IdentityUnsure

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?

It is so annoying when authors try to make their characters seem tough by making them sleep deprived and then just having them "power through it" with no side effects besides feeling REALLY tired. Your characters had five hours of sleep over three days, they're not just "tired". They're forgetting shit. They're passing out at random moments. They're probably hallucinating. And they are certainly not going to win a fight when their reaction time is somewhere between "next Tuesday" and "never".

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”

The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.

Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.

You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator

Enemies to Queerplatonic

No.

why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe

If only pugs could breathe through their butt too :((

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

learning that providing people with food when they're experiencing a huge life change has really revolutionised my supportive gift-giving techniques and it works every single time. you've just moved house? takeaway gift card. you have a new baby? takeaway gift card. you're suffering a bereavement? guess what. takeaway gift card. have one evening of not having to thing about cooking or groceries or meal planning. take a little breathing space.

Cooking horror game where you play as a cook working in the galley of a ship in the 1800s. There’s some kind of supernatural nautical horror story going on in the background but you barely notice this because you spend all day cooking in the galley.

As the game goes on you have to cook for fewer and fewer people but their orders--and the ingredients they bring you--become increasingly unhinged

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: 'Do you speak a foreign language?' Yeah yours /End ID]