the problems at hand and acknowledge the shortcomings in our systems as well as the deep-rooted problems and conflicts that have been accumulating for many years in our society.”

January 19, 2020

Poppy, the artful and creepy experiential YouTuber turned musician has publicly split from her director, creative partner, and alleged boyfriend Titanic Sinclair. Poppy rose to mainstream internet fame around 2016 when PewDiePie reacted to her videos in a video of his own.

The task of explaining what exactly Poppy is a grueling one. She’s a character whose style was very innocent, kawaii and bubblegum pop until this year. Her videos feel hypnotic with their insanity.

Anything can happen, from 10 minutes of her literally only saying, “I’m Poppy” to her interviewing her best friend, a mannequin. Viewers can begin to see that the videos have a creepy under layer to them. Things seem off; numbers keep appearing, things glitch, and Poppy begins to sound like she’s crying for help. That’s where the fun of being a fan of Poppy begins, being able to theorize what’s happening, it’s exhilarating.

However, this is real. Moriah Rose Pereira, the actress who plays Poppy, is claiming Titanic Sinclair (Legal name: Corey Michael Mixter) has abused her, in a public statement made on Dec. 28, Poppy wrote, “I was a person who suffered similar wrongdoings as one of his former partners brought to light,” which, many have taken to be a direct comment on the 2018 Mars Argo lawsuit. Mars was Titanic’s former creative partner and girlfriend who sued him based on abuse and sued Poppy for copyright infringement.

The news was sparked by Poppy unfollowing Titanic on all social media a few days before the public statement, as fans became quick to run wild with conspiracy theories. Titanic later did the same, unfollowing and deleting every photo of Poppy.

Then on Dec. 7, 2019, Poppy removed the directing credits for Sinclair from many of her YouTube videos. Shortly after the deleting, rapper Ghostemane revealed that he and Poppy had begun a romantic relationship.

This Dec. 28, 2019 tweet shows three screenshots of Poppy’s Instagram story explaining the situation. (Twitter @poppy)

A transcript of the above screenshots:

“To whom it may concern,

I grappled with the thought of making this statement but I decided to set the record straight.

As some of you know, my former creative partner and I have parted ways. This was a long time coming but this is a person whom I defended in the past because I thought he was misunderstood. The reason I am making this statement is due to the amount of misinformation online about me and my character and I owe it to myself to clear a few things up.

I met this person at a young age and things were seemingly good for a while until echoes from his past were too loud to ignore.

I was never ‘an accomplice’ to this person’s past actions like some believe – I was a person who suffered similar wrong doings as one of his former partners brought to light.

This person glamorizes suicide and has used it many times in the past to manipulate me. And the last time I finally had enough.

As a grab for attention he messaged fans before he tried hanging himself while I was on tour with an item that belonged to me. These are tactics that he used for years. This person lives in an illusion that he is a gift to this Earth. He weaved himself into a storyline, wanting the public to believe he was a puppeteer, which is so far from the truth.

In light of recent events brought to my attention, he is already quick to jump in and use my former friends as his next experiment, repeating manipulative patterns he has for years.

I was trapped in a mess that I needed to dig my way out of – and like I always do, I figured out a way to handle it. I encourage those of you who feel trapped in a situation, whether it be similar to my previous one or not – to take the first step because that is the most difficult one.

This is not a request for sympathy and I am not a weak victim, but this is me setting the record straight.

I am happier than I have ever been and I am excited to move forward.”

Fans cheered on Poppy, starting the hashtag #TitanicSinclairIsOverParty in which they spread the word of her statement, showed support and admiration for her, and shared memes making fun of the alleged abuser.

People have criticized Poppy for victim-blaming Mars back in 2018, others have speculated that Titanic might have forced her to. Poppy’s tour is still on schedule and publically she seems to be fine.

February 17, 2020

My Chemical Romance (MCR) has decided to light my emo heart on fire once again by releasing “A summoning…” The short film is 13 minutes and 19 seconds long and cryptic in the same insane manner as Twenty One Pilots’ and BTS’ videos, creating a mystery for the fans to solve.

The video starts with a zoomed-in shot of black Converse being laced up. The person gulps and stands, walking past a white guitar. It’s Pansy, a clone of the guitar that was burned during the Life on the Murder Scene era. The camera pans over a desk covered with vinyl and a quill pen well. The camera pans to a corkboard with some of Gerard Way’s sketches, Mikey Way’s photographs, and some other paper scraps; the centerpiece being a spooky eye.

The young man* wearing the shoes walks into the kitchen, grabbing a coffee mug labeled “NJ Dept. Of Corrections.” (MCR is from New Jersey.) He brews the pot and then looks through some clothes. The first is the jacket Gerard wore during the band’s “Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys” album era, the next is a black jacket with golden buttons, looking like a shirt from the bands “The Black Parade” album era.

The man grabs a black hooded cape and tares duct tape with his teeth. He tapes off the windows with black trash bags. The camera pans over a gas mask which is a symbol with triple meaning for fans, as it is the same one used in all three of Gerard’s comics. The man puts on the vinyl of MCR’s debut album, “I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love.” He then proceeds to light candles around photographs of the band member’s families.

He walks with another candle and sits it on the floor. There is a pentagram in tape with an MCR album in each corner with an ouija board in front of him. The camera focuses on his obscured face as his hands move the placet, blocking the question from the camera’s view. The TV erupts with static, rapidly flashing five tarot symbols:

The candle

The sun

The hand with a match

The blood drop

And a never before seen logo. Which I assume is this new album’s logo. Correction, members of the witchcraft community in the comments have said that it’s actually a sigle symbolizing MCR. I’m still trying to verify this.

The camera drops to the ouija board. Moving from around the O area over to spell out “R-U-N” as the front door is hit with loud knocking. The man looks through the peephole and sees three Draculoids from Danger Days.

The camera pans over a key ring labeled “Hotel Bella Muerte Room 512”. Which is a reference to the song “The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You” off their album, “Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge.” The 512, however, is new. The only thing I could think of is that 5-8-12 was the last day they performed live. Or maybe it’s the release date of this new album, May 12 2020?

The man sprints into a red door with the candle on it. He runs into a bar with green and purple lights, the helmet from “The Ghost of You” music video sits above the bar, it is clear that this bar is representing the album, “I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”. First room, first album, and all the references are from this era. (The song lyrics in the graphey, the posters, etc.) The patrons are drunk and watching the “The Ghost of You” music video.

Suddenly, a woman is sucking the arm of another woman and the camera flashes a man’s vampire fangs. 

The three Draculoids reappear, the man runs through another red door. This one with the blood drop. The music is a slowed-down version of “Helena,” and the church this man has entered looks identical to the one from the “Helena” music video. He picks up a flyer for  Helena’s funeral. We see the blood-splattered couple for the album cover of “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge” being married. They look back at the door, Helena stands, doing her dance.

The three Draculoids reappear, the man runs behind a curtain. He lights a match. (The matchbox is another song reference, labeled “Fire at Will.”) He steps out of a coffin, and into the hospital from “The Black Parade” where we see The Patient’s bed from the music video. Something is under the sheets. The man pulls them and the heart monitor stops. Showing 5-18-12. This is the events of TBP being shown from the other side. The three Draculoids burst through a red door with the hand and match. Our man hides and then sprints away as they follow.

A red door with the sun appears he runs through. Suddenly he falls out of the passenger side of the “Danger Days” Trans A.M. [I screamed.] It speeds off while blaring Dr. Death-Defying’s iconic radio transmission. The car circles back, almost running the man over. He walks past the mallets from the “I’m Not Okay” music video. The Draculoids march forward, the man runs into a red door with the moon symbol. A nuke explodes like the beginning of the Danger Days comics.

The man is lying in the middle of a circle of candles as five cloaked figures stand around him. It fades to black and the music becomes hopeful as he walks into the gymnasium from “Teenagers,” the door is black with the new logo. He follows a path of candles as he’s suddenly in a stadium. The pentagram and ouija board is back, it says “Yes”. The man looks up and smiles, the lights turn on to reveal, “FORUM” the symbol appears and city names fade in and out.

At the very end, we see the skeleton with the ex band member Bob’s TBP jacket and the dead Draculoids.

*I assume he, the nameless character, is a man. However Gerard Way is genderfluid and if this character is a representation of them, then it is reasonable to assume the character is he/them. In a 2014 Reddit thread when asked about gender Gerard had said, “I have always been extremely sensitive to those that have gender identity issues as I feel like I have gone through it as well, if even on a smaller scale. I have always identified a fair amount with the female gender, and began at a certain point in MCR to express this through my look and performance style. So it’s no surprise that all of my inspirations and style influences were pushing gender boundaries. Freddy [sic] Mercury, Bowie, Iggy, early glam, T-Rex. Masculinity to me has always made me feel like it wasn’t right for me.” 

February 21, 2020

It is no secret that when I find something I enjoy I dive into it. Ask my coworkers and friends who have sat through me talking about anything I love and they’ll tell you; “LeAnne really likes details.” Which, I take no shame in, but it can be a lot for someone who isn’t expecting it.

While working I decided to watch Billie’s new music video, “everything i wanted.” I enjoy her music a lot and thought I would just pop it on while doing some more fixing of our YouTube channel. The first small detail I noticed was that the lights of the skyscrapers are timed to the piano. The next was that Billie is blinking on beat. It’s tiny details like that I love so much.

As a fan of Billie’s, I knew about the song’s history before watching. Billie suffers from night terrors and sleep paralysis, so the theme of dreaming and nightmares is one commonly used. This song, for instance, was inspired by a dream Billie had in which she committed suicide. In the dream, her friends and coworkers had betrayed her post-death, ridiculing her with statements that nobody liked her. 

Billie Eilish explaining the video to BBCR1 via Twitter.

The single was released onto YouTube with an abstract image of the Golden Gate Bridge, which is a popular place for suicide. Billie said that the song is also about her brother caring for her and the lyric of, “As long as I’m here no one can hurt you” is a direct example of that.

However, I wasn’t expecting the video to open with the words, “finneas is my brother and my best friend. no matter the circumstances, we always have and always will be there for each other.” The lowercasing instantly let me know Billie typed this herself, as that is her style of writing. 

The camera vertically pans over an almost somber cityscape until we see Billie driving an expensive car with her brother in the passenger seat. We see a close up on both of their faces, Billie is singing and Finneas looks calm. As Billie sings they drive onto the Golden Gate Bridge, the ocean is in view through the windows. 

Finneas mouths the lyric: “as long as I’m here no one can hurt you.” They drive onto the beach and Finneas mouths the lyrics, “if I could change the way you see yourself” and “they don’t deserve you.” 

Billie floors the car into the ocean. As dark water overtakes them, Billie sings, “I tried to swim. But my head was underwater.” The car further sinks with the two holding hands: Finneas smiles, water fills the floorboards and the viewer is left in darkness.

