Random Insanity on Tumblr

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

I said what I said.

Inconvenient Truth: these are the same person

Yeah, well, I can’t stretch out that review of 16th century economics by adding a gratuitous hand job.

#not with that attitude you can’t

when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

genuinely cannot comprehend how democrats are gonna convince the youth to vote for them again in november after they literally let the police beat the shit outta them for protesting against genocide

the gifs i find on this website... you guys are art curators

I love your grandpa and this is gonna do NUMBERS here

This is delightful!

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic

u kids really liked this one huh everyone doin ok?

This weirdly reminds me of the time the people installing the new water heater at my house found hundreds of living clams and mushrooms under the floor in our basement.

I'm gonna need you to elaborate and provide images if possible because that sounds both horrifying and fucking magical.

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses