let there be dragons

"Claws like sharpened bananas shot toward me."

a lot of people are very angry with me over this, but I'd just like you to sit down and imagine a banana. maybe a green one so it's extra firm. if you need it to be harder, you can toss it in the freezer.

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

complimented a cashier on her turtle pin this morning and she said "oh thanks, I am a little bit of a Turtle Person" with the carefully contained energy of Cookie Monster telling you he's mildly fond of chocolate chips

just finished watching every year after (i didn't read the book) and lemme just say spoiler alert, sam is such a fucking red flag daaamn, like okay, percy shouldn't have slept with charlie, that was a whack ass move, but like... sam broke up with her twice, both times bc he wasn't really trusting their relationship tbh, and the second time he did it over a fucking email??? like dude, you have no right to be upset your girl fell right into the arms of the guy who practically saved her all summer and its unfortunate that they are brothers but like, you literally brought that on yourself buddy and he has the nerrrrvveee to be like "i don't know if i can forgive you" ummm forgive her for what? for sleeping with someone when they weren't together?? shut up and grow up and also at the end its poor charlie who is having a damn heart attack with no one around??? fuck off, he deserved better even despite his mistakes

no you don't get it. he broke up with his girlfriend right after he saw percy for the first time in twelve years. there was never anyone else for him and he knew it. he weight trained every day because he wanted to be strong enough to pull her out of the lake if something went wrong on her big lake-crossing swim, and he had nightmares weeks beforehand about something happening to her because he cared about her so much. he sat with her and helped her through her panic attack even after she'd just admitted to something extremely hurtful. he bought every horror movie he'd see for years so he just had a box of horror movies he couldn't watch without her. he asked her to make him a friendship bracelet in the same colours as hers the day they met. he loved her. he loved her so much, every step of the way, in small ways and big ways, in every little glance, in the choice to forgive her and be kind to her after what she'd done. he loved her, even knowing the truth. he told her, "the way I felt about you was always so clear to me—even when we were young I knew you and I were meant for each other. two halves of a whole. i loved you so much that the word ‘love’ didn’t seem big enough for how I felt."