The viewer can interpret that Billie killed herself and her brother.

It’s dark and sobering. The lyrics showing Billie’s fears around her newfound fame matched with the visuals. The metaphorical implications of this, that her fame killed her and her brother; really, it’s amazing. 

We live in a time where I believe, we as Generation Z, have been almost doomed from the start. We embrace it, of course, joking and using humor to cope. But at the end of the day, a vast majority of us have been depressed or suicidal in our short lifetimes. To us, this side of Billie is the most normal, the most relatable. 

As the older generations might fearfully look upon this video as romanization, we relate to it in an almost unexplainable way. 

I have decided to include the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number, 1-800-283-8255 in my conclusion of this article. It’s okay to ask for help.

February 25, 2020

TikTok is a rapidly growing social media app, created when ByteDance, a Beijing-based company, spent $1 billion to purchase Musical.ly and merged their own app Douyin (Chinese: 抖音) with it. The new app was launched in 2017. Rising in popularity each year since. In 2019, CNET announced TikTok was the 7th most downloaded mobile app of the decade, from 2010 to 2019. 

It is a micro-video app, one where users create and share videos from 15 to 60 seconds. The editing features are leagues above the standard social media apps, more comparable to that of professional editing software. 1,000 of features, from instant eye recoloring to flaming backgrounds, all with a single click. The app has videos for anyone and everyone ranging from cooking, vlogging, comedy, music, politics, and cosplay.

I asked a TikToker I’ve been following if I could interview her, she said yes. She is Caoimhe Morris, @caoimhemorris on TikTok, who has 910.7 K followers and 23.9 million likes. She is a cosplayer, famous for creating and acting as her own characters.

* 3/21/20 Update, due to user scandals Caoimhe is no longer friends with @clapdaddie (Colton) or @infernumasylum (Ian). She is distancing her account from them both and no longer working with either.

McPherson: What would you like our readers to know about you?

Morris: I am a geeky girl that likes to dress up and act like other people. 

McPherson: How has your life changed because of this app?

Morris: I didn’t really notice how much this app had changed my life until I realized I only hang out with TikTokers now and not even on purpose. I literally have made so many amazing friends on this app and have had so many unforgettable experiences like traveling or getting to work with brands I never thought I would, overall I’m just so grateful for getting this far. 

McPherson: Is there anything you’d change if you were given a second chance?

Morris: I try not to live with regrets because they make you into the person you are.

McPherson: How do you edit so well?

Morris: I loved the creative field even when I was younger, I wanted to act, make films, draw basically do anything under the sun but I didn’t have the people to really put it together so I taught myself how to edit, film etc so I could just do it myself. 

McPherson: What has been the best moment you’ve had so far on the app?

Morris: The best moment I’ve had on this app is probably anytime in Aruba. Gil, Jayden, Colton, the twins, Ian, Gilean and everyone else in this little familia is amazing and to know that I didn’t know them a couple months ago is crazy because I feel like I’ve known them for so long at this point and memories we have created are unforgettable. 

McPherson: What has been the worst moment you’ve had so far on the app?

Morris: Probably when I put a lot of hard work into a video and no one sees it, that’s a little disheartening but it’s ok next video will be better.  McPherson: Do you think the friendships you’ve made with other creators will last?

Morris: I hope so! I know some of us will drift apart but there are some that I am pretty sure will last a long time.  McPherson: Are there any new original characters secrets you could share? Backstories, new characters?

Morris: I have a new character I’m working on where her band and her are cursed and anytime they play their music they turn into these “creatures” but apart from that new characters are still in the works. Secrets wise the only secret I can think of is a lot of people don’t know that Frenchie kisses her victims on the cheek after she kills them. [Frenchie is Caoimhe’s mafia character.]

McPherson: Do you see yourself moving into more social media apps anytime soon?

Morris: Probably I would love to do more YouTube stuff but I think right now TikTok is good enough for me!

April 12, 2020

“Folie à Deux” came out when I was eight years old. Fall Out Boy (FOB) was a band I enjoyed but it wasn’t my favorite yet. That didn’t occur until 2010 when I got my first laptop and suddenly had access to play any music I wanted. After countless times listening, I came to think of it as one of the most musically intricate and well-developed albums FOB has ever produced. However, “Folie à Deux” didn’t sell well and ultimately contributed to FOB’s hiatus.

There is a plot in “Folie à Deux,” however, it is very hidden and not really understood without the additional “Fall Out Toy Works” comics, which was published in ‘09 and continued into ‘13. The comics are mostly unknown by many which makes talking about them all the more fun. 

“Fall Out Toy Works” was created by Pete Wentz of FOB, Darren Romanelli and Nathan Cabrera. It is written by Brett Lewis and illustrated by members of Imaginary Friends Studios. The story is a cyberpunk tale set in futuristic LA centered around a gynoid (female android) named Tiffany, the Toymaker’s perfect creation. Think “Pinocchio” meets “Pygmalion.” 

Baron is the main antagonist and his company controls the production of pretty much everything in Los Angeles, even the weather but he has no control over his relationships. He asks the Toymaker to create a robot wife for him, named Tiffany. Talking about the story any farther without spoiling the ending is hard.

The trade paperback and webcomic version both had the final page of issue 5 removed, which changed the entire tone of the ending. (It is relatively easy to find online, though.) There are so many things that the comics explain, even the meaning of the album’s cover art: the bear is a boy robot named Crybaby.

To promote “Folie à Deux,” the whole label of Decaydance Records artists did a mixtape of demos and custom songs called “Welcome to the New Administration.” The promotional campaign began on Aug. 18, 2008, when Decaydance’s website was supposedly hacked by a shady group called “Citizens For Our Betterment.”

The link led to the group’s website which was red, white and blue. Links on the page were blocked needing specific IP addresses to work. The Decaydance site was normal the following day. 

The Citizens for Our Betterment web page was updated every day, many posts referring to Nov. 4, the same day as the 2008 U.S. presidential election. The locked links were gradually opened and by Aug. 24, one link led to a page saying “FOB – The Return – November Four” in large big bold letters.

This caused some fans to believe that Fall Out Boy would release their new album on Nov. 4. Others theorized that this was another one of Pete’s attempts to raise political awareness as he previously held a rally for then U.S. Democratic Party presidential candidate Barack Obama. Members of FOB members are publicly democrats. 

Many bands from the Fueled by Ramen label posted on MySpace that same day with the title “Welcome to the New Administration.” Every post contained the word ten. On Aug. 25, the Citizens for Our Betterment website was redirected to the band’s Friends or Enemies page. On which was an image of a voting booth and ballots with the names of several Decaydance artists. 

By clicking on each individual ballot, there was an audio clip from the band reading past posts on the Citizens for Our Betterment website. A mixtape was then made available for download. Listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUZKSsP8Sdo

As for the album itself, the album “Folie à Deux” itself is perfectly gapless as every song fades into the next. It starts with a hidden track called “Lullabye.” It’s a charming track featuring just acoustic guitar and Patrick singing. “Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes” is the first official song. The hook goes: “I’m a loose bolt of a complete machine. What a match, I’m half doomed and you’re semi-sweet.” These lines set the tone of the album with industrial elements and dark storytelling. The world of the Toymaker and how it intertwines with the music. 

“I Don’t Care” kicks off with a classic rock tone, and the accompanying music video is zany and weird. Gilby Clarke from Guns N’ Roses starts the video by saying, “what the hell happened to rock and roll? Eyeliner? Energy drinks? And no guitar solos? I’ve taken sh*ts with bigger rock stars than them!”

The video is filled with miscellaneous sights. There’s the infamous spaghetti cat clip, band members dressed as nuns, Joe flashing people – and it ends with everyone removing a mask and being a different rock star. Clarke himself reveals himself being Sarah Palin in the end, winks.

It’s an all-round weird video. A reminder that ‘08 was a different time, but all and all it fit into the political climate.

Next on the album is “She’s My Winona,” named after actress Winona Ryder. It is a true bop and a slower-paced song with the chorus of “hell or glory, I don’t want anything in between. Then came a baby boy with long eyelashes. And daddy said ‘you gotta show the world the thunder’.”  

This is followed by “America’s Suitehearts” with its nightmare carnival aesthetic that really adds to the story of the album and causes a lot of the nonsense to make sense. 

“Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet,” in which the beat goes hard but the lyrics go harder, follows. It’s a song blatantly about infidelity within a relationship. Considering Pete Wentz’s divorce, it’s safe to assume that this was somewhat based in reality. 

The music video is labeled as “A Weekend At Pete Rose’s,” and is on the old FriendsOrEnemies YouTube channel. In it, Panic! At The Disco’s Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith carry Pete’s dead body around the city. 

“The (Shipped) Gold Standard” is a sad masterpiece about fearing loving another person. This was written before gay marriage was legalized and at a time where the LGBT+ community found safety within emo music and the Fall Out Boy fan base because FOB supported them. 

“(Coffee’s For Closers)” is a song about lost faith, and it hits hard especially with its placement behind “The (Shipped) Gold Standard”. 

“What A Catch, Donnie” has a music video and it’s an odd, nostalgic chronicle of the band’s (at the time of the video’s creation) seven-year history. Filled with memorabilia for other music videos, the video shows Patrick saving his fellow bandmates, as well as Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith. The end of the song includes lines from Fall Out Boy’s most iconic songs at the time. 

“27” jumps the pace back up to fast rock and fades into (all songs fade, but this is the best fade on the record) my favorite song on the album, “Tiffany Blews.” The song makes almost no sense at all lyrically but musically it slaps. The best explanation I can give is that it’s about a hot girl. Lil Wayne has a spoken section that is my favorite part. “Not the boy I was, the boy I am is just venting – venting. Dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city.” It’s such a perfect moment of breath in a nonstop album.

Next is “w.a.m.s.,” which is an acronym that has never had a confirmed meaning. But, the bass in it is so good, and the ending’s stripped vocals are as well! 

“20 Dollar Nose Bleed” is about drug abuse. It includes vocals from Brendon Urie and ends with a creepy poem by Pete Wentz. “It’s not me, it’s you, actually, it’s the taxidermy of you and me / Untie the balloons from around my neck and ground me / I’m just a racehorse on the track, send me back to the glue factory…”

“West Coast Smoker” has the futuristic synth sound that ties the whole album together and that sound is on full display. The vocals pulsing with the music is almost spiritual. I’m skipping the remixes and acoustic versions off of the deluxe version. Instead, I’m hopping over to the bonus tracks. 

“Pavlove” is criminally underrated, and such a good song. The heavy rock cover of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” is also wonderful.

I love this album because every song in it is amazing – it goes without saying, “Folie à Deux” is my favorite album by my favorite band. 

April 27, 2020

“Vices and Virtues” is pure steampunk in aesthetic and sound. It was the newest Panic! At The Disco album when I got into them in early 2011. It’s so good but I should stress that these articles cover my favorite albums – not the albums I think are technically the best – because If that were the case, I’d be writing about “Pretty. Odd.” (2008). Nothing else in emo can compare to it and most fans cite it as P!ATD’s best work. 

The album even received a short film! (Source: Youtube/Fueled by Ramen)

The album “Vices and Virtues” starts with “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” with its dark, moody tone and strong strings it sets the bar for new-wave baroque pop and immediately shakes away any fears of this being a basic album. The music video is wonderful and only builds upon the aesthetic as it takes place at a funeral. I won’t spoil the twist ending but it’s great. 

“Let’s Kill Tonight” is one of my all-time favorite P!ATD songs, placing among my top three. So everything has to be perfect when it comes to that level of my standards. The strings, the lyrics, the speed, the story is all breathtaking and accompanied by the music video, it is a song that well-defines the album. 

“Hurricane” is so good. I love the elevator-music-style intro right before the song shifts into high gear, it’s such an appreciated change of pace before such an intense song. The following track, “Memories” being next to “Hurricane” is so natural; they fit so well together. The lyrics in “Memories” talk of a young love that burnt out fast and the “Hurricane” is song about a fast young love.

Next is “Trade Mistakes.” If I haven’t gushed enough about the strings on this album, here, I have to. They fit so well. The chime noise is so weirdly creative but works so well. Perhaps it’s because of my own orchestra background, but the string work makes this album for me. 

“Ready To Go (Get Me Out of My Mind)” is next. Hot take here: the music video is amazing with its time travel storyline and isn’t too crazy for the album. I know that it got a lot of hate when it came out for “breaking” the narrative and I get that but I think that it works! Honestly, I used to hate it but I’ve grown to appreciate it.

“Always” makes me want to cry but in a good way. It was the first album released after the band split up which makes the emotion behind the post-split hit so hard. “Always” feels like it was written for the other bandmates. The emotion of “The Calendar” is so good. The ending acts as an intermission for the album. 

“Sarah Smiles” was written to woo Sarah, the woman who eventually became Brendon’s wife. It is so cute. I adore it with such romantic lyrics like “Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care, She lives in her world, so unaware. Does she know that my destiny lies with her?” and “Oh Sarah, are you saving me?”

“Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met…)” is such a good song. The demo version, remixed with the final cut became my ringtone for years. Nothing beats the intro after the choir singing and the strings. It feels the most like a Bohemian Rasphody echo with the multiple songs in one song. The transition between the intro to the bass really makes this song. 

Now onto the bonus tracks. “Kaleidoscope Eyes” is a great song but it ranks lower than the rest. It feels the most basic with generic lyrics and it would’ve tanked the album if it wasn’t a bonus.

“Oh Glory (Demo)” is amazing and clicks with the album but I understand why it wasn’t included as it feels uncompleted. 

“Stall Me” is such a bop, but I think the emotions around the break-up explain why it stayed as a bonus having two split songs would’ve been excessive.

The last few rapid-fire thoughts, “Bittersweet” is so well known, so I don’t even think of it as a bonus. “I Wanna Be Free” fits really well with “Ready To Go.” I think it was cut due to similarity. “Turn Off The Lights” should have made it to the album; it’s too good to have been a bonus.

May 31, 2020

On May 30 a Black Lives Matter protest took place in Downtown Dayton at noon in honor of George Floyd who died May 25 in Minn. allegedly due to police brutality.

The afternoon reportedly began without conflict as drones flew overhead and people gave powerful speeches. A few civilians yelled at the police, but violence did not escalate.

An hour in, two young white men arrived with a shotgun roped onto both of their backs. They also possessed a handgun with a knife strapped to their pants. They were met with the demands to leave, as the other protesters feared that these young men could be a potential reason for violence to ensue. Following the demands, they quietly left. 

After the speeches, the group began to march down Martin King Luther Jr. Way. Walking, protesters chanted, “I can’t breathe” and “move your knee.” 

There came a moment, in which, white protesters made themselves into a human barricade to stand in front of the rest of the protesters.

Brian Walker, a photographer for The Clarion, was at the front of the march. He filmed and stated the police set up a barricade at the end of 4th St. Shortly, the protesters had broken through and soon fighting transpired between authorities and protesters. 

As the protesters turned to Wayne Ave, protesters could see the new police barricade perhaps 20 feet away.

Police yelled for people to disperse and suddenly, someone shouted that tear gas was being shot off. Afterward, people poured milk and water into their eyes. There were rumors that some of the children present were maced.

The police began to force the protests back, brandishing riot shields and nightsticks. The crowd had almost completely dispersed by 3 p.m. without any major damage or casualties.

A vigil took place at 7 p.m. and a curfew of 9 p.m. was enacted for central Dayton.

June 15, 2020

On May 17, 2015, Twenty One Pilots’ (TOP) released their album “BLURRYFΛCE.” (Blurryface) wasn’t the first TØP album that I had listened to. Back around 2011, when Tyler Joepsh’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” cover was virial on Tumblr, was the first time I ever heard him. Then in 2013, I heard “House of Gold” as a suggested song on Google Music, and it was the first time I knew that I was listening to a TØP song. 

I’ve loved them since 2013, but “BLURRYFΛCE” in my opinion, is the most essential version of TØP. It highlights both the band’s iconic genre playfulness alongside their religious and philosophical themes. So, with its fifth birthday recently passing, what is a better time to remember its impact than now?

The story of the album’s central character, Blurryface, is indirect. It is more of a lyrical concept than a fully-scripted story, however the story can bring to mind tales such as “Jekyll & Hyde” with its theme of duality. 

This album begins with the absolute slap-to-the-face that is “Heavydirtysoul” reaching a rapid pace of 129 beats per minute within the first few words, it is nauseatingly fast and is the fastest rap for TØP. (Beating “Levitate” and “Ode to Sleep” by just a few beats.)

That speed is almost a distraction from the lyrics, which originally was slam poetry from 2013 in which Tyler asks the listener to save his heavy, dirty soul from himself during the repeated chorus. Similar to its swift beat, its music video shows the viewer a car speeding fast and swerving. It is easy to assume that the driver is Blurryface himself. 

The car is deteriorating represents Tyler’s mental state. Tyler’s hands and throat are also darkened, this represents Blurry poisoning his music. 

Next is “Ride.” If you had listened to any radio stations in the mid-2010s, you heard “Ride”; however, it’s arguably the weakest song. Its video was filmed in a forest, an important recurring symbol of childhood in TOP lyrics and music videos. 

An argument could be made that Blurry is stalking from the trees. Right before the lyric “I’ve been thinking too much. Help me,” Tyler wraps his fingers around his throat. Then, we are greeted with an isolated and snow-covered wearhouse for the video to the song “Fairly Local.” 

Josh and Tyler stand back-to-back; as Josh walks away, the camera shows Tyler’s red eyes. This is Blurry’s song. It’s cocky and unlike Tyler’s regular singing style, emphasized with aggressive lyrics such as: “I’m evil to the core, what I shouldn’t do I will… What I wanna save, I’ll kill. Is that who I truly am?” 

Tyler is silhouetted behind glass while he talks about fans, showing him to be trapped. It cuts back to Blurry, stumbling drunk with power. Then, it cuts to a red room, where the viewer is unable to tell if Tyler or Blurry is in control. Until the camera shows Tyler’s eyes, he grabs his throat and Blurry’s eyes appear, mocking Tyler’s verse. The lights rapidly switch on and off as the two fight for control of the body. Blurry pulls a dark cloth over their face, until Tyler rips it off. However. He ultimately succumbs to Blurry. 

“Tear In My Heart” shows Tyler trying to perform as his mind, Blurry, morphs the world around him. His wife isn’t morphed and he chases her to a restaurant, where she beats the absolute…um…crap out of him. It’s nonsensical and probably a visual representation of how Blurry is making Tyler fear those he loves. 

“Lane Boy” starts off intensely by talking about how some of the songs on Blurryface’s namesake album might feel basic and how it’s an uphill battle to create different music in the industry. He lifts a cloth over his face before the rap begins, signaling that Blurry is there. He mentions the kill list from “Ride” and how he’d do anything to protect his brother. He scribbles on two men wearing hazmat suits with a black marker. 

It shifts to a concert where waves of fans kneel and the two men in hazmat suits are wearing the words “fame” and “success.” Tyler asks, “Why do I kneel to these concepts? Tempted by control, controlled by temptation. ‘Stay low,’ they say. ‘Stay low’.” He screams and jumps to his feet.  

As the music bombastically explodes, he jumps and faces the fans. It cuts to Blurry for a split second, kneeling on the lane. Back onstage, Tyler is frantically rubbing his eye. The cockyness is back as Fame and Success kneel before Tyler, and it can be assumed that Blurry is back in control. The rest of the album is without music videos, relying on lyrics and sound alone for storytelling.

My interpretation of the intro to “The Judge” is that it is Tyler’s prayer to God for a release from Blurry, whom he is referring to as the devil. Soon after this, the song suddenly becomes happy and gospel-like in its tone. 

“Doubt” begins dark and pressing, later using the lyrics “shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no. You are all that I’ve got, no.” The tune is a darker, more desperate prayer. Tyler is pleading with God to remember and save him. He mentions wishing the markings on his skin meant something to him again. 

This is the first time I believe he isn’t referring to Blurry’s iconic darkening of his hands and throat, but rather his real life cross tattoo. His relationship with God is strained by the mental struggle he is having and the fear of losing faith is extremely horrifying to him.

“Polarize” talks of splitting oneself in two behind a disguise. Tyler sounds as if he’s losing his mind, screaming “find me.” The chorus asks for help for his friend’s problems. But, he messes up, saying “we have problems,” referring to Blurry and himself. He talks of wanting to have been a better son, and losing his halo, as if he’s already dead.

“We Don’t Believe What’s On TV” talks about the death of dreams and fears of abandonment. Blurry is further twisting the knife of insecurity. “Message Man,” I believe, holds the implication of Tyler explaining his fight with Blurry. He is outright called a loser for hiding in the song. Tyler starts talking about using his music to fight Blurry, directly addressing fans (referred to as “you”) within the song. 

“Hometown” feels like a reflection, but of a different sort than “Ride.” Tyler literally asks for his soul to be repaired. I think Tyler is acknowledging that those who have grown up with him don’t understand his struggles. The song talks about abandoning tradition and how the spirits back home are waiting. 

“Not Today” feels like the fight between Tyler and Blurry, as Tyler is contemplating sucide by jumping out of his window. “Goner” is Tyler praying before his sucide attempt, attempting one last time to beat Blurry. Judging by how Tyler diminishes at the song’s end, I fear that Blurry won. 

That ambiguity is one of the best parts of this album. The fact that the battle has no clear end and is unsatisfying and leaves the listeners waiting more. It’s such a good metaphor for the uphill battle mental illness and is almost  upsetting that the listener can’t tell who won. It’s fear inducing that there’s an ambiguity that exists. Yet, it’s perfect.

July 2, 2020

“Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys” is next to be discussed. I should start this section by apologizing for breaking the Clarion’s “no more articles about My Chemical Romance” rule. It wasn’t going to survive with me around. I’ve written here before about how my friend Mag really dragged me into the emo scene in 2011. 

“Danger Days,” my MCR album of choice, simply must be included in this article. First and foremost, “Danger Days” and the podcast “Welcome To Night Vale” are the two major things that inspired me to be a radio DJ throughout high school. That choice has impacted my life in so many ways that it’s not even funny. The album is amazing; comic books, apocalypse and anti-capitalism fit so well together. 

I won’t focus on the comics as they take place 10 years after the album. Dr. Death-Defying’s intro in “Na Na Na” is hands down the best intro to an album ever. It accomplishes more world-building and tone-setting than most full books in just a few sentences. 

The song blasts us into the world of the Killjoys (the rebels fighting for freedom in the story, who are personified as the band members) so well. It sets the immediate goal of saving The Girl from the evil Korse who kidnaps her at the end of the song. “Bulletproof Heart” is so romantic and such a powerful song. 

“SING” gets a lot of crap for being ‘too poppy’ for “Danger Days” but I disagree. The music video follows the Killjoys breaking into the evil BL/ind organization to save The Girl from Korse. A struggle ensues in which they all die; however, they do succeed in saving her. 

The rest of the album takes place before the kidnapping and deaths. “Planetary (GO!)” is a party song with its poetic lyrics about the folly of fame contributing to the song’s dance party concept. 

“The Only Hope For Me is You” has an intro that feels like a hazy dream as the synth sweeps up the song. It is a power ballad and highlights the war (the Analog War, according to the comics) that the characters are fighting, with constant mentions of guns and bombs. The song shows that the Killjoys have nothing left but each other. 

“Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid / Traffic Report” adds so much to the world. Are they dead? Who knows! Keep listening to find out! 

“Party Poison” is such a good rock introduction to the chaotic character of Party Poison. It starts with a clip of the character talking about bombing since, according to him, life’s too short not to fight. There’s a reason that he’s the leader of the rebellion in this war. “Save Yourself (I’ll Hold them Back)” is a good sneak peek at what the Killjoys will become. 

“S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W” feels like a lullaby to The Girl. I should explain a little more about her character here.  The Girl is nameless. When the Killjoys took her in, they didn’t want to give her a name but let her decide for herself. She’s the main protagonist of the comics. 

“Summertime” feels like a somber prequel to “Bulletproof Heart,” like love before the war. “Destroya” takes us right back to speed. A duet between Gerard and Frank, the song includes moaning, which makes this the most awkward song to play out loud. However, it adds to the story. 

“The Kids From Yesterday” has a music video consisting of footage from MCR’s last tour, but I feel like the song is the Killjoys coming to terms with the fact that they’re gonna die.

“Goodnight, Dr. Death” is the official end of the album, where the titular Doctor is murdered as the national anthem plays. The last song is “Vampire Money,” which was written as a response to people asking Gerard to be in “Twilight.”

August 6, 2020

Iwrite fiction in my spare time and have consistently for nearly eight years now. When I was very little, I used to tell my stories verbally to my friends. The theatrics of live storytelling has always been something I enjoyed. Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) feels like that. Imagine writing a story out loud, now, imagine co-writing that story alongside nine other people with a very fluid plot and rules. It’s a spectacular chaos filled with extreme highs and lows.

It’s no secret that we at the Clarion are, for the most part, big nerds. However, the general public might be unaware that back in early October of 2019, we formed an unofficial joint Dungeons & Dragons party between us and a few members of Sinclair’s Bright Signal Alliance with Clarion photographer Brian Walker as our leader. 

Our group has met weekly since, not counting the odd weekends where a majority of us were too busy to. Before quarantine, we made D20, the local D&D bar, into a second home for ourselves and added a few players outside the main groups of the Clarion and Bright Signal. (Speaking of which, support local business whenever you can right now.)

In pop culture, D&D is typically portrayed as a group of men in one of their mother’s basement. They gather around a candle-lit table covered in junk food while wearing dollar store costumes, argue over math and throw a pile of funny dice. While players do occasionally cosplay, it’s not a requirement. 

Also, the gender gap of players is greatly decreasing. Personally speaking, my own party is seven women to three men‒a relief to the common problems associated with being the only girl present. 

House games are still quite common, but now there is a growing trend of having community bars or clubs houses for players to be more social. Math in D&D is almost always a basic addition. Nobody would argue over it. A dice set is typically made up of seven dice. 

There’s the 20-side die, or D20, the 12-sided die or D12, the 10-side die or D10, the 8-sided die or D8, the six-sided die or D6 and the 4-sided die or D4. 90% of the time the only die the player uses is D20. The rest are used typically in battle, but we almost never use them all at once.

D&D isn’t as complicated as it appears at first glance. The first thing you pick is your character’s race. Note, race in D&D refers to if they are a mythological creature or humanoid, not skin tones. For example, mythological creatures include orcs, half-lings, etc. 

Next is class. Class is not an economical place, but more an occupation or defending characteristic. These include, but are not limited to, a bard, a fighter, a ranger, a wizard, a rouge, etc. 

There is a list of all the rules that apply to each race and class in the DM’s guide book. These rules are the lifeblood and launching point for your character. However, there is a lot of freedom in creating your appearance, backstory, and personality. After the group of players create their characters, they are a party.

The dungeon master, often referred to as a DM, either creates or uses a pre-created campaign for these characters to adventure forth in. They could last anywhere from three months to years. The players use their rules and earn points each time they play together in a session. Over time, the points add up, causing the players to earn levels which grant them new skills overtime.

Currently, our group is facing our biggest opponent yet – the leader of an army of shapeshifters. I have a suspension that the leader will be a multiple session fight. Our sessions are four to five hours. I am beyond excited about it, and I theorize so many things about the character in our group chat, undoubtedly giving Brian free inspiration to use later against our characters in battle. He is a good fiction writer. I’ve seen his foreshadowing of this in previous sessions.

However, the bigger reward is the friendships we’ve formed. I’m never lonely anymore with a group chat that often hits 70+ messages a day. Someone is always up to talk about life or joke about the frustrations of college. 

These friendships run deep, and I truly know that any of them would help me in a time of crisis and I would for them. It’s refreshing and probably one of the happiest things in my entire life.

The effect on my own happiness has been profound. College caused a lot of frantic changes to my life. I had to handle the change in responsibility from high school to full-time college and navigate my first paying job while fearing I would mess it up. My best friends of over a decade were suddenly gone, moved away or busy. 

It left me resentful and bitter, feeling like I was all alone again. I was terrified. Having started working at the Clarion in July 2019, I was already making fast friends with my coworkers. A D&D group seemed like a wonderful addition to my life. That was, for the first time in forever, not going 200 miles per hour with 15 extracurriculars. I didn’t know just how much I needed something like it. 

It was never a question after the quarantine began that we would find any safe way possible to continue our game. And try we did. YouTube banned our livestream for copyright. Discord crashed practically anytime more than five of us used it. (To be fair they have done a system overall after the beginning of quarantine.) Google Hangouts never wanted to work and was just as bad as it was back in 2014. Skype has zero users but is still laggy.

Zoom is currently where we house our game and seems to be our long-term solution until the world is safe again. It hurts not seeing their faces weekly. It hurts when my crappy wifi drops me from a game, but we know it is the responsible thing to do. Keeping a 5-hour weekly distraction where I force myself to try not to look at the news, work, or school. Just five hours of hearing my friends weekly have done more good for me in quarantine than I could ever understand.

November 4, 2020

Unus Annus is an experimental YouTube channel centered around the meaning of digital content and the concept of digital death. It currently has over 4 million subscribers. The channel is the brainchild of two incredibly notable YouTubers: Mark “Markiplier” Edward Fischbach and Ethan “CrankGamePlays” Nestor-Darling.

The purpose of the channel is that it only exists for one year, uploading a video each day. Beginning on Nov. 15 2019, “Unus Annus” will die on Nov. 15, 2020. Yet, this isn’t a regular channel ending. Rather the entire channel will be permanently deleted. No videos will remain, making their creation from a YouTube-business standpoint practically worthless. However, this isn’t about business. It’s amplified by the fact that Fischbach and Nestor-Darling have gone as far, in the age of the internet where everything is permanent, as to ask fans to respect the experiment and not reupload or archive any videos.  If Fischbach and Nestor-Darling are taking a financial loss on the potential ad revenue of year’s worth of videos post-deletion, one might ask if this crazy experiment is even worth it? I am here to argue it is. The creativity from this channel has been spectacular. No idea is too insane or taboo. From their first video, “Unus Annus” presents an incredibly serious tone, one that rocketed to the top of YouTube’s trending. Now, the video has 9.4 million views.

The second video, “Cooking With Sex Toys,” also earned the number one trending spot the next day. Then, it was incredibly clear that this channel could be anything and everything. That flexibility is part of the channel’s charm, within videos the switch can happen – one moment, Fischbach and Nestor-Darling are eating the world’s hottest chip. The next, the two candidly discuss their own deaths. The idea that a mundane video could suddenly become profound is jaw dropping. The variety of content is genuinely entertaining. Alongside the fear of missing out since all videos will be gone forever, it all helps fuel the addictive quality of the channel. 

Nestor-Darling and Fischbach have been friends and creative partners since 2014. They met at a gaming convention, and the young, star struck Nestor-Darling did a backflip, attempting to impress Fischbach. Fischbach is a YouTube pioneer, having been on the platform professionally since 2012. With his Slenderman let’s play series granting him early success and then his Five Nights At Freddy’s series not only launching the game into the public eye itself but also making Fischbach even more famous as well. Not a stranger to ambitious projects before, it’s quiet fitting that the duo created this. Even though no experiment to this scale has ever been attempted on the platform. The origin story of “Unus Annus” is quite simple however, when talking about the project both insist that it’s just a crazy idea they had and wanted to try. 

The theme of death is celebrated through the channel, encouraging viewers to enjoy their lives as it is the only one they have. The Latin “Memento Mori” (remember death) is a popular slogan of the channel. The duo often play into the cryptic spooky side of the channel, even going as far as to have their solid suit characters Unus for Nestor-Darling and Annus for Fischbach. In fact there is an entire underlying mystery, a hidden overarching narrative. It has inspired an entirely fan operated Discord server “Unus Annus Lore Hunters” of 7,745 members to attempt to solve it. I’m personally involved in the server as I love cryptic messages and decoding. 

To me, and millions of other fans this shared experience of this outright ridiculous experiment has been worth it.